Rants

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AAaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

It's so frustrating being angry, when you know you don't have a reason to blame the sourse of your anger!! !! !

Omg, the internal pressure..........

You know what!! !! !! !! ! I'm sick of taking responsability for other peoples emotions. Emotions I don't even know is there. I take responsability for my own emotions and actions!! ! So I expect everyone else to do the f*****g same!! !! !! !! ! I haven't hurt anyone on purpose. I'm sick of feeling that I should isolate myself because I'm such a horrible person that my mere presence is damageing to others. Even supporting people makes me feel that I'm hurting them.

I'm too f****** dumb to live
How did I eff up something that was so obvious in retrospect
gaaaaad i'm so dumb
FML

I'm so disappointed at you. I didn't mind the taboo things you'd like. I somewhat respected for some things you've did and choose but...

Envy? Really? That's your motivation??!



I don't care.. Just get OUT of my life.

And oh, I'm "sorry" for NOT dealing with anxiety!

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I'm sitting here, putting off work, thinking about how much I'll regret later wasting this time and not doing anything with it but dreading the eventual consequences of wasting it and finding that cognitive loop kind of amusing. How can someone be that clever and that stupid at the same time?

You are not crazy. You are you! You are unice and a wonderful soul!

I had a good attempt at killing myself with pills, in the year 2000 funnily enough.

I was depressed, had been for a while and I got angry, rage drove me to do something that I knew I should not do.

DCJ, it's your choice and it always has to be your choice.

Don't make it when you are angry though.

dcj: You're shit-scared because you're rudderless right now, but you will find your path.
Just breathe.
Listen to something calming.
Be gentle with yourself.

Okay...

It looks like I am kinda of stuck anyway...

And by the way will probably have to pay for that key

WHERE IN THE KEY IS MY KEY CARD

Okay I found it...

And I calm down and I thought about it.

And I thought about all the f****d up s**t.

And thought about the loving support.

And I thought about autism.

And...

f**k it all, I am dead bye

Hmmm.
I do not know what I am doing.
I do not know what I am going to do.

I worry about the future a lot.