Left ball game because girl I like was there

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Joined: 6 May 2016
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09 Oct 2016, 6:34 am

sly279 wrote:

I dont know I'm out of my zone normally at such events. Senserory overload with al, the people and loud sounds. Then there's the lady I like with her friend, her sister who doesn't seem to like me, and hr sisters friend. I'd have to squeezed past them real close.

I can understand that most definitely but I also just feel that if you want to get out their into the world you kind of have to put a lid of your anxiety one way or another, I know that from personal experience. Honestly the worst thing about of any of those of those occasions is the first two minutes but after that I tend to relax. You shouldn't be totally off-put from being around others just on how you initially because at least to my experience that can change quickly.

I think that a ball game is honestly is allot more easy to adjust than just a social gathering. After all you don't have to talk much and their is an interesting game to distract you. So honestly it probably was a good idea to stay.

I think that in the coming months it might be a good idea to try and get to know her better.

You too work in the same store now but in the future perhaps quicker than you think that may not be the case. A good idea might be to go out of comfort zone to try and get a little closer to her who knows where that will lead. But honestly do you want to think back on this occasion knowing that you could have done something but didn't do it? To me that seems like a bad thought.

Ultimately if you fail I don't think that people judging you is a massive deal, you might beg to differ but I am not so sure whether your co-workers would want to laugh at you over it. Remember rejection is a common thing that many people would faced some people you work with may even by empathetic.

And lastly hey it is a win win scenario. If you succeed you will be able to know her better and if you fail you mind end up having gained worthwhile social experience.

sly279
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09 Oct 2016, 6:41 pm

Well th baseball game is sensory overload for me. So makes do anything besides watching it impossible.

She plans to move south and go to a college near California, she's originally from California. Even if we somehow dated it's only 6 months to 2 years before she moved.

She's always around people. And when she's not half the time she doesn't say hi back. Other times she does but uses a different voice then with others. And she'll wave at me with her fingers up and down. So either likes me or is really uncomfortable around me. Perhaps realize I like her and finds it creepy a 28 old likes a 20 year old woman.

I'm. Or sure what else to say to her, I though about asking if she'd like to hang out sometime but that was before she's ignored me a few times and other coworkers thinks she might have a bf(but no status of such bf on her fb)

In an idea world I'd just say I like her and want to get to know her more, but apparently being straight and to the point is not socially acceptable

I dont know people use to talk about some other guy being Pervey for looking at women. I imagine they'd all talk about me as such for trying to ask out s 20 year old

Shahunshah
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12 Oct 2016, 6:08 am

Maybe it would be good to simply accept that a ball game might not be the best place for you being around others.

I don't think you would come across as creepy to be honest. You seem to me like the kind of person who respects her personal space and doesn’t go over many boundaries.

I think that even if she does have a Boyfriend you should suddenly stop. Since after all if you genuinely want to get to know her and she is fine with it then you might as well go ahead.

I also do not think there is much of a reason to worry about being thought of as pervey due to the age difference. Just in my school for instance, you have a 16 year old guy dating a 13 year old girl, no body judges them and everyone just accepts it. With my neighbor as well a 50 year old man is married to a 30 year old woman. To be honest this kind of dynamic is actually really common. Your co-workers I think are more likely to know a couple with a big age gap than they are to judge you. It’s not a big deal truly. And lastly it’s not like your crush is underage and your somehow a creep she is an adult who is free to date who she likes and make her own decisions.

I wouldn't exactly call dating pointless at this place in time, sure there is a chance that it will not last but it might be good anyway. You strike me as the kind of person that can sometimes find it difficult to go out of their shell and interact with others. In that regard dating would be useful as you will find yourself more confident when it comes to interacting with women in a romantic way. This will help you most certainly when you want to go on future dates.

Personally I think it might be a good idea to stop inventing excuses for you not to try. For some of them e.g. being a perv or creepy you couldn’t be more wrong on them. To be honest if you want to succeed with other people gaining a kind of lid on these negative thoughts would be good.

Lastly just asking a question but how relaxed is your crush around you?

