Not Enjoying Living (Trigger Warning: Suicide)

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I still have some subcutaneous fat in my abdomen (the rest of my body's not really a problem), and I think I'm still slowly losing weight.

I read that it can take about a year after weight loss for skin to retract as much as it's going to, so mine still might retract a bit more yet. Either way, I'll probably end up doing what you said and trying to fill the area with muscle before looking into my other options.

I just hope, when you do experience a relationship, that’s it’s not an anticlimax for you.

My first sexual experience was sort of an anticlimax—though it was nice, in a way.

The “honeymoon,” in relationships, doesn’t often last too long. There’s good and bad. The bad can be really irritating—or worse.

I wasn't really meeting any women my age in person before COVID hit, and if I was meeting women before, I don't think that the 8 COVID cases we have left in my state would derail my efforts all that much.

Oh yeah I forget...I live in bloody Victoria

Yeah, something that I find super frustrating about my situation when thinking about how things could've turned out is that I might not even care about relationships very much now if I'd had a few of them earlier on when I started to be interested in them. It's quite possible that I'd have come to the conclusion that relationships aren't for me, or aren't something I'm too concerned about.

Unfortunately instead, a perpetual inability to cultivate a romantic relationship has lead to a devastating depression, likely irreparable damage to my self-image, and foolish decisions that I'll probably regret for the rest of my life, not to mention a bitter taste in my mouth.

Do they still have the draconian COVID restrictions in Melbourne?

I think once you work through your issues, a gf may find you. Or not. Start a journal with things you do to make a gf happen. You need to talk to more women without scaring them away. You also have to dress better. That’s the minimum. I am 34 and my plan is to buy a pair of pants and a shirt and dress up for the weekend and go to a park downtown and say ‘hi how are you?’ to a woman of one happens to be sitting nearby. I will report on what was the result.

I wouldn’t do that in a park. I’d more likely do it at a lecture or something.

They do because Melbourne is the COVID capital of Australia at the moment.

I don't live in Melbourne though. In my city, there are still some restrictions, but I'd say we're closer to normal than not.

Good luck with that. My experience is that women who aren't putting themselves in a social situation where it's normal to chat with people you don't know (social groups, interest groups, etc) generally aren't very receptive to random men approaching them for conversation, especially if "hi how are you?" is the best opener you've got.

Till the end of October

Does anybody really enjoy living? I'm of the impression that people who are happy aren't in their right mind, or they are wearing virtual blinkers which prevent them from discerning reality, or it's all a facade, painstakingly maintained to prevent others from seeing how miserable they are. There is no reason whatsoever to enjoy living, but one can still learn to be content with small pleasures, such as a well cooked meal, or a glass of wine whilst listening to some jazz of an evening. It's whatever turns you on...but fixations rarely deliver.

I'm the laughing stock in my family who are all based in WA for being stuck here. Phone calls usually start with "So how's life in the most liveable city in the world"

I feel content in my life because I am fortunate enough to see Nature even in the outskirts of New York City.

(even though I'm sort of afraid of raccoons).

you also have to approach the gf dilemma biologically changing the bacteria in your gut through food you eat.. sexual attraction is a part animal instinct with smells, behavior, and unseen to us subtle things expressed by biology taking effect on people around you.. so drink a cup of Kefir every day for a year and you may see better results.