Express your pain in the form of music

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Even when I was angry with Tsion, this song still summed up how I felt more than anything. I kind of wish I could have told her, but I'm also relieved I never did since it wouldn't have changed s**t and just would have felt like a pointless loss of face.

Always good for a rant.

This song definitely reaches deep into my soul. I've included the lyrics.

Vnv Nation ---"Illusion"
I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand, please don't cry now
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Being like you are, well, this is something else
Who would comprehend? But some that do lay claim
Divine purpose blesses them, that's not what I believe
And it doesn't matter anyway
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last but I'm still not sure
But what I do know is to us the world is different
As we are to the world, I guess you would know that
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion, trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you
Source: LyricFind

This song also tears right through me because I can actually feel the song...

Suicidal Tendencies "How Will I Laugh Tomorrow When I Can't Even Smile Today"

Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all
Always an emotion, but how can I explain
How can I explain
Kind of like the scent of a rose
With words I can't explain
The same with my pain
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head
Goes over my head
Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
Am I living or am I dead
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
So few good-So many bad
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see
Love and peace flash through my mind
Pain and hate are all I find
Find no hope in nothing new
Never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony
Through my eyes that's all I see
If I'm gonna cry
Will you wipe away my tears?
If I'm gonna die
Lord please take away my fear
Before I drown in sorrow
Last thing that I'll say
How will I laugh tomorrow
If I can't even smile today
Today today, when I can't even smile today
Today today, when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today

This song seems to speak to me, too. Pain is not always silent, though some will attempt to silence it. And true beauty often comes from the places seldom searched----- I'm not the only one who feels pain or a sense of not belonging. Many people do. Too bad we "weirdos" can't all find each other and not feel alone or discarded...

BTW, I actually created this video and dedicated it to a local homeless woman I admire for refusing to fall down and away, or disappear from people's sight, despite her overwhelming odds. I haven't seen her in a long time, though... she was on the elderly and stoic side and didn't want pity or handouts. Maybe she found a place to call home... People looked down at her, even people who considered themselves caring and giving. But much like the beautiful yellow
dandelion that doesn't realize that it is considered a weed to many, she always stood tall and persisted. And why not? Because doesn't she matter, too?

Warrior Soul--- "The Losers"

Have you ever wanted To besomeone you´re not
But you look into the world And you see what you´ve got
There´s nothin´ there But brains and guts
Finally open the door And then it shuts
Look to the center And i´ll think you´ll find
The people that are gettin´ They are blind
You changed the channel And there´s nothin´ there
You weren´t born pretty And it isn´t fair...
Here´s to the losers
The substance abusers
To the rejects
All the imperfects
´Cause i think we´re beatiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
No matter what anyone says
I think we´re beautiful
The most beautiful in the world
You try for jobs But they say you´re strange
You´re sportin´ a style That they call pain
So you get in trouble And your brain is gone
You´re cryin´ out man But the words are wrong
Here´s to the losers
The substance abusers
To the rejects
All the imperfects
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
No matter what anyone says
I think we´re beautiful
The most beautiful in the world
I know you´re tierd Of being put down
And all the crap that´s said in town But you´re a person thatmatters most
I raise my glass, And make a toast
Here´s to the losers
Substance abusers
To the rejects
All the imperfects
To the ret*d
And the broken-hearted
To the starving masses
And the lower classes
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
´Cause i think we´re beautiful
No matter what anyone says
I Think we´re beautiful

I've seen dark before, but not like this
This is cold, this is empty, this is numb
The life I knew is over, the lights are out
Hello, darkness, I'm ready to succumb
I follow you around, I always have
But you've gone to a place I cannot find
This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing
Can there be a day beyond this night?
I don't know anymore what is true
I can't find my direction, I'm all alone
The only star that guided me was you
How to rise from the floor?
But it's not you I'm rising for
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing
I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath, this next step
This next choice is one that I can make
So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And, with it done, what comes then?
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again
Then I'll make the choice to hear that voice
And do the next right thing






I chose this song Because in my life I’ve gone through so many hardships and felt like it never going to end.
I delt with ignorance bullying biases abuse as well as other things and going to hospital several times

And the time that changed me forever I was abused/ assaulted the first time I went to a mental hospital it’s a long story I believe I posted in a long time ago




The lyrics that especially speak to me are

This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AZPI_hxDGc

This one...

For a long time, this was my personal theme song...



... then I grew up and got over it.