I am just wondering as I think becoming relaxed around her plus getting to know her better definitely comes before making arrangements with her. Otherwise your kind of pressing boundaries a little too quickly I think.

sly279
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13 Oct 2016, 1:48 am

Shahunshah wrote:

Maybe it would be good to simply accept that a ball game might not be the best place for you being around others.

I don't think you would come across as creepy to be honest. You seem to me like the kind of person who respects her personal space and doesn’t go over many boundaries.

I think that even if she does have a Boyfriend you should suddenly stop. Since after all if you genuinely want to get to know her and she is fine with it then you might as well go ahead.

she seems hot and cold. I dont know what to do. I tried friending her on fb but she hasn't accepted though her last post is from July, so i dont know .

I also do not think there is much of a reason to worry about being thought of as pervey due to the age difference. Just in my school for instance, you have a 16 year old guy dating a 13 year old girl, no body judges them and everyone just accepts it. With my neighbor as well a 50 year old man is married to a 30 year old woman. To be honest this kind of dynamic is actually really common. Your co-workers I think are more likely to know a couple with a big age gap than they are to judge you. It’s not a big deal truly. And lastly it’s not like your crush is underage and your somehow a creep she is an adult who is free to date who she likes and make her own decisions.

perhaps it's cause growing up people have always Calle dguys going after younger but older then 18 girls creeps and perverts. If I had a daughter and an older guy started dating her I'd be against it. Me and my family we're against my niece dating an older guy.

I wouldn't exactly call dating pointless at this place in time, sure there is a chance that it will not last but it might be good anyway. You strike me as the kind of person that can sometimes find it difficult to go out of their shell and interact with others. In that regard dating would be useful as you will find yourself more confident when it comes to interacting with women in a romantic way. This will help you most certainly when you want to go on future dates.

o.0 how?

Personally I think it might be a good idea to stop inventing excuses for you not to try. For some of them e.g. being a perv or creepy you couldn’t be more wrong on them. To be honest if you want to succeed with other people gaining a kind of lid on these negative thoughts would be good.

Lastly just asking a question but how relaxed is your crush around you?
i dont know . She uses a higher pictched voice, i dont know if that's cause she likes me or is anxious around me cause I creep her out.

I am just wondering as I think becoming relaxed around her plus getting to know her better definitely comes before making arrangements with her. Otherwise your kind of pressing boundaries a little too quickly I think.

Shahunshah
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13 Oct 2016, 2:51 am

sly279 wrote:

Shahunshah wrote:

Maybe it would be good to simply accept that a ball game might not be the best place for you being around others.

I don't think you would come across as creepy to be honest. You seem to me like the kind of person who respects her personal space and doesn’t go over many boundaries.

I think that even if she does have a Boyfriend you should suddenly stop. Since after all if you genuinely want to get to know her and she is fine with it then you might as well go ahead.

she seems hot and cold. I dont know what to do. I tried friending her on fb but she hasn't accepted though her last post is from July, so i dont know .

I also do not think there is much of a reason to worry about being thought of as pervey due to the age difference. Just in my school for instance, you have a 16 year old guy dating a 13 year old girl, no body judges them and everyone just accepts it. With my neighbor as well a 50 year old man is married to a 30 year old woman. To be honest this kind of dynamic is actually really common. Your co-workers I think are more likely to know a couple with a big age gap than they are to judge you. It’s not a big deal truly. And lastly it’s not like your crush is underage and your somehow a creep she is an adult who is free to date who she likes and make her own decisions.

perhaps it's cause growing up people have always Calle dguys going after younger but older then 18 girls creeps and perverts. If I had a daughter and an older guy started dating her I'd be against it. Me and my family we're against my niece dating an older guy.

I wouldn't exactly call dating pointless at this place in time, sure there is a chance that it will not last but it might be good anyway. You strike me as the kind of person that can sometimes find it difficult to go out of their shell and interact with others. In that regard dating would be useful as you will find yourself more confident when it comes to interacting with women in a romantic way. This will help you most certainly when you want to go on future dates.

o.0 how?

Personally I think it might be a good idea to stop inventing excuses for you not to try. For some of them e.g. being a perv or creepy you couldn’t be more wrong on them. To be honest if you want to succeed with other people gaining a kind of lid on these negative thoughts would be good.

