My mother is an idiot
You try living with a complete power and control nutter, violent and cruel, and I bet you'd change your tune.
There's something called the law that would argue otherwise. Also, for many years, some men (and occasionally women) used the above to excuse appalling domestic violence.
Of course, it's a balance between, one on hand, respecting one's parents and their rules, and on the other, having one's own rights as a child respected. Rights don't always disappear when one is older.
In an ideal world, children would be out the door when they were 18. But we don't live in an ideal world.
Some of the posts here smack of 'it was alright for me, and it happened like this for me, so it would happen for everyone else like this'. Not so.
Note "rules that they don't like".
"Reasonable" would be the yardstick one would use here.
Watching a show that he's old enough to, and what would be seen as "reasonable" in his country? That's fine. It's not hurting anyone.
Is this cruel? absolutely. Is it fair? Not at all. Is it realistic? Yes, unfortunately. but that is life plain and simple.
Now, if he was complaining that he wasn't allowed to smoke weed in his bedroom, then that's a different matter, and it wouldn't be "reasonable" for him to (though with saying that, there could be arguments made for being able to do such in his room, especially if he's prescribed it by a doctor).
Just because someone owns the place doesn't take anything from their responsibility they have to their children, and parents "should" be fair. Not complete dictators. If they're not prepared for the possibility of having to look after their adult child, then they shouldn't have had them (though again, people can foist their disabled children off to the government nowadays -- which if the parents aren't disabled themselves, is kinda really sad).
again, "fair" is relative and no, there is no rule nor law, nor religious principle that says parents "should be" fair, to my knowledge. Regardless, even if there is, "FAIR" is relative to the culture and beliefs in question,and none of us have the RIGHT to expect others to change their culture to satisfy our sense of right and wrong.
The adult child always has a right, in the country of the OP (u.s.a.) to leave, and nothing more. there are no more "squatters rights" that one might try to argue. Your sense of "FAIR" suggests that everyone forgo their beliefs to satisfy yours, and quite frankly, that's just not "FAIR", considering you won't do it for them. So you're are demanding what you won't give in return. Sounds a lot like that to which you object.
The truth is simple. Parents don't have to cater to any child's wants or wishes. They don't have to provide the child with his/her favorite tv show, or any other for that matter. Caring for an adult child does not obligate the parent to entertain nor cater to the adult child. It means nothing more than room, board, any necessary medical care, or arranging for an institution to provide such, if the parents are incapable for whatever reasons. Nothing more. TV is not on that list. Neither is internet, nor telephone, nor visiting hours for friends, nor condoms for sex, nor prostitutes when one can't find a partner, nor any tolerance of a digression from the parents culture or religion. None of these are required by anyone or anything, law or otherwise. Plain and simple.
Now again, all of that said, The OP does need help, but help does not have to include any of the above. Cruel? in some cases. Illegal? no. The only recourse the OP has, is to leave. Which I think has been demonstrated by many past posts by the OP, is not the wisest of choices, until and unless the OP gets professional help that enables him to be independent properly.
EDIT:
I am neither angry, upset nor indignant at those who disagree with me nor those whom I express disagreement to. I am merely offering the perspective of reality, no matter how unpleasant it may seem. I am not the best at expressing things and may come across as offensive and this is not my intent. So read it for bluntness and nothing else. Thanks for understanding.
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equestriatola
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equestriatola
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Yeah; but to tell you the truth, some days we are are peace, other days not. Most families tend to be like this, I think.
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Hey, all. I'm just Johnny. Go ahead and talk to me if ya wish.
Seems likely. Even my wife and I have good days and not-so-good days, and she's the "sugar on my churro".
Right now, "Charlie Brown Christmas" is on, and I remember sitting with my sibs and parents in front of the old Curtis-Mathis. For 30 minutes, we were quiet, except when were laughing at Snoopy. We haven't had that kind of togetherness since 1965.
This was before my brothers started getting arrested on an almost yearly basis, before my dad started drinking heavily, and before those nosy busy-bodies started telling my parents that there was "something wrong" with me. There was a lot of other drama, as well.
I'm now in California, and they are all east of the Mississippi. Maybe we'll have our usual long-distance conference call on Christmas Eve ... maybe not ... but they're family, so I should at least go through the motions.
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equestriatola
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Right. Once I do get the resources to live on my own, I will try and get a restraining order against them.
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Hey, all. I'm just Johnny. Go ahead and talk to me if ya wish.
What should I do? She is being a prissy, overbearing, obstructionist idiot! I'm not a kid anymore, goddamnit! She is the most Mormon-like mother anyone could have! UGH!
Well my mother actually is mormon, and she is nothing like that, in fact none of the mormon mom's I know are like that.
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equestriatola
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What should I do? She is being a prissy, overbearing, obstructionist idiot! I'm not a kid anymore, goddamnit! She is the most Mormon-like mother anyone could have! UGH!
Well my mother actually is mormon, and she is nothing like that, in fact none of the mormon mom's I know are like that.
Yeah, but then again, everyone is different. The fact that Mormons are rather strict is gathered from what I have heard about them. Again, I've moved on from all this. I'll just let this thread come to a natural end here.
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One other thing you could do is say "Well Mom, I'm a grown man. If you are using your authority over the tv to refuse to let me watch a harmless tv show then I guess I'm going out for a while. There's actually an adult theater I heard just opened up. I'm gonna go watch some porn for a couple hours. Don't worry, it won't be on your tv. Who knows, maybe I'll run into PeeWee Herman! See ya!" And then leave for a few hours. Don't answer about the porn when you get back. Tell her you are grown and what you watch outside of her house is your business. The next day ask her if she minds if you watch the show.
I bet it works.
What should I do? She is being a prissy, overbearing, obstructionist idiot! I'm not a kid anymore, goddamnit! She is the most Mormon-like mother anyone could have! UGH!
Well my mother actually is mormon, and she is nothing like that, in fact none of the mormon mom's I know are like that.
Yeah, but then again, everyone is different. The fact that Mormons are rather strict is gathered from what I have heard about them. Again, I've moved on from all this. I'll just let this thread come to a natural end here.
" from what I have heard about them"
Really, such a great source of information.
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