Extermely depressed, +8 month isolation taking toll

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1. Its going the way its suppose to,

Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake. And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.

2. Salvation is a gift and God wants to save the world

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

3. God doesn't expect you to figure it out

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

^^ I've been recommending these two books to anybody who'll listen to me- "multidimensional man" and "vistas of infinity" by jurgen ziewe. also "you cannot die" by dr. ian Stephenson. they will provide some comfort and help you hang on.

Do you know of a place I can get kindle versions of these? I haven't looked on amazon yet but I will.

This is actually the truest thing I have ever read in my life. The broken state of so many people is from the iniquity of others and ourselves, you get such a clear picture of how sin effects the world in this word. This is my favorite part of the entire bible because it explains so much in so few words. Also in the context of the end I misinterpreted this verse when I first read it. It has since been revealed to me that when he says those that endure in the end, he is not referring to surviving the tribulation like I first thought but is instead telling you to protect your heart from turning cold. He is saying that peoples hearts turn cold from the iniquity around them and is saying that if you can love in your heart after a life of pain then you'll be saved. Thats how I take this now.

dcj, you know your bible.

yeh!! everytime I try to read the thing my eyes glaze over and my brain drools.

I have been reading in isolation for a year, I have started in the beginning and have just been reading. I know all about the the different ages and the father of nations. I know about Ismael and I know what people represent Ismael, I can give you a very good idea of who the 12 tribes of Israel are.

I have been studying so much in fact I want to create a family tree and I believe that I can calculate how old the planet is since the time of sin. Bear in mind though, the bible doesn't say how long it took for man to sin. Adam and Eve could have lived on the planet for thousands of years before sinning.

I know that you said you aren't going to try anything anymore, but I don't get it. Haven't you gotten somewhere, in some way? If you really contemplate the good things you've done, don't small kindnesses, or accomplishments with the Bible, or other things come to mind? Do you feel a little better about yourself when you try something each day? The idea is to focus on the fact that you've tried, that you feel better about yourself for trying.

All I see is pain,

Reading is not an accomplishment, you have to have a serious problem to go through childhood and not at the very least recognize a few words. Most illiterate people have dyslexia or something similar, that is not an accomplishment. As for acts of kindness, if anything I did mattered, I would not be alone with everyone hating me. It doesn't matter, nothing matters. I don't have a relationship with anyone, I have a s**t relationship with my family and I imagine most everyone would be happy to not deal with my ass if I was kill myself.

Trying is meaningless if it doesn't yield results, there were good Germans during World War II that tired to stop Hitler, see Von Stauffenberg. Still he failed and no one ever paints any of the German people as good during War World II, his effort has no effect nor does it even save him the retribution and hatred that should lie on his colleagues and colleagues alone.

If there is no results there is no point in effort. The bible doesn't say I can do anything so I am waiting to die basically.

while knowing how to read may not be a big accomplishment to you, actually using the skill and what you pick to read most certainly IS an accomplishment. you are good at writing off anything that makes you look good. give yourself a break.

Don't fash yourself, dcj.
Give it up to the universe.
Holding on will cause you pain.
You're holding on to everything in your head and making it personal.
Give it up.
Trust in God.
Or the universe.
Or whatever you want to believe in.
There's no reason to hang on to anything.
Holding on brings fear.
Think of a drowning man trying to hold on to the water.
Can't be done.
You'll go under.
Let go and float with it.
Keep your head up.
You'll be ok.

Peace

Maybe, I don't know. I genuinely don't see any good buts its not without reason. Actions have consequences and I have had all negative consequences and no good. Plus no has every told me I try and fail, they tell me I flat out fail and things like I use autism as an excuse and that they don't want to be around me and even if I could do things right they tell me it wouldn't change much. Well to be honest I floated out of bed today and I can honestly say that I don't want to be around other people either so the feeling is largely neutral.

Last edited by dcj123 on 28 Aug 2016, 3:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thanks, I assumed I pissed you off a while ago. Okay so there are two members that I know don't like me, I guess thats not too bad.

I love you, dcj.
In a pure, non-creepy way

^

Ok well then there is at least one reason to not use my noose. Speaking of which, I can't find my noose. I can't remember what I did with it but its kind of sad to even own a noose, I had it since last November when I realized my social skills were complete trash and also learned that I was complete trash. Seems like my neighbor took it but I can't remember maybe cause I have used so much cannabis. Still its probably a good things its gone, no good is going to coming digging from such things.

I don't mean to come across to abuse this position but if you love me then why don't you read a part of the bible. I am not asking you to change your beliefs but if you do then we might see each other in person some day, maybe even tomorrow. Mark and John are good places to start. Reading it with an open mind opens the door to all kinds of possibilities.

If no then I am happy to do something for you in exchange, maybe share a book you read, I'll be happy to read it.

^ what makes you think I haven't read the bible?
I grew up with an extreme Jesus freak mother (she still is).
I've read the bible cover to cover at least a dozen times in my life.
I can quote bible verses like a boss.