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Steve1963
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05 Sep 2021, 5:31 am

Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
lostproperty wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
it's the fear of the unknown that bothers me most.


That was my biggest problem. Other than a death in the family, there's probably nothing worse than separation for placing uncertainty at the very forefront of your mind 24/7. You just have to trust that things will settle down and work themselves out. There's obvious benefits to being in a relationship but there are a lot of problems that go with it also, I've come to appreciate life becoming much easier in many respects.

Yeah. Uncertainty. This morning my wife professed to being angry with me (understandably under the circumstances). It makes me wonder if we'll still be friends...or just wind up being co-parents who are uncomfortable being around each other. I know this will take time...I just wish I knew how it is all going to turn out.


I may have missed it.
Are you saying it was *you* who initiated the separation?

It was mutual. Mostly her, but I agreed 100% with all her reasons. I don't want to go into the reasons. :)



Pepe
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05 Sep 2021, 10:00 pm

Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I gather you aren't a pet person?

I love cats. More than people. But this place has a 'no pets' policy. Besides, I'd feel like I was betraying the two cats I left behind at my old place. :)


Do you plan on staying there?
I signed a one year lease. So I'll be here for at least that long. I'm still hoping there's a chance that my wife and I can reconcile.


That is rather normal, I believe. 8)



Pepe
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05 Sep 2021, 10:03 pm

Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
Good morning, Steve. Please let us know how you are doing. :heart:

The first night went surprisingly well. I managed to get 9 /2 hours of sleep...which is a ridiculous amount by my standards. I think I expected more noise from the other tenants but that was not the case. I have a pretty full Saturday...getting settled...grocery shopping...AA meeting...maybe a haircut :)

So overall it's been an excellent start to the new normal...


Good to see. :thumright:
I gather you had considerable time to adjust to the possibility of separation?

We've been having marital issues for a while. Still, I don't think anyone is ever prepared for the actual separation.


Separating from a long term life partner is brutal, I imagine.
I have heard people who have been in this situation say this.



Pepe
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05 Sep 2021, 10:04 pm

Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
lostproperty wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
it's the fear of the unknown that bothers me most.


That was my biggest problem. Other than a death in the family, there's probably nothing worse than separation for placing uncertainty at the very forefront of your mind 24/7. You just have to trust that things will settle down and work themselves out. There's obvious benefits to being in a relationship but there are a lot of problems that go with it also, I've come to appreciate life becoming much easier in many respects.

Yeah. Uncertainty. This morning my wife professed to being angry with me (understandably under the circumstances). It makes me wonder if we'll still be friends...or just wind up being co-parents who are uncomfortable being around each other. I know this will take time...I just wish I knew how it is all going to turn out.


I may have missed it.
Are you saying it was *you* who initiated the separation?

It was mutual. Mostly her, but I agreed 100% with all her reasons. I don't want to go into the reasons. :)


Could you explain, to everyone here, why not? :P [joke] :mrgreen:



Steve1963
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06 Sep 2021, 4:05 am

Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
lostproperty wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
it's the fear of the unknown that bothers me most.


That was my biggest problem. Other than a death in the family, there's probably nothing worse than separation for placing uncertainty at the very forefront of your mind 24/7. You just have to trust that things will settle down and work themselves out. There's obvious benefits to being in a relationship but there are a lot of problems that go with it also, I've come to appreciate life becoming much easier in many respects.

Yeah. Uncertainty. This morning my wife professed to being angry with me (understandably under the circumstances). It makes me wonder if we'll still be friends...or just wind up being co-parents who are uncomfortable being around each other. I know this will take time...I just wish I knew how it is all going to turn out.


I may have missed it.
Are you saying it was *you* who initiated the separation?

It was mutual. Mostly her, but I agreed 100% with all her reasons. I don't want to go into the reasons. :)


Could you explain, to everyone here, why not? :P [joke] :mrgreen:


No. :)
I will say that infidelity was NOT the reason.



Pepe
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06 Sep 2021, 7:45 am

Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
lostproperty wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
it's the fear of the unknown that bothers me most.


That was my biggest problem. Other than a death in the family, there's probably nothing worse than separation for placing uncertainty at the very forefront of your mind 24/7. You just have to trust that things will settle down and work themselves out. There's obvious benefits to being in a relationship but there are a lot of problems that go with it also, I've come to appreciate life becoming much easier in many respects.

Yeah. Uncertainty. This morning my wife professed to being angry with me (understandably under the circumstances). It makes me wonder if we'll still be friends...or just wind up being co-parents who are uncomfortable being around each other. I know this will take time...I just wish I knew how it is all going to turn out.


I may have missed it.
Are you saying it was *you* who initiated the separation?

It was mutual. Mostly her, but I agreed 100% with all her reasons. I don't want to go into the reasons. :)


Could you explain, to everyone here, why not? :P [joke] :mrgreen:


No. :)
I will say that infidelity was NOT the reason.


It seriously never entered my mind.
People often simply grow apart.



Steve1963
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06 Sep 2021, 7:48 am

Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
No. :)
I will say that infidelity was NOT the reason.


It seriously never entered my mind.
People often simply grow apart.

You're the first person whose mind it hasn't entered then. :mrgreen:



blazingstar
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06 Sep 2021, 4:13 pm

^ Never occurred to me, either. Not enough bitterness. :-)

How how is it going? I think you were going to visit your children today. Was it weird? I wouldn't be surprised if it were. It may make time for kids to adjust. Different kids may adjust or not adjust differently.


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Steve1963
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06 Sep 2021, 7:51 pm

blazingstar wrote:
^ Never occurred to me, either. Not enough bitterness. :-)

How how is it going? I think you were going to visit your children today. Was it weird? I wouldn't be surprised if it were. It may make time for kids to adjust. Different kids may adjust or not adjust differently.

I visited them yesterday. It was really, really weird. My estranged wife made me very uncomfortable, almost unwelcomed. I guess it's going to take a lot of time. Thanks for checking in. :)



kraftiekortie
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06 Sep 2021, 8:19 pm

It (any infidelity) hasn’t entered my mind, either, as a reason why you two separated.



Pepe
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07 Sep 2021, 4:02 am

Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
No. :)
I will say that infidelity was NOT the reason.


It seriously never entered my mind.
People often simply grow apart.

You're the first person whose mind it hasn't entered then. :mrgreen:


I *really* didn't consider it.
Odd.



Pepe
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07 Sep 2021, 4:03 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It (any infidelity) hasn’t entered my mind, either, as a reason why you two separated.


Thank god I am not the only one. 8O



Pepe
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07 Sep 2021, 4:04 am

blazingstar wrote:
^ Never occurred to me, either. Not enough bitterness. :-)

How how is it going? I think you were going to visit your children today. Was it weird? I wouldn't be surprised if it were. It may make time for kids to adjust. Different kids may adjust or not adjust differently.


Hattrick! :mrgreen:



Steve1963
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07 Sep 2021, 5:05 am

Fine. I stand corrected.

Today is my first day of work since the move. I work from home, so it's going to take some getting used to the silence of being alone.



FleaOfTheChill
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07 Sep 2021, 7:31 am

Here's hoping the first day back to work goes alright. Can you do something like have a radio playing in the background for some added noise? If you have meetings or something, that might not be doable then, but during solo stuff, that might help?



Steve1963
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07 Sep 2021, 7:34 am

I'm currently listening to music, but it's through laptop speakers and it's actually more annoying than helpful. :) I ordered some real speakers and they should be here Friday. I think that'll help.