"You need to listen to the struggles of others!"

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Marknis
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05 Jun 2018, 3:39 am

AquaineBay wrote:
Marknis wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
Marknis wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Mark has to explore where he got the idea that all these people don't want him to have a girlfriend.


I was told constantly growing up by various people "You don't need a girlfriend!", "You're never getting laid!", "You'd be a terrible father!", "You need to wait until college!", and other damning statements.

The same people, especially the men, also dated even when they said things like "Women are trouble!" to me. The message I got was that it's ok for them to date while it's not ok for me.


"You're never getting laid!" and "You'd make a terrible father!" are pretty mean. I would just ignore those, what do other people know what's going to happen to you or what you will be. Waiting until college isn't really a bad thing, some benefit from doing that. With college and not needing a girlfriend, are you sure they were being mean? Maybe they were trying to tell you to concentrate on other things.


Yes, those two first statements were indeed mean. I think they were being mean with the other statements as well because they just said those things and didn't elaborate on them.


Well I know sometimes I misunderstand what peoples intentions are. It could have been possible you could have misunderstood theirs.


Their voice tones would sound harsh when they say those things.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2018, 6:36 am

You ever thought these people just want to be a**holes?



Fnord
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05 Jun 2018, 8:03 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You ever thought these people just want to be a**holes?
To whom are you referring?

No one 'wants' to be an 'a**hole'; but it would surely beat being an enabler.

:?


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kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2018, 9:36 am

I was referring to those people who tell Mark that he's not "marriage material" or whatever.

Especially if they really know the guy---especially if they only know him as some guy on the Internet.

I would bet that, in real life, Mark is actually a really competent guy.

It's almost like WP might be a sort of "release" for him.



Marknis
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05 Jun 2018, 10:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I was referring to those people who tell Mark that he's not "marriage material" or whatever.

Especially if they really know the guy---especially if they only know him as some guy on the Internet.

I would bet that, in real life, Mark is actually a really competent guy.

It's almost like WP might be a sort of "release" for him.


I just don't know how to come to terms with turning 30 and still being single. I've actually had some people tell me I needed to wait until then and I wanted to prove them wrong but my efforts didn't get me anywhere.



goldfish21
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05 Jun 2018, 2:15 pm

Marknis wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Mark has to explore where he got the idea that all these people don't want him to have a girlfriend.


He's going to have to do some serious Psychonauting to dive into his head and figure it out.. because no one here has ever posted those words.

Image

At least it'll be a fun & enlightening process filled with wonderful thoughts and beautiful images! :D


:roll:

I just explained why I feel the way I fo at the top of this page and I didn't just mean the people on this forum.

I thought you would've finally gotten a hint when Booyakasha told you to stop replying to me. Even if I do get better, I won't ever give you any credit and I will still hate you. I'd rather die than be your friend.

Fnord wrote:

I very strongly suggest that you stop blaming others and look toward improving yourself; stop lying about what other people say and do, and be more concerned about your own words and actions; and stop making excuses as to why the advice you've been given can not / could not / would not work for you -- it's good advice, given by people who were once in similar situations as yours, from which they extricated themselves, and the lessons of which they are more than willing to share with you.

Take it or leave it -- the choice is YOURS and YOURS alone; thus the credit for success and the blame for failure will also be YOURS and YOURS alone.


And I strongly suggest you quit making assumptions about my life. People have indeed told me harmful things. That isn't lying, that is reciting memories.


You ignore anyone who gives you advice you need to hear but don't particularly like because it involves you taking personal responsibility for yourself and/or doing the hard work required to change and improve yourself in order to get what you want instead of just sympathy or someone telling you that you should magically be able to have what it is you want without having to earn it.

I don't really care if you ever consider me a friend or not, tbh. I don't surround myself with horribly negative people that lie about other people.

