Nico's demise

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I can survive college, I know it
I got 3 B grades in my January exams, better than most of the people there who are at least 1 year older than me.

Glad to hear that, too. I just happened to see your pics you posted, and you do look rather drained, albeit you are also quite photogenic!

Drained?! Oh crikey, I better lighten up a bit
Thanks for saying I'm photogenic

I think it's just the lighting. Though the eyes seemed rather sad, but the bottom one, you looked cheerful enough. I should have clarified. Hehe.

Oh I have lilac walls so that could have "sedated" the atmosphere a bit and my eyes are rather big and expressive, I was trying hard to create a good picture (it took me a while)

I'm glad to hear that!

Nicolas is such an amazing name, a la francais. Nico, of course, is even better. Its so much fun to say. Nee-co nee-co nee-co!! ! Maybe you should change your name. That would keep you cheery til the end of your days. Nicolasha, maybe. Its worth a thought...

I hope things get better for you.

May i recomend omega 3 fatty acids in addition to what you are taking? THey are a natural mood stabilizer. Studies have shown they are low in people who try to kill themselves. you ca buy it pretty cheap in any pharmacy or health food store or over the intenet and they dont interact with meds. fish oil or flax seed oil is equally good.

I like saying Nico too! I sometimes call myself Ni-cola (NEE-COLA) as I think it sounds random and cool Nicolasha sounds quite quirky, I like it

I eat foods that contain omega 3 fatty acids and I think they do make me feel better, but not significantly. I will try to take some fish oil and omega 3 acids like you recommended.

2 things occurring tomorrow that I'm nervous about: I see the crisis team and there's an Oxbridge conference at college. I hope everything goes well

also get refferal for psycologist for Cognitive behavioral therapy to help change your self destructive thougts.. This has been show to be much more effective in the long run than medication alone. medication should never be the one and only form of treatment.

That won't happen, I've had Cognitive behavioural therapy before and it didn't work so there's no point me trying it again.

are sure it just wasnt a problem with the therapist?

also you should be taking a b complex, pschotropics are known to deplete b vitamins. b vitimains are mood elevators.

if you are genuinly bipolar then, you be taking a minimum of 8,000 mgs of fish oil a day, 1200 mgs mixed tocopheral vitamins e, vitamin c 1000m, two multivimins, a good multimineral.
get your thyroid tested, most bipolars have hypothyroidism and good thyroid med acts as mood stablizer. hypothyroidism can cause depression and mood swings.
and no caffeine sugar gluten or casien in your diet.

i recommend going to see a naturapathic practisioner. I see one my self for a host of mental problems what my nd give mes works wonders. A nd/np can do a simple neurotranmitter test to check for any deffeciencies.


Finally i strongly reccomend getting some form of spirituality. Being able to call on your higher power in times of crisis can be really helpful. It will also help find meaning in your life.

I saw 2 therapists, one private and one on the NHS so I think the problem was with the therapy itself. I don't know what kind of help I will be receiving in future but I will let you know tomorrow when I see the crisis team.

Spirituality-wise, I'm an atheist so I don't know what to do in that respect.

Thanks for your kind help, nightbender

try buddhism. budhism makes no claims as to Gods or demons or miracules or anything like that. but i find zen meditation very helpful.

:D I'm thinking of becoming a buddhist. I don't know how to concentrate for meditation though...too freaking high wired.

Meditation can definitely help with concentration; start slow and take small steps. I usually start students off with a breath counting technique that involves breathing in for four seconds, holding the breath for for seconds and exhaling for four seconds.

Traditionally, Vipassana meditation involves focusing on your breathing by counting breaths. Some people can only sit for five or ten while others can sit for thirty or so breaths at first; it gets easier to maintain concentration the more you do it.