Son driving me nuts

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I think the entire problem with this thread is that the OP wanted to have everyone side with her and say "Poor Namaste" and when that has not happened it brought out her teeth and nails. She is getting advice on how to change and better her life instead of "you poor lady... "

This woman is not ready for positive change in her life. Regardless of culture every human being has emotions, a conscience, remorse, sadness and anger and too many more emotions to list. Who in the world would like a plate thrown at them? Or their neck throttled? NO ONE. NOT EVEN THE OP HERSELF. So it makes not one jot where in this world you reside. I don't care who you are, what age you are and where you are from - someones hands around your neck is going to mess with your head... your confidence and your successes and failures in this life. No matter where you live you can find kind acts and people acting outside the "culturally acceptable" ways... you just have to want to do so. Just because it is culturally acceptable doesn't mean you have to act that way. By the OP's own admission her husband is nice to their son and his parents before him were nice parents - and sadly that apparently makes her sick and intolerant. (shocker! Totally against cultural accepted ways! So point proven just because culture accepts mean and nasty doesn't mean you have to be that way)

The OP has no problems telling her abuse stories and so wants everyone to recognize how she has suffered. Well her childhood is over. She needs to get over it and heal. Her son is suffering at her hands now... That is the current situation and the issue at hand.

I feel for her that she has had such a rough childhood, been forced into marriage and had a child she didn't want. But that is exactly what life has given her... So she can accept the mud she is in and start changing to start building a better life... or she can continue sinking in the mud and continue to be miserable. Those are her choices as I see them.. but apparently these views are unwelcome and anger generating.

Thread unfollowed.

Great. Within the next 20 years, all North American parents will be using the Asian Method with all of their children no matter what their challenges are. I can just see it now and the parents won't care that the young would be taking their own lives.

If you want to excuse your behaviour as "culture", I think of the "asian method" (mostly Japan) which is gaining popularity here in North America.

The parents will scream and hurl insults and abuse, withholding all love and compassion until the child performs up to their insanely high standards (like a perfect score on a test - even a 99% is punishable.)

People are starting to like how it generates high achieving children... but they forget about the other side of the coin, which is that the children are miserable, depressed, and committing suicide in huge numbers.


Your method of ruling like a cruel tyrant is obviously not working - your child doesn't do what you want. As he gets older, he will resist your cruelty even more.


YOU MUST MAKE THE CHANGE. No more excuses.

So from my oppinion its much better to be in a good border school the boy is happy with, then being at home with a mother that simply doesnt love him and cant handle the situation of socially being expected to love and care for the child she hates. But there is no use thinking about it, if there is no loving family around. There simply is no therapy that forces you to love your kid.

Please do not personally attack members based on their viewpoints, it won't make anything better if you attack people for their views. Also it is against forum rules as well. Don't let this thread get out of control or a mod will lock the thread. Please keep this in mind.

Nothing is EVER your fault, is it?

In other news, this thread doesn't fit the criteria of The Haven anymore does it?

yes because it ultimately turned up into personal bashing, humiliation and racist attack thread.

yes because it ultimately turned up into personal bashing, humiliation and racist attack thread.

I think you are sick.
Who told you i beat up my son the moment he enters the house
You think i am some psychotic or what??
I am very nice to him,...i complete his homework, i allow him to play for hours, i am not at all strict with him..
You create anything based on your assumptions.

What knowledge you have about encopresis??? Its caused due to genetic predisposition and not due to my beatings
Without having medical knowledge how can you blame me?
Go and do some research before pointing fingers
http://www.ucanpooptoo.com/about-encopr ... ble-causes

Again, I SEE NO RACISM.

It's just people's separate opinions, and there is NOTHING wrong with that.