I feel discouraged...

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Having successful conversations with professional people has a set of unwritten rules. I don't claim to know precisely what they are, though points that spring to mind are:
Plan ahead which issue you wish to discuss
Stick to that issue
stay focused on and open to solutions
stay in the present, only cite past issues that are 100% relevant to the presenting issue
Listen and don't interrupt when they are speaking
Be concise
Stick to the issue, don't go off topics.
Deal with one issue and one issue only
Be polite
Acknowledge their willingness and thank them for their time and input
Don't play games
Don't detour into a life history or litany of complaints
Ask specific questions: "What do I need to do?" "Who can help me with this?" "What is your best suggestion"
Don't argue with the answers you get, just acknowledge them (thank you for your input)
Don't expect them to listen to the history of your life
Respect their time. Ask how many minutes they can spare, and stick to that.
Send a thank you message.
Prepare in advance.

Nope. ASS-P thinks I'm an a**hole because there was a time he was homeless a few hour drive from me and I contemplated taking some items to him to help him through the rainy season in Seattle, but he was such a miserable a-hole he's impossible to help & has such a terrible attitude about things. It'd have been a waste of gas, time, and resources to cross an international border and take things to him that he wouldn't even bother trying to use, or would discard or lose promptly.

I also suggested he maybe burn a bunch of material items he can't carry or store instead of being weighed down by them and what to do with them & he took great offence to that. It was a legitimate suggestion, though. Keep the smallest items he can put in a backpack or pocket, get rid of the rest permanently so you no longer worry about them. He didn't like that one bit. Ah well.

lol that's why there was a 30+ page thread about it.. him saying he wasn't asking for money, but in the next breath asking for others to store, or pay to store, his brothers things. We pointed out that the vast majority of us don't earn a lot of money (I have some money, but my income is barely above the poverty line here) and if anyone paid to rescue his brothers stuff they'd likely be storing it indefinitely since ASS-P doesn't exactly have the cash to zip around the country to collect his brothers things, or have a place to have it shipped to etc.

That's why, in the end, I've made a few offers to phone the lawyer and find out how much stuff there actually is. No one knows if it's an envelope, shoe box, pallet, or shipping container's worth. At least with info we could advise him of his options. And with someone making a phone call that has a professional phone manner (me) we'd be able to find out what they are and aren't willing to do with the stuff - ie if they'd ship the family photos and donate/discard the rest or if the whole lot must be received by someone etc. A bunch of mysteries could be solved in a phone call. But ASS-P doesn't seem interested in finding anything out via that channel, so, w/e. He's still at square one on all that stuff.

ASS-P is a person of some intelligence. He has an ironic, sardonic sense of humor. He likes music and comics. He keeps up, at least somewhat, with what's going on in the political arena. He's not always cranky.

He has severe health problems----especially the diabetes, which I believe is the primary cause of many of his toes being amputated. He also has CHF and COPD. He can't really get around too well because of all his ailments; a wheelchair would be quite useful for him. He is also overweight; when he retains water because of his CHF, he can gain as much as 50-75 lbs.

One of his pet desires is to enjoy the "college experience." He feels like he was denied that when he was the appropriate age.

He feels, with some justification (I believe) that he's been screwed by the system. He's angry about that. I feel that this interferes with his ability to get the help he needs.

How do you perceive my communication style if I may ask?

Significantly closer to normal. A little rigid, sometimes frustrated, sometimes long-winded Aspieness.. but not rude or angry at people for no apparent reason - just long winded & frustrated trying to logically justify your arguments with rigid logic where, IMO, the NT-ish grey area you're often incapable of seeing need apply. But you're not a grumpy dick by any means. I'm sure you have challenges with real life communication at times, but not nearly to the degree of severity that I imagine ASS-P does. You're alright. Whenever I think your communication is "off," I'll say so. Not that I'm the be all end all judge of forum communication lol I have plenty of my own fluctuating flaws depending on my health in the moment - if my symptoms are strong, my frustration shows through in what I write here & I know it.

Seeing Ass-P's situation made me take a step back from things. I don't want to end up becoming like him.

You're right, I am frustrated. Maybe you're right. Maybe there is a NT-ish grey area I'm not perceiving well. And, that could be possibly the reason that I find things so contradictory and orwellian. My father is an NT and he says that I'm thinking to much in absolute terms. And, maybe that is my issue.

Another thing, I find a lot of the advice especially employment as scant and vague.

