Women Talking

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Was this when you were a child, Fnord?

I understand, I had more or less the same thing. I had to be problem-free 24/7, no problems or emotions allowed, or my mum would get angry.

I have an androgynous personality too, and feel my personality / brain are non-binary.
I expect to speak up like anyone else can regardless of gender but I'm learning it doesn't work that way.
In real life people see or know me looking like a woman so they expect me to act like one.
Online I have a female username and avatar so that causes some people to have a prejudice.
I think I was able to say slightly more when my profile said non-binary AND my avatar wasn't a woman.

I wonder what would happen if I had a random non-gendered username and no avatar.
Hmmmm.
I notice people like that tend to get overlooked in conversations.
It's like people don't know which biases to have against them, so they don't interact very much.

There was a TED talk by a trans woman a few years ago, I can't remember her name. Eleanor something? She said she is treated vastly differently as a woman than she was treated as a man.

e.g. she went on an aeroplane journey and a man was sitting in her booked seat. She politely asked him to move and he was very rude to her. She said she had that experience when she was a man and the interloper moved with no comment.

She had more examples but I can't remember them now. She said it was very interesting how people's attitudes changed according to her gender.

Discrimination against females is definitely still an issue, even today.

Yeah, I had the same experience.

That experience as a child that we've all been through made me determined not to treat my own child like that. She is allowed to show whatever emotions she wants and we talk about it. Hopefully that helps her. She certainly knows herself better than I did at that age and is more confident. She's had meltdowns all her life, we dealt with them and moved on. It was no problem, I didn't take them personally.

I'm sure that applies to the other parents here too.

The only thing worse than childhood is being treated as a child while an adult.  Or maybe it's only just as bad.

Oh, my god. I suggested that a certain politician should be called a drama king instead of queen because he very obviously is a straight cisgender male, but several people reacted with shock/derision and shot me down. Sure; men don't deserve to be called out as emotionally needy attention-seekers, over-reactors, or relationship saboteurs because...they're not women.

Boys and men (like all humans!) absolutely deserve and need to express the full range of human emotions, but as long as so many people continue to insist that emotions (whether considered "good" or "bad," which itself is messed up) are the realm of the female, no one wins.

Yes, Kim, I agree. People say 'women are too emotional, unlike men.'

What about men watching or playing sport? They are obviously getting emotional then. And it's just sport, it's not real life. What a strange thing to get emotional about.

And isn't it hormones that make men get really angry and get into fights? Testosterone is the hormone causing that, is it not?

People also say, "Men are cold-hearted and unfeeling; unlike women."  People say stupid things.That is a socially acceptable form of emotional expression for men.No stranger than women getting emotional over a bad hair day or seeing another woman wearing the same outfit at a party.No, it's lack of respect -- much like when men accuse women of becoming 'hormonal' every few weeks.Does estrogen cause you to cry uncontrollably?

It's time we put those 'hormonal' stereotypes to rest.

Guess this fellow did not read the title of this thread ... obviating the reason this thread was started.
Almost feels antagonistic ..?
but love the new flag moniker ..did think the Phillipines had a larger than average Christian population ?

Last edited by Jakki on 09 Oct 2023, 11:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've always sort of wondered if that actually happens. Whilst it's a common trope in media, does it actually happen in real life? Personally if it happened to be me I'd think 'Oh hey, I'm fashionable! Nice'. One time in my media class I walked in and this guy was wearing the same shirt as me.

If it ever happened to me, I'd probably find it funny. I can't imagine getting emotional over that or a bad hair day.

Exactly the point I was making! We all have hormones. They do things to us. Women aren't more hormonal than men, and men aren't more hormonal than women.

I think if that happens, it's definitely an NT thing. I rarely notice what anyone is wearing. If I saw someone in the same outfit as me at a party, I'd think 'oh that's nice.'

I don't think it really does happen though, I think it's an urban myth.

I forgot about this thread!

I miss KitLily!

Just checking in to say I hope everyone is doing well.

I'll have to read back and see what we were on about.