Rants

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^ Eh, I've been on anticonvulsants and tramadol once and I'm still alive.
And you pretty much summed up my life in a nutshell above. We should meet and fail together some day.
Right now I am sitting in the parking lot, forced out of actually working at adult education class because someone insists on sitting in the classroom eating incredibly loudly with her mouth open and SUCKING on a drink bottle and because of misophonia I'm forced out of the room & unable to work because I cannot stand the noise.
And you can't SAY anything to her either, because she's intellectually disabled. Well guess what, autism is a disability too, and her doing that makes me unable to work with my auditory processing problems. But that doesn't matter apparently. I'm forced out into the carpark to rant about it here until she finishes masticating her food at an incredible volume before I'm allowed to actually do my work.
Yes I'm bad tempered. I've been an inch from total rage since the last car accident. I cannot tolerate other people right now.

It's the "whatever" I mixed it with that's spinning me out.

Meh.
I'll sign the voices in my head to you, how's that?

Do you know the sign for "not my problem?"
I use that one a lot.

Basically translates as "I don't give a f**k".

Pissing people off?
*don't give a f**k.
Oh, you don't know what that sign means?
This one?
*don't give a f**k.

A very satisfying sign.

^ I know the signs for "piss off" and "not my responsibility," does that count?

^ That'll do.

I don't know why I bother. I always get the worst outcome. Not the worst one I imagined. I could have never have imagined this. I should be scared to death but I'm so over living this cursed life I don't care anymore.

I'm not pissed. I'VE JUST BEEN RUNNING AROUND NONSTOP FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.

I'm not pissed at all!

I hate drawing so much, it's boring and tedious and there's looots of issues I have with that class. It's also way too long.

I won't lie.
Reading some of the "problems" people have here really f*****g s**ts me sometimes.
Oh, people aren't accepting your little quirks?
Poor thing.
Let's swap.
I realise this makes me...what?
A s**t person?
Perspective is a b***h.

Trying not to get bitter is trying.

Am I allowed to be bitter?
I don't know.
Trying not to be.
But, s**t.
I doubt anyone can imagine what I'm feeling.
And I can't describe it anyway.
Seems better to be angry at something right now than being horribly f*****g depressed.
But I'm not even really angry.
Don't know what I feel.
Mildly pissed?
Bit pathetic.
I'm sure this is not how I should feel.
What the f**k is wrong with me?
Besides the obvious.

What the f**k are you talking about?
Super healthy spiral of light.
You make my palms burn.

^ I'd assume that's pretty normal considering your situation.
But there have got to be some pluses you have in some areas that people with less severe problems don't have in other areas - if that makes sense.
I've had to perspective-check this with myself a lot too. Just because a problem seems trivial to me, it might be the biggest problem that person has ever had in their life, and as much, probably causes them the kind of distress that those from harder backgrounds would feel for their "big" problems.
It's difficult to swing with no empathy and no sense of what anything is like for anyone else, I can tell you. I think it best understood cognitively, as a concept.
Aaaaand I have no idea which posts you're referencing so can't really say. Just a 2c.

Meh.
Just giving my sh***y side an airing.
It was in danger of going mouldy.

I don't feel bad, but just.. nothing. I don't feel anything at all.

I haven't talked to anybody or done anything lately. Honestly just stayed in bed all day.