What stops you from committing suicide?

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Mountain Goat
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19 May 2019, 11:38 am

Teach51 wrote:

Mountain Goat wrote:

My Mum as she would fall to pieces, my Brothers and all my brothers children and God, as He has things for me to do. Also, my future wife. I don't have a clue who she is, but she would be so lonely without me being there. I know what it is to long for ones opposite half to come along, as I have been patiently waiting for most of my life.

There. If it wasn't for those reasons... I have actually partly tried two and a half times when I wasn't really thinking straight due to a combination of fatigue and an ex girlfriend who stopped dating without warning. I blamed myself. (I later found out she was dating others even when we were making plans to get married, which had come from her as I wanted to date a bit longer to be sure as she was my first girlfriend and it was a little more complicated then that. I was dating her for what seemed like ages. About four months. It was intense though I was saving sex for marriage. Then one day she had another solicitors appointment. I didn't know what was going on. I had called in when she was in the solicitors which to get there was an hours drive away if I drove quickly down all the windy mountainous roads (They often hold the car rallying in Wales on the exact roads). Her sister was there and I asked why a solicitor. She said "She is getting divorce". She saw my face in shock and said " Didn't you know she was married?" I was intending to end it there but I was so in love with her. So I decided to return and ask what had happened. She said they met (I once had seen the man as he was working where I was, and assumed he was her boyfriend as they kissed, and then she was with another, who funnily enough was texting and phoning her while we were dating as the poor guy had suddenly found she cut contact with her. He apologised to me later when he saw me as he was at a different depot. A nice young man. Well, she said her ex.husband left her six months into the marriage. Stupidly I continued dating as I assumed her ex. had been off with another.
Well. Her mum was very weird. Several times her mum asked me to come into her bedroom to see the new cupboards. I would look and... Well. To tell you the truth, I don't do hints and I don't really notice clothes. I mean... She was dressed in some flirty undergarments. She was covered up so I didn't say anything. Looked at the cupboards, and said something nice about them and went back downstairs. Then this happened again and I thought why does she want me to look at the cupboards. They are the same cupboards. She was wearing something different but not a lot. I said they were nice cupboards and went back downstairs. Then again after time had passed she asked me to look where I said "I have seen the cupboards before". I just didn't catch on until months after the gf had ceased all contact. Her dad was a lorry driver and so he was away for most of the week and her mum was just plain weird and ever their gran who lived with them was a little different though she seemed OK and kind.
Looking back. What an odd family! It was only looking back on all the goings on where I put the pieces together to get the jigsaw. And the gf had actually dated two people the same time as me and I just thought one was a lodger (She said that to me) and he was looking at me strangely when I hugged her while her grandmother, a dressmaker by trade was making a wedding dress for her to marry me when her devorce came through.
Didn't I have a lucky escape both from suicide (As I didn't know what was going on so was blaming myself as she ceased all contact and had not said it was over) and from her and her family!

An extremely lucky escape Mountain Goat!

The image of your ex girlfriend's mother prancing around in her undies trying to seduce you is both amusing and very poignant. No wonder your ex was a head case with such a mother that would try to steal you away, regardless of the fact that you wanted to abstain from sex before marriage. You are well rid of that my friend!!
I was married to a criminal sociopath for many years. I also am blind to manipulation and deceit because I am so honest myself, I am improving in identifying them though. .Crazy people can prey on our goodness and naivety and do our heads in. I have considered suicide at times when I was younger but I finally reached the conclusion that distancing myself from toxic, manipulating people, whatever their connection to me is, is better than ending my own life. I just control my environment and keep it positive. It's horrifying to think that on an impulse my wounded, despairing ego would seduce me into doing something so drastic. Usually the things that drove me to the edge are resolved eventually one way or another, or over time lose their power over me.

My son and grandchildren would be destroyed if I ever harmed myself. I would look a bit of a wally because I always encourage them to be positive and not care about social demands or public opinion, but to live according to their own values.

I am not sure of the protocol on this thread, is it okay to relate directly to someone's post? If not, I apologise.

You are a gem. It is nice to hear a positive approach. I often get a bit negative and then I think "I need to chage". Sometimes I have gone out of the way to try to be positive like saying "A nice sunny day" when outside is cold and raining and others think I'm mad. I like rainy days becuse the nice places like beaches and castles to visit are almost empty so I am happy to visit them, as I don't really want to go to places when they are busy.

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losingit1973
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19 May 2019, 11:54 am

Fear of failure.

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Daniel89
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19 May 2019, 11:56 am

Surviving. That is what happened the last time and now I am disabled and my life is much worse. I would hate to end up in some institution.

Alterity
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19 May 2019, 4:30 pm

Responsibilities, those that I love, not wanting to cause the same pain I've felt, not wanting to be a suicide within families statistic.

When those I love are gone(My mom, my cats, especially my horse), I'm not sure what will happen to/with me. I've tried to build more, to find something else sustainable that gives me a feeling of purpose and source of beauty in this world. I haven't been able to.

So for now it's just what I aforementioned.

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shortfatbalduglyman
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19 May 2019, 4:51 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:

I wouldn't dare say this to my psychiatrist, but I've had suicidal "ideation" several times a week from the onset of puberty till now (age 55). Though I've made no serious attempt, I did in my younger days often intentionally put myself in hazardous situations in which my survival was a toss-up. I'm actually glad I haven't lived in the US for 18 years, as the legal and relatively painless recourse to a gun would make things far too easy.