No one here has written the things to you that you keep saying they did. That's the problem and what we're calling you out for. You're lying when you say Fnord (or insert any forum members name) doesn't want you to have a girlfriend, and that is not okay. Why are you making these things up and posting them? Is it just to create hostility? Is it to reinforce your distorted views? Do you somehow actually believe that anyone here has ever said/written those things? Please, quote him or anyone as having ever said such a thing here if I'm incorrect - but I do not believe I am, and thus calling you out for lying about other members here is completely justified.


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goldfish21
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05 Jun 2018, 2:22 pm

Marknis wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I was referring to those people who tell Mark that he's not "marriage material" or whatever.

Especially if they really know the guy---especially if they only know him as some guy on the Internet.

I would bet that, in real life, Mark is actually a really competent guy.

It's almost like WP might be a sort of "release" for him.


I just don't know how to come to terms with turning 30 and still being single. I've actually had some people tell me I needed to wait until then and I wanted to prove them wrong but my efforts didn't get me anywhere.


Then why don't you consider redirecting your efforts?

It's not for lack of effort that you've come up short on your goal.

It's for lack of effort in the right direction.

This is why many people here have told you to focus on improving yourself. Get your headspace clear & your body into good physical shape via diet & exercise and over time you'll become more attractive to others. Many here have done the very same thing and know it to be true. Hell, I'm not even trying to attract girls and they hit on me all the time. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out that getting into good physical shape is about the most sure fire way to attract girls. I'm no Olympic athlete, but I'm in pretty good shape, and all sorts of girls I have no interest in being with hit on me at the beach all the time. They certainly didn't pay me this sort of attention when I was fat and out of shape. Change yourself, change others' reactions to you. It really is that simple. It requires time, effort, discipline, and hard work, but.. it pays off. Either you actually want a girlfriend and are willing to do the hard work it takes to make yourself attractive to them, or you don't and you just want to complain about it forever and ever because that's your jam. It's only you that can decide which you want - it's your life to live, Marknis.


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Fnord
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05 Jun 2018, 4:46 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
You ignore anyone who gives you advice you need to hear but don't particularly like because it involves you taking personal responsibility for yourself and/or doing the hard work required to change and improve yourself in order to get what you want instead of just sympathy or someone telling you that you should magically be able to have what it is you want without having to earn it.

I don't really care if you ever consider me a friend or not, tbh. I don't surround myself with horribly negative people that lie about other people.

No one here has written the things to you that you keep saying they did. That's the problem and what we're calling you out for. You're lying when you say Fnord (or insert any forum members name) doesn't want you to have a girlfriend, and that is not okay. Why are you making these things up and posting them? Is it just to create hostility? Is it to reinforce your distorted views? Do you somehow actually believe that anyone here has ever said/written those things? Please, quote him or anyone as having ever said such a thing here if I'm incorrect - but I do not believe I am, and thus calling you out for lying about other members here is completely justified.
Thank you, GF. Your insightful support really means a lot.

I doubt that we'll get any valid citations. We're more likely to see more of the same -- expressions of self-pity, false accusations, and general hostility toward anyone who offers practical advice. We've seen others display similar behavior before. Eric Berne wrote about it in "Games People Play". The game is called "Why Don’t You – Yes But"...
Eric Berne, M.D. wrote:
The following example will serve to illustrate its main characteristics:

White: "My husband always insists on doing our own repairs, and he never builds anything right."
Black: "Why doesn’t he take a course in carpentry?"
White: "Yes, but he doesn’t have time."
Blue: "Why don’t you buy him some good tools?"
White: "Yes, but he doesn’t know how to use them."
Red: "Why don’t you have your building done by a carpenter?
White: "Yes, but that would cost too much."
Brown" "Why don’t you just accept what he does the way he does it?"
White: "Yes, but the whole thing might fall down."
This may be followed by the games of "Wooden Leg", "Kick Me", "Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B.", or "See What You Made Me Do".

Care to take a guess as to which game gets played next?


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XFilesGeek
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06 Jun 2018, 3:21 pm

Alrighty,

Thread has gone on long enough.


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