Any reason at all?

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Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 1:32 am

...lol over-thinking the internet working like crap last night.......nevermind.

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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 07 Feb 2012, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Perfect_Storm
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07 Feb 2012, 4:17 am

rabbittss wrote:

Whoever wrote that never had autism :/

rabbittss
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07 Feb 2012, 7:18 am

hey if you want to be a sad sack about it.. who am I to stop you.

hanyo
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07 Feb 2012, 8:29 am

marshall wrote:

I'm sort of in the same boat in the job department. I don't know if it's my depression or what but I don't think I'll ever be able to tolerate having to pry myself out of bed every day to do something that gives me no joy for 8 hours plus and then come home too tired and depressed to be able to do anything but eat and go to bed. That alone makes me unmotivated to even want to look for a job.

I felt that way the one time I had a part time job. All I did on days that I worked was get up, get ready to go to work, work, go home and get ready for bed, and then sleep. It was depressing and exhausting and by the time I quit I didn't even make enough money to buy the thing I was saving up for. If I hadn't quit when I did I would have had to quit a week later because my friend that also worked there and drove me there quit and it wasn't on the bus line.

Now I can't even think of a place to apply for a job, never mind actually getting hired for one. I have no education except for a ged and no work experience except a paper route when I was 19 and a part time cleaning job when I was in my early 20s. No one is going to want to hire a 36 year old with no education or work history plus I don't even have id which some jobs might want to see before they will hire me.

I'm just lucky that my mother is willing to support me and never kick me out. When she is gone I'll probably end up homeless.

Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 11:28 am

rabbittss wrote:

it lead me to do more research and I found this passage in the Poetic Edda.

Not all sick men are utterly wretched:
Some are blessed with sons,
Some with friends,
some with riches,
Some with worthy works.

70

It is always better to be alive,
The living can keep a cow.
Fire, I saw, warming a wealthy man,
With a cold corpse at his door.

71

The halt can manage a horse,
the handless a flock,
The deaf be a doughty fighter,
To be blind is better than to burn on a pyre:
There is nothing the dead can do.

Whenever I feel depressed, feel worthless, feel as if I have nothing to live for and I'd be better of ending it.. I go back and re-read that and remind myself of that bolded fact. It's a very enlightened view of disability, considering it was written in a time when subsistence farming was the norm. It means everyone plays a part, even if it's completely mundane. You are part of a larger whole, the whole is lessened without your presence. Maybe it won't be as helpful to you as I found it.. but coming across that.. it just put it all into perspective. I've done a lot to bring my life around since I changed my philosophy.

Yeah I guess I figure there is not really anything I can do while alive either......so that's kind of an issue, but I guess I have more options if I'm living rather then dead but the question tends to be are any of those options worth it.

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The_Perfect_Storm
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07 Feb 2012, 11:52 am

rabbittss wrote:

hey if you want to be a sad sack about it.. who am I to stop you.

A sad sack? Wtf? Okay.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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07 Feb 2012, 12:17 pm

With part-time jobs, there are ways to finesse it. For example,

"My parents have had some health issues."

[in the rare event they ask what]

"Things are better now. Beyond that I'd rather not say."

From their perspect, you are working primarily because you want to, not because you desperately need the money. And that puts the odds more in your favor that they'll treat you as a fellow adult and a middle-of-the-road solid worker.

-----------

With seasonal jobs, I'm kind of surprised how early (some) places start hiring, but others do not. So, I think the way is to pre-ask and back off graciously and matter-of-factly if they don't know when they're going to start.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 07 Feb 2012, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 12:29 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

With part-time jobs, there are ways to finesse it. For example,

"My parents have had some health issues."

[in the rare event they ask what]

"Things are better now. Beyond that I'd rather not say."

From their perspect, you are working primarily because you want to, not because you desperately need the money. And that more puts in the odds in your favor that they'll treat you as a fellow adult and a middle-of-the-road solid worker.

-----------

With seasonal jobs, I'm kind of surprised how early (some) places start hiring, but others do not. So, I think the way is to pre-ask and back off graciously if they don't know when they're going to start.

Well aside from the fact my parents don't have a lot of health issues other then my dad having a screwed up knee, I am not sure what that would pertain to when it comes to getting a part time job. Also my plan is to apply at places I would like working first that way I don't have to try and pretend I want to work at places I would rather not work at.........the issue would be if I cannot find anything that I have any interest in whatsoever because I am not that good at faking.

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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07 Feb 2012, 12:40 pm

It would be a fib.

My issue is that I've invested too much in a job and then have been vulnerable.

Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 1:33 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

It would be a fib.

My issue is that I've invested too much in a job and then have been vulnerable.

Well yeah but what would it pertain to? like what would be the reason to say that........as a reason why I want a job? If so I don't think that would work because if I got the job I would have a hard time pretending my parents aren't divorced and that they need my help, if anything I'm the one who needs the bloody help. But If that's what you meant I get it.....just do a good job at that first impression even if it involves a well placed fib or two it just cannot be the one you suggested because that would be hard to keep up.

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AnnettaMarie
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07 Feb 2012, 1:36 pm

Finding a job is hard in this economy. It might help you to volunteer doing something that you like. That way you can gain current experience, and it goes on your resume! Plus, it's a great way to start getting out there without having to throw yourself headfirst in with the sharks.

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Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 2:07 pm

AnnettaMarie wrote:

I feel like that is time that could be better spent looking for jobs or preparing myself to look for jobs....it can be extremely stressful so it takes a lot more energy then one might think it should. Trying to volunteer on top of that would just be too much and if I can't even feed or house myself I would be in no position to be volunteering unless I want to continue my pattern of neglecting my needs for the benefit of others.

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GamerNerd07901
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07 Feb 2012, 6:56 pm

Im sorry if my previous post sounded apathetic or insulting. I did mean to imply that finding happiness was easy. I know its not. Its just a little difficult to explain this since im still coming to terms with it myself.

What I mean is that you have to have a positive outlook. You don't have to wake up in the morning thinking - im soo happy to be alive-+ but you shouldn't wake up and think. "Great, another sh***y day to suffer through"

Don't blow bad situations out of proportion. Not saying something isn't very bad, but whatever it is, its usually not Quite as bad as the moment you get the news.

Always try to have a .... neutral outlook if not a positive one, and never a negative one

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Sweetleaf
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07 Feb 2012, 7:16 pm

GamerNerd07901 wrote:

Well the trouble is sometimes it's true that its just another crappy day to suffer through, so I cannot delude myself into believing differently. I mean I never know when the PTSD is going to hit and its not so much I blow bad situations out of proportion so much as there seems to be more bad than good in my life so I just get overwhelmed with it.

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rabbittss
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07 Feb 2012, 7:41 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well thats just because the options haven't presented themselves yet. You seem to be an intelligent young woman, who has diverse interests. All I'm saying is, don't give up.

Subotai
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07 Feb 2012, 7:48 pm

Sweetleaf I'm not sure if it would be your answer but I found happiness accidentally through a radical change of environment.
When I'm in North America I am severely depressed like you. It severely warped my psyche and wasted years of my life.
It's not easy and I'm not home free yet, in fact I'm dreading the prospect of failure and having to return home to the point that I would almost rather just die knowing the misery and apathy which awaits.
I hope you discover whatever it is might inspire you, I'm a couple years older than you so time's on your side.
I definitely can relate to your depression.

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