But in answer to your question: For the past 12 years, my kids. I've had some very black, bitter times, but I'm not about to abandon and damage them.

Benjamin

A psychologist told me that he wanted to physically assault the president.

He acted like he wanted me to say "yeah I wanna perform likewise". And 5150

Baiting

:roll:

Some counselors act like the correct answer to "how are you doing" is "perfect". All other answers are wrong and the punishment for a wrong answer is 5150

Having said that , if you have had :skull:

suicidal ideation :nerdy:

for as many years as you wrote, and have not taken action, then it doesn't sound like you are at risk of committing suicide right now

But I am just a stranger on the internet

Certainly the psychologist would send you to 5150

They don’t usually forcibly commit a person unless that person has a plan in mind - a specific method of committing suicide.

"Usually"? That's what a psychologist told me.

But I am extremely careful to not go anywhere near the subject, of suicide

"Miscommunications" occur

Anyway I asked a counseling intern. If the counselor calls 5150 on me because I caused a "miscommunication" that sounded like a mandated reporter violation , but wasn't, how do I prove to the medics (or whoever) that I didn't violate the mandated reporter law?

Answer:. You can't take a videotape. HIPAA violation

In any case, suicidal ideation should be taken seriously.

So many things "should be taken seriously". "Should", "can", and "will" are all different things

"Taken seriously" by whom?

It’s not a pleasant way to kno live and it could lead to something worse.

Plenty of things are not "pleasant"

Plenty of things "could lead to something worse"

I hope you can find some peace and contentment Benjamin. Don’t be afraid to be more open and reach out for more help if you need it.

QuietOne1989
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19 May 2019, 7:35 pm

1. My husband
2. My younger brother and sister
3. Fear of ending my life
4. Music
5. My love of writing
6. Books.
7. Sleeping (my number one coping mechanism)

Ever since I was a teen I have had suicidal ideation. The root cause of it came from losing someone I loved dearly. The thought of suicide is always with me but the frequency differs from day to day. My husband has recently told me he is suffering from depression but he doesn't talk about his thoughts to anyone while I am pretty vocal about mine in general. I asked him why this was and he said if he ever told anybody he'd be sectioned which worries me. I was a self-harmer up until three years ago when I stopped.

shortfatbalduglyman
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19 May 2019, 8:05 pm

Some people try and fail to commit suicide

If you don't believe me, look it up

Then they get injuries

Exuvian
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19 May 2019, 8:23 pm

My mom, because she already lost her parents and husband.
Me, when I realize waiting for good moments or even enduring bad moments is more interesting than nothingness.
Also realizing that failing at it could be very very painful/expensive and make things even worse.

Redxk
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20 May 2019, 1:26 am

My wife and son.

mr_bigmouth_502
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20 May 2019, 4:35 am

My friends, my family, and the base pleasures of life. I don't know what's on the other side, but I know what I have here so I'm gonna stick to it, even if it does kinda suck sometimes.

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shortfatbalduglyman
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20 May 2019, 5:30 am

To everyone that listed friends and family

Sooner or later, everyone will drop dead

After they die, then what?

What if they dump you?

Some precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me that , he knew he cared about me because "if you die, I would be sad"

Everyone is going to die

Question is, him first or me first

If me first, how does he find out

Not unless it's on the news headlines

Besides I have not died yet

"Sad" is just an emotion

He doesn't know how he is going to react to my death, because I haven't died yet

Besides "sad" is just an emotion

There are only five emotions

"Sad" is not a catastrophe

f**k Dylan

Manipulative lil dips**t

:roll:

Claradoon
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23 May 2019, 8:27 am

Ack!
I could have answered what prevents suicide - my cat. I can't abandon her.
But to ask me what I love about life? Sorry, nothing at all. It's been that way for years and I'm still here, not going anywhere.

shortfatbalduglyman
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23 May 2019, 8:47 am

Failure could result in $$$ medical bills

That's the only reason

Many people that try, fail

They have injuries

But I have been, obsessed with suicide since age 12 and I am 36

On the other hand :twisted: , if I have not committed suicide yet, then it's like whatever

12
Bullying
SAT precious lil "parents"
Puberty

When I was 21, desperately wanted suicide

Structural engineering
Homophobia
Autism

Right now it's like , whatever

I am not glad that I did not commit suicide

Not unless the goal is to have as many people as possible alive for, as long as possible

My "life" will only get worse

Conditions

Many things could make my "life" worse

Immediately permanently drastically

Example:. Run over by car, crime, disease, jail,

And they are pretty common

:twisted: subject to imagination

Things that could make my "life" better:

Can't think of anything

36 is going downhill

Health, $$, friends rapidly getting worse

And they were never great to begin with

:mrgreen:

Maybe tomorrow someone will "help" me by shooting me with a gun

Exuvian
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23 May 2019, 5:27 pm

Claradoon wrote:

Nothing? Did you forget about your cat already? Or did you mean you don't even love your cat and only hang around out of duty to her?

Exuvian
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23 May 2019, 6:05 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

Things that could make my "life" better:

Can't think of anything

What about an interesting hobby, a pet (dog, cat, etc.), money or something?
Imagination is free and even tiny things can make a difference.

Claradoon
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23 May 2019, 6:46 pm

Exuvian wrote:

Claradoon wrote:

Nothing? Did you forget about your cat already? Or did you mean you don't even love your cat and only hang around out of duty to her?

See? This is the kind of conversation that makes me want to kick the bucket.

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