Going have to leave this site.

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Can you explain how his negativity and "attention seeking" has insulted you personally? Otherwise I'd say you're the one creating drama. His "libel" was lashing out at another member who has also said a lot of not-so-nice things in the past that you might not be aware of.

Emma, you have not been here very long nor have I seen you or sly even interact with each other so I am not sure why you have such a strong opinion on it.

I don't know what sly did specifically for his first 'two strikes but this hubbub about this so called libel was a total overreaction. Now I am not singling you out Emma, you probably just walked into this without knowing the scale of Machiavellian scheming some do on this site but my advice to everybody is not to take the mantle of a moderator when not you're not a mod and let them do their jobs themselves. I never report posts, I never try to get people banned, and there have been some quite personally insulting posters to come thru these parts.

We really need to get the ignore function on this site working, it's kind of a joke at this point. If there is a poster you dislike or someone that triggers you with the negativity then you shouldn't have to read their posts, I understand how it can be upsetting totally and it wears on me as well at times but we all have our struggles at times and I definitely don't want people being policed for being too negative. The advice given on this forum really is secondary, it's more about venting and receiving support from peers than about any practical solutions because solutions only come from one's self. I think it has a chilling effect, this 'quit complaining' attitude apparently backed up by the mods just makes me not want to share and for some people this is the one place they reach out to because they don't have anyone in real life they feel comfortable with expressing these feelings.

His posts are never positive or what ever topic he makes from what I've seen, and reading them starts off for me as maybe he's just down at first then the more I read and posted in his topics or whatever he posts which turned from empathy to irritation for when I replied to any of his topics and him quoting me with that victim act along with excuses for whatever reason he has when quoted.

B) His lashing out to a newer member can seem as libel and attention seeking. I never wanted or intended to attack him but truth is needed with him.

C)I actually would like a mod to talk to him about some of his actions and not a warning or banning unless it's needed. But reading the original post line made by him, it seems he has been warned more than once. As this quote says a lot for me personally.

quote="sly279"]I'm only one warning away from ban and yet people are allowed to attack me in my haven post 0.o[/quote]

I never wanted to sound dramatic or creating it because I can kind of relate with him with another topic about women but in my case it's men and sometimes women. Though not on all but some.

I get mad seeing sly act like this. Believe it or not. I just want to see a positive or a neutral like topic, y'know? Yes I know it sounds dramatic and extremely a**hole like out of me to be highly caustic like posts. I was giving tough love. Look, I probably have the worst reputation on here. Not sure how bad though, but I bet's it's bad.

Since I'm extremely hard to approach in real life. An AS group I was in via meetup.Was told in October that I am "scary", "not very optimistic" and offended others, when it's zero intention behind it. On here as well.

I am NOT asking form him to be banned never did once. A talk would be nice via mod or someone to be real and honest and give advice. I have posted in some of his topics. My thing is how can someone be that extremely negative on a message board? I haven't asked for a ban for him, I just want a mod or someone to at least talk to him, is it really that much to ask?

I swear people on here got me 50 Shades of F**ked Up.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with my opinions or observations despite being a newbie.

Emma, you may want to quit this debate while you're still ahead. Right now, I see a storm gathering, with you at the center. Be careful what you post, as anything you do post can and will be used against you, no matter what your intent may be. This is, after all, the Internet.

Thanks for the news, Allie

Amity had a great idea: if Sly gets mad, why doesn't he just post it in the "Rants" or "Raves" section?

I also appreciate XFiles giving us the news. I would bet that it calmed many people.

Yeah, I know now and I wish I didn't take the the bait posting in here. But yes I am aware of this being the internet. No need to worry. Still trying to adapt to a place like this. Dealt with NT boards for a decade. Last post for here.

Also Briana is my real name

Briana's a pretty name.

I hope this isn't your last post.

Everybody makes mistakes. What we have to do is learn from them.

You know what is funny that this is a very reactive post, one where you feel I am attacking you and that I am not understanding your intentions, that is something sly quite often does when people are critical of him so maybe that will help you understand. I have nothing against you, you're not a the center of anything don't listen to Fnord, I know you are someone from my hometown and even share some similar interests so I have no interest in hurting or attacking you. I want to like you, I want to be friendly towards you, so hopefully you don't sense hostility at least from me.

