I don't want be alone

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I don't want to be alone either. But I guess we don't always get what we want.

relationships only work [meaning living together in the same space day after day for a long time] if people are basically similar, with similar likes and dislikes. it is very hard to find people similar to us.

Yet so many did. If they could do it why can't I?

it's a numbers game. there may be substantially more people out there in the mating pool whose interests diverge from your interests, whose likes and dislikes may be incompatible with yours and vice-versa. there are not too many people out there like us.

If only hiring a personal coach wasn't so darn expensive. Hurtloam, I think the worst part about threads like this is not knowing what's actually happening, either with you or with these guys who are rejecting you. If I were in your situation, I think I would wish for a wingman/woman, someone who could come along and see what happened, or someone I could role-play with and get their feedback.

I'm sorry you're going through this alone. Hugs.

Yeah I think that's part of the problem. I don't have anyone to help.

I've got the friend who says I'll just magically find someone if I stop looking.

I've got the friend who thinks someone likes me, but has no idea why he hasn't asked me out.

I've got other friends who are just as single and clueless as me.

Can I say something really stupid? But it worked for me. I'm trying to train myself to NT mannerisms, which make my life easier. Here's one: smile. I know. How many times have people said that? But when I undertook to smile, I realized I had never practiced smiling in a mirror, which I think teens do. I'm retirement age. Anyway, I practiced smiling in a mirror and saw that I didn't know how. It has to be that your teeth show. And I had to learn to lift my upper lip.

Then I had to go out and do it to people. What an undertaking! But it worked. People were so much nicer.

So I give you the only suggestion I can, while I hope that things will be better for you soon.

I think I’m desperate enough at this point I’d gladly forfeit my life in exchange for a chance to make you less lonely for a day, or an hour, or a minute, only to die in horrifying, long-drawn-out pain when the time is over. It’d be worth it to me. This probably speaks volumes about how ridiculously unfit I am for the task, however.

mee too.

That's a ridiculous thing for your friend to say. I never had a relationship or a date without actively looking and actively engaging with them.Spiderpig, surely your life isn't that bad.That is very good advice.

The whole stop looking and your find someone is touted a lot here too.

Really means shut up and stop bumming me out with your life

Yeah, if you were looking for a job would you make no effort at all to speak to prospective employers?

I am confident, esp. bc you are female, that there is a male who would welcome a relationship with you.
So it's really wanting to be in a relationship with someone you find acceptable.
You don't have to be alone, but how much do you have to lower your standards?

If you have to lower your standards, then by definition you’re better off staying single. As a bonus, you’ll have the comfort of knowing others aren’t good enough for you, rather than vice-versa.

Aah that old trope

Quit saying it's easier for women. It's hard for us all.