Younger cousin getting married

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I wasn’t talking to you.



I just don’t want to be told to give up on wanting a girlfriend.

There it is. You know the answer for yourself. Similar to when my friend after who knows how many years and losses and cost, an NT running out of spoons, with her emotional, financial, spiritual resources all running out, the angel-card reader told her that she would never have children (and my friend paid good money for that reading). My friend was REALLY upset, and by golly, she went and had kids (took more time and all those resources, but it happened). Go, get 'em!

Do you mean accept the fact that they'll never get a partner, or put getting a partner on the backburner and work on themselves, develop confidence, etc, to where rejection might be easier to deal with?

I think the latter can work, but not the former. If experiencing romance and having a partner is very important to you, you might consider ending your life to be preferable to perpetually spending it alone.

I would advocate the "backburner" approach myself

Never give up on finding love.

There's nothing wrong with dating women in their 20's. You've only just hit your 30s. Hell, it's very common for women to date men a bit older than themselves, and as you get older a decade's difference becomes less and less significant.

Don't worry about what other people think. If you find someone 10 years younger that you hit it off with then great!

This. There's gotta be a healthy position in-between fixating and giving up.

You shouldn't have to give-up on this goal, but at the same time focusing on improving yourself in the meantime will ensure that if and when it happens that you're able to offer up your best self.

My aunt told me that God was still writing my love story. I just can’t buy into that because there is just no evidence to support that claim. It’s no different than saying God has a “plan” for me. I am 31 so surely a God would’ve come up with something by now.

Someone I used to be friends with would come up with wild ideas about what we would supposedly do as adults. He claimed we would be college roommates and move down to “Margaritaville” (Aside from the restaurant and some hotels, I don’t think it’s a real place) because “naked girls” would be there. Well, none of that happened because we lost contact with each other and he made new social connections in his area.

Last edited by Marknis on 24 Oct 2019, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your aunt is trying to help you feel good. She means no harm.

She doesn’t mean any harm to me but waiting around for God to do something isn’t productive.

I also remember a woman at the mental health clinic saying something about me would make me able to get a girlfriend. I forgot what that was but if she saw me now, she would probably take back what she said.

You don't know she'd take it back and unless you encounter her you won't know for certain. If there was something positive to been seen then, there almost certainly still is.

You're right that waiting for divine intervention ain't productive, but neither is beating up on yourself or wallowing in misery. In the past when I've suggested some form of artistic outlet; a big part of the reason is that it's a way to deal with those emotions so that when you're doing the rest of your life they're less intense and easier to ignore instead of letting them overwhelm you and defeat you.

I’ve been doing things to make my life more fulfilling. But having a boyfriend would really be the most fulfilling. I still feel empty and bored and that there is a huge part of my life missing. Maybe another person is the only thing that can fill the gap. There is nothing wrong with being miserable because you are alone. It’s human nature to need people. Tonight after the church supper I was at, an attractive man a bit older than me came up and shook my hand. I didn’t feel like talking much that night. So I didn’t really say anything to him other than the fact I had enough to eat when he asked. I’ve been feeling down all night because I didn’t say more. I just get so tired of struggling when I talk to people that sometimes I give up. Maybe because it’s so hard to communicate with people I’ll always be alone. I get scared of the notion of being alone forever just like Mark. For some reason the thought of getting with someone and having sex with them as a granny, is more depressing than if I were to never get with anyone again. I don’t know why. Maybe because it would remind me that my body isn’t young anymore...So yeah I’ve been worrying about this a lot too lately. I want someone now but don’t know how to get anyone. It’s not easy like it used to be.

I'm 100% with you on that. You've got to take control of the situation yourself as best you can.