Younger cousin getting married

Post Reply New Topic

It's possible to be fabulous irritable parent. I am also irritable around children. Even so, my kids say that overall I am a great parent. Before kids, when utterly depressed, I asked a support person, if I feel like THIS now ("stuck at crossroads") then how in the heck if am I going to Parent? And she said: you'll do what you have to do. She was right (and I've devoured parenting books and classes).



BTDT. I actually hesitated in writing it b/c I know that feeling. Near the end of an especially grueling 8-year "journey" I was fairly hopeless but kept putting one foot in front of the other (the "Confidence Gap" calls that confidence -fear, commitment and act). Amazingly that journey did end (and well). And now I am on another journey --at another crossroads (this time for two years). I feel stuck also, but I have been moving forward, just not in a traditional way. I definitely have fear, now to make commitments that will move me in a particular direction and act on those. Results are not all in my control, but they are more so now than they were a decade ago.

I think the trick is to be patient (enough) and kind (enough) with the circumstances and ourselves, as we put one foot in front of the other - we'll get somewhere. The real outcome is Acceptance, and it comes it its own good time.

Is it really so bad to be the odd one out? Go and find a positive way to be the oddball... instead of being the black sheep, become the purple sheep!

Or yellow. Or red. Or whichever color your prefer, though I personally wouldn't recommend orange.

I'm a polka-dotted sheep

Argh, I didn't remember that was an option, too!

Perhaps Markins is a sheep of red and blue puzzle pieces?

I don’t mind being around my younger brother and his wife but when my older brother and his wife are around as well, it becomes distressing for me. It feels unfair how all of my siblings have romantic successes while I can’t even get my foot in the club so to say.

Congratulations to your cousin.

Are you white and blue since you’re Finnish?

More like green and blue but I suppose I can try red.

I was thinking more of just blue since I mostly dress in blue, but I suppose white and blue works too since I'm so pale.

White and blue----especially a lighter sort of blue----are very pleasant colors.

I think a lot of people here (myself included) actually agree with this. If you don't have above-average social skills (good looks alone are not enough), you're not particularly adept at reading body language and can tell if a woman is (subtly) showing interest in you, you shouldn't try to approach them.

For those who don't have thick skin, one of the best ways of minimising rejection is to NOT approach complete strangers or people who show obvious signs of not being interested or wanting to be generally left alone.

I haven't "randomly approached somebody in the street" in a long time.

I used to do it on the subway. Most women were bemused by my approaches. One day, I even wrote poems and gave them to women on the subway. Most reaction was, again, bemusement.

This was in 1986. They only had Walkmans then as something that one can use with earplugs.

It's much more difficult to do this nowadays-----because many women have earplugs and phones which they use----so that men don't approach them, as well as for their own entertainment.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 Oct 2019, 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

^This.

People who are traumatized by rejection might be better off accepting their singlehood and getting on with their lives.

^
That, or rethinking their POV and strategy. The Grand Inquisitor usually comes across as fairly lucid about his situation and willing to make changes.

Please don't drag me into this.

Last edited by BenderRodriguez on 23 Oct 2019, 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No worries, mate.

Sorry, we were posting at the same time - it was Marknis that quoted me, not you!

I edited for clarification.