We've all tried to help sly and I don't think a stern talking to is really helpful, he shouldn't be abusive towards other posters absolutely but that is the moderators responsibility to take care of. I do feel there is a point when he says people gang up on him, there are people here that would rather he just go away because it bugs them reading the negativity in his posts and I understand why it is bothersome to read these posts since we all have our own struggles, I don't know what to say tho other than to avoid the posts when you can. This forum SHOULD have a functioning ignore option as even free forums have but that isn't something on Alex's priority list it seems.

As I've said before, you can't force people to follow the advice you give them no matter how good it is and as support forum you can give this advice but what it is really about is just letting somebody vent and express things versus keeping it bottled up and peer support that might have anywhere else. I think sly could very much benefit from taking medication, I think it really could change his perspective on things but I can't force him as only he can make that decision as I had. We on the spectrum really mature at different paces in uneven weird ways, some of us may never get to where we want to be unfortunately but it's a slow process and one that has facilitated by yourself. That doesn't mean alone but the want and motivation has to come from within.

Trust me, it's not my last post.

I still remember via PM about possibly dressing up as "The Fonz" for a convention next year in Milwaukee. :3

I just have to adapt to this message board more, since it's almost 10 years on majority NT based message boards could be longer, not sure.

I'm learning right now so I know my mistakes now and try not to do it again.

I'm cool with that.

Yeah, sorry about that. I just was frustrated and confused at most. See if I saw that much earlier before posting on his topics, I'd just lurk or look for something else.

Too busy trying to look up characters for my wrestling character or any female wrestler I should look at besides the obvious AJ Lee or Mickie James. Though I was recommended Dementia from the 80s, I so wish I could think of the show she was on. Also was recommended Babydoll due to the fact of her size managing. If you know another good one message me and I'll look into it Looking into anime and video games character who are crazy. So yeah...

Though I know now that I can't get anywhere with sly along with others who have tried to help. I think he shouldn't leave unless he did something gravely serious enough to warrant or earn that type of leave or suspension or ban. It's rather sad to see.

Yeah I can only do me in the end. That downward spiral is scary to see reading his stuff cause I was near that downward spiral. I need going to rectify mine so I can function better and start working on taking psycology classes and some other things.

The only warning worthy thing I've ever seen sly do is lash out during a meltdown, meltdowns that were largely intentionally provoked by people trying to wind him up. My suspicion is that his tendency to generalize about women got him on the radar of the feminist clique that lurks on the board, and that they've been generating enough reports to keep the mods focused on him. There are much more openly abusive members who've been here for years, but they don't have dedicated groups following them around reporting their every petty misdeed, and so haven't drawn the amount of attention that sly has.

Emma: Can you point out where in the forum terms of use there is a rule stating that general negativity requires moderator attention? If you look at the haven, 95% of things said are negative. 99% of people who start topics here are extremely frustrated with life if not clinically depressed. If you can't stand general negativity why are you even reading posts here? If you're calling on moderators it seems you would defend yourself with specific transgressions instead of complaining about vague character issues. The sarcastic remark you are labeling as libel is about as annoying as the typical "boot-strapping" tough guy advice the member it was directed at frequently gives.

Really, the problem is while 95% of people respond helpfully in Sly threads in the haven, there are always one or two people who leave harsh biting replies that basically say "shut up and quit your whining". Maybe these people think this "tough love" thing works, but they are just feeding him more negativity and making him more and more defensive and bitter. Please believe me, he didn't start out being mean or lashing out.

If you're going to rage at me for pointing certain things out then it looks like you have just as thin skin as Sly. You feel attacked, he feels attacked. Can't you just empathize and try to be nice?

I don't think he was provoked into some of his meltdowns. One was aimed at me despite my trying to help him. However he has seen that he made a mistake and apologised. I think you need to point it out and explain it to him rather then just let it go. If you do just let it go it's not fair on sly because he will continue to not understand.

He can be unintentionally hurtful sometimes and I hope this temporary leave will help him.