Girlfriend barred from entering US :(

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On both my trips to the USA, I was pulled over for a search and they semi-interrogated me about where I was going, where I live and work, what my job responsibilities are, where I was going and what I was planning to see, what I was bringing,etc, etc, etc. At least they were professional about it and it didn't cost anything.

Returning to Canada and visiting France was a complete breeze that took a few seconds. As far as I'm concerned, I would be a huge step down to go from Canada to the USA legally or not so this seems all the more puzzling to me: there seem to be far more crazies in the USA in my experience. I may visit again but am in no mood to rush out and do it again.

Welfare isn't easy to get, agreed, in fact not even every European country is exactly as free handing it out as you think. Europe doesn't have the same policies all across Europe; they are still different countries (just about...) who have devised respectively different systems and it's hugely different in, say, Sweden, than in the UK. There's even a country in Europe that has instigated an Unconditional Personal Income while other countries will probably never adopt such a thing. The UK right wing governments would never let that happen in the UK, they are hateful to the very people who might greatly benefit from something like that, particularly those with disabilities mental or physical.

But that's another matter.

Back to the United States:
What it is, in their way of thinking, is that they don't want someone coming there and either winding up on the street (therefore a "problem" they didn't have to have), or working illegally before (or without) the processing of any legal status. And the welfare restriction is after after you get your green card, or after you've had work, of even if you get legal work after getting your green card but you don't make much and want to apply for even just food stamps. You're not supposed to draw on any public funds as a permanent resident alien, at least for a period of time as far as I remember, which is in years not months.

So this is even after going through the green card process and being legal to stay and legal to work and after legally obtaining your social security number. You're restricted from applying for any kind of state help that a regular citizen might be qualified to apply for for in the same circumstances whatever those are that might crop up.

That's why they want to make sure the person who wants to reside can either support themselves or will be supported financially by either a sponsor or the partner they are marrying.

All they're looking to achieve by that is just one thing: to not permit to reside someone who might be a burden on public funds even down the line, even after getting settled/granted a green card etc. It's like "Our own born citizens can be a burden and we're just going to have to have that happen, but if we have the choice to let a brand new one in to add to those figures, no thank you."

It's all about them having the opportunity to be selective when there's a choice.

Certain criteria they have is just good sense, even while at the same time it seems unfair and punitive.

I kind of "get" both sides of it, I can see both sides. It both sucks and yet makes sense. It's stringently excluding and ass-holey. Yet at the same time, having none of these rules would produce chaotic results. It's a nation that a LOT of people in other countries covet living in. The Immigration Department know this and they have to have in place some kind of brakes on that.

Australia is apparently pretty tough too these days.

I totally agree about the "burden" notion, and I also want to clarify that this is not my own personal belief regarding those who need welfare assistance. I think there should be even more provision than there is for people who have genuine difficulty and I think these people should NEVER be considered a burden. I also believe that even if such a person wants to emigrate, their disability, mental or physical and their need for some help, shouldn't necessarily be a barrier.

I have no idea how that would work and it's probably a utopian impossibility, but yes, I don't like like the sense I get that a "burden" notion comes into play with most governments who have a welfare system. The UK, for one, makes you feel like scum for even needing what they offer in terms of any welfare.

But in my opinion it tends to be, arguably, the unspoken stance of most governments and even some staff on the frontline of the systems.... In other words, even though the welfare system exists and is funded and is meant to be there for the compassionate of goal of helping those who genuinely need the help, one can't help getting the feeling that they make it so hard to qualify for that it's given grudgingly, and that there is a sense of the Powers That Be looking down on anyone needing the system. Especially in the case of anyone applying to immigrate for non-refugee reasons but "just because" or -- especially -- in the case of relationship reasons.

And it's not that I defend them having restrictions in place on disability or needing assistance per se, I mean more like it's good that there are restrictions on things like criminal records, or close examination of the ability for an able person to not need public funds, etc. That's what I'm intending to mean.

I don't mean to depress you with all this -- I've said too much and this thread has become more of an examination of the problems in the US policies, rather than keeping it about your girlfriend.

Rest assured that in all likelihood you can sort all these things out and things are going to proceed just fine. There are cases every day that "go through" just fine, even ones more complicated than this. This is only one "send-back" and she hasn't done anything wrong.

You are engaging a lawyer specializing in the field who will know exactly how to proceed next; you also have family who can be responsible for the financial support aspect.

Things are probably going to proceed in a run of the mill manner and you'll get there in the end.

Just be aware they do make there be hoops to jump through, several rounds of paperwork to file, and each filing costs fees -- I don't mean fees to the lawyers, I mean the immigration department themselves charge you money for filing your applications.

It's expensive and a huge pain in the ass, because they kind of make it be that way. People manage to successfully navigate through and there's no reason why you can't too, just be sure to know it's a big deal.

Sponsoring is not supporting. My parents sponsored my husband, but they didn't give him (or the government) any money because he got a job. I supported us with my savings until he could find one. Which he could only do after receiving his social security number, which took about two months AFTER we entered the country.

off topic posts have been removed, and Katy's latest sock puppet has been banned.

Please return to the topic of this Haven thread.

This is so sad and heartless, sending someone back after they've already gotten a visa. I wish the both of you all the best. How are you both doing now? Hanging in there?

I had no income at all when my husband came to the States. If there's another sponsor, I don't think it matters.

Ever since 9/11, immigration has gotten much stricter.

They were strict even before 9/11.

I'd cover all my bases, if I were you. Dot my "i's." cross my "t's."

I would err on the side of caution.

Now her parents want me to immigrate to Turkey. I am afraid. I said I wasn't sure I could do that and now she is upset. I'm upset. She is afraid to come to the US now because of how the border police treated her. I don't know what happened. I don't know what they did. I'm trying to reassure her it isn't personal. Her mom doesn't want her to come here now. I'm feeling broken. I don't know how I can begin the process of filing for a K1 if she doesn't agree. I think it's her parents more than her. They are being rigid and irrational. They were open before, now they aren't. They don't speak English and I don't speak Turkish so it's really hard to fully communicate. This is just awful.

I am definitely getting a lawyer to help. I just need to make sure I have a good one. I'm definitely not doing anything alone. Right now the problem is she needs to agree.