Lastly just asking a question but how relaxed is your crush around you?
i dont know . She uses a higher pictched voice, i dont know if that's cause she likes me or is anxious around me cause I creep her out.

I am just wondering as I think becoming relaxed around her plus getting to know her better definitely comes before making arrangements with her. Otherwise your kind of pressing boundaries a little too quickly I think.

As for Facebook, well you can never know for sure, probably however it would be good not to dwell on it. I will see in my own personal experience I have had great friends not respond at all to friend requests online.
What makes me think that dating experience could be useful is for a number of reasons.
For one you may find yourself more relaxed when talking to women. I think this is an issue because in a previous post you mentioned that you had a hard time complimenting her in the future I think that as you get more relaxed with interacting with women in this way conventions like flirting and complimenting may come more naturally. I believe it is always hard to do these kinds of things right when you may have had little experience with it and don’t have an idea on how you are going to be received.
I guess secondly getting a date with her puts you in a position whereby in the future you will be able to converse and communicate with women and learn from that. I don’t know how much you struggle with this but I know many Aspies like myself in the past do.

If you want to know the specifics I may not be massive help, I am still in my teens and have not been in a relationship. However I appreciate the fact you have nonetheless been so open and responded to what I have written. I guess I found I could still write on this as I know what it is like to have to get out your shell to interact with others.

As for your crush being anxious well maybe a good way to fix it is to converse with her a little more. See if she reciprocates and keeps the conversation going. That is the best indicator I have found for if someone wants to keep the conversation going. I don't think it is good to maybe imagine a black and white scenario whereby "she finds me creepy or she likes me" in my personal experience girls have been anxious around me as they are simply unsure of me and know I am a little different.

sly279
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13 Oct 2016, 3:24 am

I've had 3 dates wth different women. No 2nd dates.

I've been told on here over and over women , don't like to be complimented by guys they don't find attractive or like. So I don't compliment women. Piles on to fact I'm shy and suck at verbal communication. All the girls I'd dated or met started via text communication on dating sites. Which allowed me to not be shy when we met.

RetroGamer87
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13 Oct 2016, 3:26 am

Girls seriously like to be complimented.

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Shahunshah
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13 Oct 2016, 4:05 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Girls seriously like to be complimented.

Well wouldn't it be a risk you would have to be willing to take?

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13 Oct 2016, 7:52 am

Shahunshah wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Girls seriously like to be complimented.

Well wouldn't it be a risk you would have to be willing to take?

I am. But to reduce the riskiness I only give genuine compliments.

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sly279
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13 Oct 2016, 4:00 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Shahunshah wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Girls seriously like to be complimented.

Well wouldn't it be a risk you would have to be willing to take?

I am. But to reduce the riskiness I only give genuine compliments.

What's a non genuine compliment?
I've never heard of such a thing

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14 Oct 2016, 4:58 pm

Tried talking to her today but she wasn't very responsive so pretty sure she dislikes me :cry: just like all the other women at my work

Shahunshah
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14 Oct 2016, 5:43 pm

sly279 wrote:

Tried talking to her today but she wasn't very responsive so pretty sure she dislikes me :cry:

just like all the other women at my work

Don't personalize it man their could be a multitude of reasons for why she was unresponsive not necessarily relating to you.

Well have you had a good conversation with her before?

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14 Oct 2016, 7:39 pm

sly279 wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Shahunshah wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Girls seriously like to be complimented.

Well wouldn't it be a risk you would have to be willing to take?

I am. But to reduce the riskiness I only give genuine compliments.

What's a non genuine compliment?
I've never heard of such a thing

A non genuine compliment would be telling a girl she's pretty when she isn't pretty.

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sly279
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15 Oct 2016, 10:03 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

A non genuine compliment would be telling a girl she's pretty when she isn't pretty.

Why would someone do that?

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15 Oct 2016, 10:19 am

Probably because they expect to make a good impression on someone (not necessarily on the complimented person, or an autistic like us, who finds the fakeness revolting), or even because it's part of their job.

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24 Oct 2016, 5:47 pm

Out of interest. How is it going in this regard?

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