I am considering suicide

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Oh my goodness, you have summed up perfectly how other people treat me (as a person with food restrictions) - as a spoilt child!! That is exactly how they treat me, as if I have priviledges or some absolute BS like that. Aren't some people full of shite? Like they think I think I'm special because I get sick from certain kinds of food. Riiiight... So much logic, it makes my brain explode.

I'm sure my stress issues to do with noise made my eczema and allergies worse. The sooner I get away from this the better.

Envirozentinel: Yes, it's very strange how one old lady can make such a racket. I reckon there's someone else who visits her.

WHY are they slamming doors so hard??????? It's driving me CRAZY. I literally jump out of my skin every time it happens. How can people be so selfish? It's like an internal OUCH.

My heart is beating out of my chest. Trying not to hyperventilate. :'(

I can relate quite well to you smudge!

Recently, I went on a corporate retreat with some bigshots (even had our CEO personally reference my ideas in his speech!). I was incredibly nervous on the long drive up, almost like I was driving to a prison to serve a weekend sentence for the first time. Was it because of the bigshots? My ideas being laughed at? Speaking in front of 50 people? No, no and no. It was because people will see the special meals prepared for me.

I have never heard it said to my face, but I am sure my mother heard the 'if you let him starve he WILL eat it' line a hundred times. Mom quickly found out I would literally starve myself to death rather than enough most foods they were THAT intolerable and have the pictures to prove it. It also annoys me when I hear of us being referred to as "attention seekers". That is the most absurd thing: I deeply guard my food restrictions and have become an expert at hiding during meal times at work when I can't eat the food (and loudly showing up in the rare time when I can). Maybe 25 people in real life are aware of any of my restrictions. Bottom line is that I hate being unable to eat most foods and hate the attention it creates.

My new neighbours, like my old ones, deserve to burn.

Burn...

Or be shot.

BANG BANG BANG.

DEAD. GOOD. Bleeding and deteriorating disgusting corpses. I hope they all suffer.

I want to talk to my mother to calm me down, but I don't want to upset her.

I need to calm down. I keep thinking of killing myself. I'm humming a tune to chill out, but I'm scared.

Maybe you need to talk someone. Talking to someone helps to calm me down. Do you have any classical or soothing music that you can play and sing along to? Just something for your brain to focus on.

I have been getting phases of horrendous fear recently. I think the medical term is anxiety but it feels worse than that. I've been trying some anti-anxiety medicine with limited success.

I am very sorry if this is a stupid question but have you (or someone on your behalf) tried telling the old lady tactfully that she slams doors and is noisy and you have sensory problems? I really feel for you.

Even if I had a friend to go out and meet, it would be something. I don't see why anyone would at this hour though on a weekday.

Hey, don't do anything bad to yourself. I don't know you well, but I've spent enough time on this forum to really appreciate your opinion. I think you are a kind and helpful person. Recent world events remind us all how important the kind and helpful people are.

I've had a lot of health problems, and I can only say that life got significantly better once they were gone - it scared me how close to desperation I was, and how I attributed my problems to other things than health.

If you are interested in hearing about vitamin D deficiency, PM me.

I have someone in my life who bludgeons me with health advice. It drives me crazy, but I tune it out and remind myself that this person is doing it because they really care about me. It is a sign of love, although it doesn't always feel like it

How are you this morning?

Sorry you've had to put up with this. You can surely chat to your mom about it without worrying her unduly.

Keep us updated and remember you have friends here on this forum.

maybe have a cup or two of coffee, if it's not one of your food allergies, as folks who drink coffee moderately are less likely to commit suicide. the little emotional lift seems to pay off.

I am so sorry you are feeling down. I so understand the noise issue. The noise of my upstairs neighbors has driven me insane for the last year. Every morning at 6AM, if not earlier, there is thump thump thump on the ceiling, followed by chairs being dragged, then there's some type of ride on car that the kid upstairs uses, then there is the dog crying and crying and crying. I have complained about each and every one of them, the administration does nothing. The stress was so bad that I think because of it I ended up with TN. I can feel that when I am stressed the TN starts up. My only solution has been to turn on my AC in both my bedroom and living room, buy air purifiers to muffle the noise, turn up my music full blast and even then, I can still sometimes hear it. My electric bill is over 500USD a month just because I have to keep these things on NOT because I am hot, but because it is the only thing I can do to muffle the noise. I feel like I am going to go crazy. People are so freaking inconsiderate.

I am thinking about getting some Bluetooth headphones to wear all day at home. My son has some and they have helped him tremendously. His were cheap Sharper Image ones and they work great.

Look up Misophonia and find a support group for that, it might help you a bit and people might have some other strategies to work with it. Honestly, I don't care anymore. I will blast my soft music and if they don't like it, tough.

PS as far as eczema, my son suffered from horrible rashes of eczema all the time, especially on his knees...we found this cream at Sprouts, it came in small tube inside a box and it got rid of it 100%...it is wonderful. I am trying to find the name or a pic online, but I can't find it right now. I will be traveling to the US tomorrow (yes, partly to get away from the noise that has been driving me nuts for months again) and I will take a pic and post it for you. It really worked great. We had tried everything and nothing worked except that.

Good luck!

Thanks again everyone for being so supportive.

I had a MASSIVE meltdown this morning, it was thoroughly horrible. Downstairs kept slamming their doors again, so I did a big jump on the floor. Then the warden (who's picked on me before) came over and knocked on my front door and told me he was told I was "purposely throwing things on the floor", and he insisted that the woman downstairs was "quiet and decent" and he kept saying that. I told him they had been slamming doors (they're doing it at this minute) and he wouldn't listen. I slammed the front .door and screamed at the top of my voice. I kept screaming for an hour and hyperventilating and crying. Then another door slammed and I smashed my mug on the floor and threw a pack of paper across the room. Someone has just knocked on my door. I'm f*****g petrified. I want to die. I can't live here another minute.

I keep thinking of setting light to the place and just dying in its fumes, I'm f*****g crazy now. That warden is thoroughly evil and so are the mother f*****s downstairs.

Tell the neighbor and the warden to go to hell.
And don't set your house on fire.

Could you go and stay with your mother for a couple of days maybe?

Or anywhere else where you could relax a bit to get your momentum back?

Have you tried coming to an amiable agreement with everyone?
"You don't make noise, I don't make noise."