My life was a misfire

Post Reply New Topic

...For the question of the storage and more:
After my brother died , nearly a year ago now it became known to me a while after his death that there was, possibly, money available to me, that had been money set aside by my mother during her life for him that would now be available to me. However, after the issue was brought up, it was a " maybe ", that the NYS lawyer, briefly, thought I could get some of that money, but it was presented as a " maybe ", not a guarantee, for months, IIRC - the possibility was there. It was not resolved, then, finally, it was indicated that there was money, and I started receiving it from the NYS lawyer both directly and indirectly (the motel situation). It has never been explained to me how it is set up. The lawyer just, finally, told me that money had become available, after it had been a " maybe " for months. This happened IIRC just as I was finishing up hospital time and roughly as.I had nowhere else to go. It's good the money 'manifested itself or I would be badly off - especially with back pain ...which is now not much a problem - because I've been able to avoid having to go around all day in a backpack due to the money being available!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...As for the stuff inherited from Bruh, when I brought it up before, I had no idea where it could go. Then, the NYS money 'manifested itself, so I was less immediately worried. However, it's not as absolute as that might sound.
For the NYS money in general, my thought was that a place for me could come along g through Social Services/whatever based I guess on the " pay __% of your money for a place " level and the NYS money could supplement that. I don't believe the NYS money is enough to live on. Again, remember, I don't know what the set-up of the money is, I don't know how much there is, I'd guess the NYS lawyer is the payer-outer. I haven't received money on a set/ " you get $____ per ____ " basis, I've just asked for the money and received it.
I certainly don't think the money is enough to pay for a place indefinitely. Obviously, to have an immediate place to put things together, I have rather heavily drawn on the money to do the motel thing, etc. Perhaps I " have not done things as speedily as I can ", however, I did eventually get the storage space - with no help in doing it, with no car and crippled. I had been, before this latest ending up in l'hopital, counting down to/meaning to get much of those books, etc. I splurged on up to the storage space...which would require CONSIDERABLE! physical effort and taxi rides on my - crippled - part, barring help in doing it manifesting itself. However, my fixation on the whole question of the " maybe " eye operation,
and what I guess was the effect of the .massive CHF water weight gain yet again affected me. I had been telling myself I'd start on the moving stuff there - I mean the stuff I bought out here - this last weekend. I was here instead. I have had the storage space since...mid-May??...now, I have still not gotten anything into it, it is quite expensive. To an extent, I had thought that, if I got a place here, I might ending up keeping the stuff of Bruh 's in that, after disposing of the presumed stuff I don't want - As I have said, I gave only a vague idea of what the Bruh stuff is and I presume his clothes and other things of little interest are much of the mass. The stuff I bought here was with " seed of my own collection/bookshelf " in mind . I had thought that a presumed place could hold the stuff from Bruh eventually with me either disposing of the storage space or downsizing to a smaller one, after the fairly large - all they had at the storage place - space I now have, which might be what is needed to hold the boxes of Bruh 's boxed stuff when it gets here, from what descriptions I have received.
Remember, too, BTW, that a projected arrival of Bruh's stuff would involve these massive boxes all arriving for me at the homeless center where I receive my USPS mail - after which I would have to arrange.somehow, some moving-type person going to the mailbox place and physically taking the boxes from there to the storage place - and my unit is on the third floor there, There's elevators and some kind of carts there - My space is also 100% empty, no shelves, anything - Remember my difficulty in bending over & getting up from the ground .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

... Apparently the things from Bruh are still safe back East and the NYS end - apparently - will pay for the shipment here. However. in a sense, once they're here. it's keeps.
You know, in this latest hospital stay, I am again having pushed on mre the concept of pulling up stakes and relocating to a board-and-care place fifty-sixty miles away, in Patterson (Sp?).m, where I have never been. Once again, authority pushing " Go have the rug pulled out from under you 100 ! It'll be great! " . There's some here, no doubt, who will respond to that with jumping up and down and shouting " YES YES YES!! !! !! !! !! THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE, YOU BUM! " . (Yes, the possibility exists that I could do it, if nothing...etc.)
As for the possible eye operation, the doc presented it as something that would be done in San Jose 's big hospital, 59-60 miles away...hardly an afternoon's procedure.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Thanks for the update. Once again, I am sincerely impressed with your efforts to 'meet us halfway' in terms of being clear and forthcoming with the details of your situation, so that we can better understand your needs.

I've followed your threads long enough to understand that freedom, independence, and living your life the way that makes you happy, is more important to you than what we might consider the 'safe and responsible' option, of a more stable housing situation in Patterson.

And it's not that we think you're a 'bum', and that you 'deserve' it. The opposite, actually. If anything, you deserve a place to stay, and not to be constantly uprooted by homelessness. So it's eye-opening for me to realize that from your own perspective, being sent to live in an unfamiliar place is being uprooted, and torn from your familiar surroundings. I get that that's stressful, and you have consistently indicated that it's a last resort, not something you would willingly choose. While I personally would choose the 'safe' option, I respect your right to make that decision for yourself.

I also understand that having even a few belongings of your own, and a place to keep them safe, means a lot to you, and gives you a sense of connection. I hear you, that it's going to be a monumental effort, physically and logistically, to get that stuff mailed to you, received, and transported. But I support you in that goal, especially since you've already made significant progress in getting the storage, and arranging things with the NYS lawyer.

It sounds like the plan is to have your brother's things sent to HSC, and then get a taxi to take it to storage. Sounds doable to me, honestly. For the moment, the motel seems to be a decent and safe place to stay, while you take care of the arrangements for all that.

You mentioned looking into a "through Social Services/whatever based I guess on the " pay __% of your money for a place" (is 'Supportive Housing' the term for that?) - and I think that's absolutely something you should at least try to get on a waiting list for. Talk to a social worker, and make sure that you are being considered for whatever options are available.

It seems odd to me that the NYS lawyer is not giving you the full details, of your own financial situation. I know nothing at all about legal stuff, but you're right, it's difficult to make long-term plans, not knowing how long you can expect that money to be coming in.

But I'm glad the hospital and social services are taking your issues seriously, in terms of the possibility of the San Jose eye operation, and pointing you toward a board-and-care situation in Patterson. They're doing their jobs, and I understand that resources are limited, but they're trying the best they can, to help people in need.

In the meantime, take care, and feel better, and I hope soon you'll be feeling up to getting back to your motel, and your comics, and your pursuit of things that make you happy in life, because in the end, that's what matters.

so r u asking people here to store things 4u because thats not reasonable or realistic

This is one of those times when I wish I didn't suffer from psychosis, and had a better grasp on reality, and the subtleties of social interaction.

I do not understand the behavior of people in this thread, nor do I trust that I am seeing things correctly. But if forum rules are being broken, there is a respectful and mature way to voice that concern, and I'm not seeing that happening here.

Then again, I've been hallucinating spiders and rats and bugs lately, so I could be wrong.

^ True, but you're bringing up a locked thread to point that out, which is against the rules.

The problem has been addressed, and the behavior corrected. Let's move on.

Ashariel, I'm sorry you are having psychosis difficulty. But in spite of that, you are behaving very humanely and appropriately in this thread. There are some people who could learn a lot from you.

Hope your head clears soon.