Rants

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I really wish people would stop telling me everything I do and everything I am is not appropriate, when others go and do inappropriate shite all the time that is not at all in line with this social script.
The inconsistency drives me crazy - I think I've learned what the standards are and then people just go and violate their own BS code and no one cares.
Train travel - I was always indoctrinated that you get in, sit still, shut up, don't do anything that will disturb others such as noise or eating or moving about, read a book or look out the window, then get off.
Some woman gets in to the designated quiet carriage, starts having a domestic dispute and screaming at someone, takes off her clothes right down to a sports top and shorts, gets out all these clothes from a bag and proceeds to dress herself like an Eskimo gyrating around exaggeratedly while she does so, screams at some stranger, then gets a bunch of paper towels and starts "cleaning" the seats, sits down, starts eating, then produces a q-tip and starts digging in her ears with it and examining the results, then asks me "what are you looking at?"
A junkie, I hope, or my understanding of what is "appropriate" is off by a mile.
It seems people have NO IDEA how to behave appropriately in public, but still get to tell me I'm "weird."

Idiots.

Condescending idiot mocking me for being mentally ill.

I swear Milwaukee radio is very out of touch here when I don't want to be on Pandora or any internet based radio or YouTube. I mean we have way too many Top 40 stations here like 4 or more of them. FM 102.1 for some reason is now the most ironic radio station I have listened to in Milwaukee, I mean locally owned yes, but ironic because the things they post and say when promoting is bad. I mean by this is that I have listened to FM 102.1 long enough and recently to notice this trend with them. They mention a lineup but the thing is they never play them and when it gets played and promoted the day of but after that it's back to square one with just about everything and when they promote shows and the ads they have music wise with major bands they never play them but outside of city and county of Milwaukee they're promoted. Milwaukee radio has been neglected hard rock and other types of genres. But then again Milwaukee is in love with salad-tossing top 40 bull. I mean Garbagefest, I mean Summerfest started being lame for me. Man f-ck Milwaukee radio.

Would be nice to not have to stream another city like Green Bay for my kind of music or not use Internet-based like Pandora,Spotify etc. radio all the time. But then again, nothing can't be done. So I need just to get used to it. I would've love to have a petition to start by someone and get people to sign it and have these e-mailed so these radio stations even if they don't care at least have in the back of their head that maybe expand or promote more known things.

I wonder why some services & corporations don't exist in my area to wholeheartedly help autistic adults enter in the workplace and I don't mean in a menial related field. Yes, I know it takes money as well as networking resources too but, considering the fact, there is a great number of autistic persons of my age or younger whom are very bright & intelligent and would make a valuable asset to any company. Still for stupid
reasons few if any institutions exist as a means of providing such. Hopefully, one day someone will come along and really see the full potential of all autistic persons in the workplace and not just shove "Us" aside and treat us like were damaged property..

My 21 year old son is driving me nuts. He is extremely intelligent, but has a sort of mean streak in him. He is arrogant, and thinks he knows everything. I love him to pieces, and treat him really sweetly and gently and do lots of things for him, and always have. I was treated cruelly by my mother (who was narcissist and/or borderline personality disorder and alcoholic), and abused and bullied by other family members and kids and teachers at school, so I get upset easily by people saying mean sarcastic things to me. I wish I could just not react, but it happens instantly and automatically, like a reflex. I think I'll come up with some stock answer, and just say this back to him very calmly and matter of factly, or just ignore him completely. The trick is, not to get upset inside myself. I"m very emotional, and wish I could control my inner emotions better. Anyone know how to train myself out of getting upset when people act mean?

I absolutely f*****g HATE that if you are hip, cool, and NT, you can basically say and do whatever the f**k you want, and people don't care. If you are different, not hip or cool, or just plain very honest, you get punished, judged, abused. If you are a kind and gentle soul, but yet not quite socially sophisticated, then you are treated like a vermin. This world is f****d up.

These fireworks suck. Not much of a rant, but there you go.

I really hate the way certain NT's foist certain "societal" (old fashioned) expectations and rules on you. I have some very old fashioned backwards relatives, and my husbands parents were extreme in how old fashioned they were. You know, when NT's phone you or talk to you and want to have a "conversation". Here are some examples I've experienced:

1) to a sponsor in a 12 step program, expressing family stresses to her when my kids were very small, and she responded 'you know it's SO IMPORTANT TO ENJOY YOUR FAAAAAAMILY'. She said it really emphatically, just like that. I stopped using her as my sponsor after that. It was ridiculous.

2) certain cousins asking me "Did you just have an absolute wonderful time at that party?!?!"

3) another cousin saying after I gave birth to my first child "I'll bet all your friends are beating a path to your door".

4) At Christmas, everyone faking it and pretending it's all so so wonderful, and saying manically with big grins "MERRY CHRISTMAS!! !!". I have no idea how to respond to that without being a liar.

5) mother in law asking me "Did you get all your baking done? Have you sent your Xmas cards? How far along are you on your Christmas shopping?"

If I don't answer all this with the standard stock response, they just respond in this uncomfortable way, and don't know what to say. I hate it. This is why I avoid a lot of people.

I wish some people would quit tormenting me about my single(relationship status). It gets on my nerves cause, I've honorably and sincerely have tried to make such scenarios work yet, have failed multiple times.

I hate my f*****g life,



My family is some f*****g bull s**t and I am f*****g imbecile.



f**k it all to hell and burn this f*****g s**t with nuclear fusion,



...That felt pretty good actually...

DEATH

DEATH EVERYWHERE

NOTHING GETS BETTER

THE LONGER I LIVE THE WORSE MY LIFE IS

f**k ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE

f**k YOU CO WORKERS

f**k YOU FRIENDS

f**k THE SELF RIGHTEOUS CHRISTIANS THAT HATE ME FOR SOME THING I CAN'T CONTROL

f**k YOU ALL

Except the people here...

Forgive me its late and I am having a bit of anger towards the way things are, maybe I should just sleep but hey at least this is posted in the right section, right?

I wish my cat would just stfu. Her constant meowing is giving me a really bad headache.

Portugal will lose and Ronaldo will get his balls hijacked in front of a world arena. There is only so much proud arrogance I can take.