Rants

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Sometimes I do wonder if I do scare people or drive them away unintentionally... And why is that?

I already long accepted facts of people misunderstanding things about me, both good and bad, but...
While I'm just too busy with other matters if not overwhelmed, and I might as well did willingly turn unto apathy when it comes to impressions. By simply letting these people take those misunderstandings and without justification or explanation for my words or actions -- for things as is, regardless of my intentions, wrong means wrong and mistakes as intentional.

Of course this doesn't make me strong nor mature. It's no different from the imbalance of defensiveness or having too many excuses.



On another matter;
Yeah... Why can I not be balanced? It's another thing for me to be really disappointed at.
What exactly robbed me of the chance if not anything that would make it last? What exactly made efforts futile? Even with all the motivations and willpower asserted, even with all possible angles studied, even if I brought my own pride down...
If it boils down to something biological, then it'll be very disappointing. It's like my own life cheated me, instead of the harsher world like many had been dealing with.
If it's just my head, then I'm missing something. I would need help -- if only others would understand which is never guaranteed. I already tried this, and it's been disappointing me all over again.
If it's just all chance, then changes it'll pass itself. No more, no less.

If none of these then... What the heck am I doing?

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I hate living in this country and i hate my job. I hate all the people who called me smart growing up. I hate that i have to live here after my parents pass away. (maybe not?) I hate myself for not quitting college while i still can and i HATE that i am always so considerate of others feelings.

Software support program reminder

This is sickening.

It's a "Smart Dress" that counts how often women are groped in nightclubs: More than 40 times per hour.

Dad,

You don't care.
Bleh.
Why?
I don't understand you...
But, people say I'm like you.
It's really not true.
They are just looking at how I react to your habit, I guess.

If we can be relatable,
more so,
Why?

You don't care.

My monologue about you:
a conversation that happens too often between us.

-me

USFWS is a copulating joke

Yes, I can pray. I know how to pray beyond the physical pose and words muttered. I know how to pray with all my heart, mind, and spirit.
And yes, even the most logical and rational side of me won't protest. At worst it's the prideful side of me sees the absurdity of it, but still it has seen it's purpose past beyond said absurdity.


But damnit do not force me to. There's a reason why I rarely ever pray, why I almost never pray with words and how I never prayed for myself.

Do not ask me to pray for petty stuff -- work it with your own.
Do not ask me to just pray for something especially for the sake of it.
And more especially do not ask me to pray for your own luck -- directly asking me for it will never work. Beg 'luck' from someone else.

And why me?! I'm far from the religious believer, I'm far from the most spiritual person and I'm far from being a saint. So why?!?! Why not someone else??

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Do you hate this?.

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/286
___

Sickened by ~'I miss the [*]early[*] 2000's [music]' comments on YouTube >:I . Seriously?!. It was pretty much the 'vapid-ness' of the late 90's in that it wasn't too meaningful and kind of sticks out as gaudy today.

The stupid way ppl don't care to understand or realize about 'nostalgia cycles' and how the treatment of anyone under 18 is considered my less valid b/c of that. >:I Am I suppose to agree when we get to the point of 'I miss late 00's music so much' b/c some fools don't realize that information preservation achieved the nigh-ideal state it's at now and b/c there's too dense to realize/click with how they only are more likely to say such things b/c of social media's influence?!.

Comment by Rakib_khan about a comic book series about an investigator who looks into a mall shooter, highlighting how terrible it is that social media makes things so banal.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/393 ... ugh-hell-1

Seriously!?. Is this like how ppl don't attach relative marginal movements like 'real deal flower children' hippies to the 60's and disco to the 70's?--it's not until longer after the rather unstimulating or unnoticed event/fact that you 'harness it' b/c you need it for something (environmentalism or making party scenes better).

I am judgemental. Can you blame me?.

Forgive me please, for the questionable perojative

'Red neck' and 'blue collar'---i just realize now how 'parallel' the phrases are.

The soul you feel with the blood.

If you think I write in the rants thread b/c I'm bored..you might be right.

"Boredom is rage spread thin"-Paul Tillich.

Imo Jasmeet Singh is not a good role model.

All-important but not all-powerful. Annoying.

Trusting ppl born before the 80’s is difficult.