...I have a perfectly fine phonde manner, GF (there is a WP-er I've had lengthy phone talks with), and am fine " dealing wi th persons in positions of authority ", as I can detail some other time
Yes, switching to someone else...As I believe I said earlier here, my posting circumstances are extremely challenging - more so than likely anyone here, even when I am not having difficulties with my eyesight ,as I am now , here in the hospital (and though I could be able to see an eye doctor, it will take a long time to do so).
Having to return to lousy GF, regrettably...I do not remotely care one flying fart about your claim that you once offered me money but yoh backed away, let alone your claim that I hate you for not helping the and have swollen eternal vengeance for it. You over-estimate yourself mega-absurdly. I don't give a f**k about it.
I don't want your phone calls, or any such " help ".
What I meant about your unwanted call to the lawyer (I don't trust you.) is that it would be of no use to make a call, as, turning to the other people here, I have outlined already, not that such a call could not physically be made. You REALLY did not understand that?

h21"]

Nope. ASS-P thinks I'm an as*hole because there was a time he was homeless a few hour drive from me and I contemplated taking some items to him to help him through the rainy season in Seattle, but he was such a miserable a-hole he's impossible to help & has such a terrible attitude about things. It'd have been a waste of gas, time, and resources to cross an international border and take things to him that he wouldn't even bother trying to use, or would discard or lose promptly.

I also suggested he maybe burn a bunch of material items he can't carry or store instead of being weighed down by them and what to do with them & he took great offence to that. It was a legitimate suggestion, though. Keep the smallest items he can put in a backpack or pocket, get rid of the rest permanently so you no longer worry about them. He didn't like that one bit. Ah well.

lol that's why there was a 30+ page thread about it.. him saying he wasn't asking for money, but in the next breath asking for others to store, or pay to store, his brothers things. We pointed out that the vast majority of us don't earn a lot of money (I have some money, but my income is barely above the poverty line here) and if anyone paid to rescue his brothers stuff they'd likely be storing it indefinitely since ASS-P doesn't exactly have the cash to zip around the country to collect his brothers things, or have a place to have it shipped to etc.

That's why, in the end, I've made a few offers to phone the lawyer and find out how much stuff there actually is. No one knows if it's an envelope, shoe box, pallet, or shipping container's worth. At least with info we could advise him of his options. And with someone making a phone call that has a professional phone manner (me) we'd be able to find out what they are and aren't willing to do with the stuff - ie if they'd ship the family photos and donate/discard the rest or if the whole lot must be received by someone etc. A bunch of mysteries could be solved in a phone call. But ASS-P doesn't seem interested in finding anything out via that channel, so, w/e. He's still at square one on all that stuff.[/quote]

So then why the f**k don’t you phone the lawyers office and ask for the info you need then?

Why are you waiting months for an email as if it’s being delivered by Pony Express during a war instead of just picking up the phone and asking?

We already told you what's wrong with your eyes. You are going to go blind because when you aren't in the hospital you go on fast food binges and you never check your blood sugar. It is a complication of your uncontrolled diabetes, just like all the amputations.

If he goes blind, he is probably "more" eligible for supportive housing services; it would make it less likely that he remain homeless.

I still hope he takes the steps required not to go blind.

My mother went blind because of diabetes. It was horrible for her. She loved to read and couldn’t anymore. She finally started listening to audio books. It would take a lot more tech to access the internet if blind. There would be a learning process and more equipment to lug around. The last room he was in only had one electrical outlet. He would need more. Going out would be a super challenge. Difficult to walk or use a wheelchair. Unable to see where going ....

Yep. All that stuff.

Never go blind if you can help it.

Yeah! I’m very near sighted and that’s bad enough.

...You are really not worth my talking to !
Stupid.
I don't feel like explaining your false impressions.







"]So then why the f**k don’t you phone the lawyers office and ask for the info you need then?

Why are you waiting months for an email as if it’s being delivered by Pony Express during a war instead of just picking up the phone and asking?[/quote]

...I have those eye problems here, now (apparently - from what the eye doctor I, as I mentioned??, saw here said - and I will see someone in the future, but it will take a long time - aging.stuff about my cornea? is included), while on a hospital diet 100%. If' s not just " you ate MickeyDs" , I think.

We already told you what's wrong with your eyes. You are going to go blind because when you aren't in the hospital you go on fast food binges and you never check your blood sugar. It is a complication of your uncontrolled diabetes, just like all the amputations.[/quote]

Diabetes can affect the cornea.