Rants

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Im fed up with people wanting to be my friend i know it sounds nice to have someone want to be my friend but im autistic and find friendships not only difficult but a pain in the arse for me but this stupid woman doesnt get the message
she just says that she doesnt mind if im awkward but thats not the point i just dont want a friendship with her anyway she and she flirts with my husband i dont want that
ohh the social complications i hate it all
all I want is my hubby and my sisters and thats it no one else cos i aint intrested.

I like to walk in the rain, but I never can enjoy it because some a***hole has to come along in their car, put their foot right down on the pedal, and soak me from head to toe when going through a huge puddle or water gathering in the road. I mean, don't these f**ktards know anything about the risks they are taking when speeding up deliberately through a rather deep flooded part of the road, just to soak some random person who's walking along? Is it really worth destroying their car? People soon make a fuss if their car has one little scratch on it, so being how people are so overprotective of their vehicles, you would have thought they'd want to avoid the risk of damaging their cars just to soak a person. When I did my driving test I read countless times that it is not a good idea to speed through deep water, as you could hit a pothole that's hidden underneath the water, or the water could splash up into the engine from underneath and cause issues, or it could even damage the struts if you're too close to the curb, as if the water is that deep you can't always see where the road ends and the edge of the curb begins. So that is why it is advisable to go slow when driving through a flooded road. But no, idiots think that soaking a person who's walking to work is so irresistibly funny. I'm not talking about big lorries or buses that may spray a little as they drive through a huge puddle, as drivers of big vehicles do slow down, and because it's a big vehicle, a bit of splashing can't always be helped. But I'm talking about people in cars who put their foot down deliberately, for the intention to f**k me right off. When this happens, I feel like throwing a huge rock at their car. They'll soon stop their car, jump out and give me abuse and demand I pay for the damage. Then I'll have the opportunity to say, ''well, you should have thought about that before you decided to speed up as you're approaching a big puddle in the road just to watch me get soaked. Yes, I may look stupid, but if anybody tries to mess with me, I'll mess with them. Perhaps that will teach you a lesson or two not to mess with strangers in the future.''

I hate this world. I wish i can go to a better place when i DİE. And i want to forget about all the meaningless pain and hardships i have endured.

Sometimes I just wanna walk away... Without anyone protesting or chasing after me, and without having to say a word about it.

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my father used to be a walkaway person,
no one minded too much until the harder part of alzheimer,
the center said we have that covered with a chip so he can't walk out, first night they lost that bet
(he already took the chip out) (because he was a handfull there was confinement to the chair, you wouldn't burden the staff, he got often punishments, for eg, taking a bite from the decoration fruits)

.. My unwillingness to pour my soul out.

Partially because pride demanded it, and partially because sympathy and guilt held it back.
This is why I don't like being human. Why I kept fighting my unwanted emotionality.


Yeah, the outbursts and frustrations are but a short term of these things. But those are from annoyances, not any deeper than that.
Sometimes words just... Doesn't do the whole thing well. If I said it out loud, would I said it right? If I went and, 'correct' myself, would that ruin the whole process or even make it awkward, or worse?

Sure, I'd know who's willing to listen and who's willing to carry the burden. Yet...
As much as I know how to let things go, can I trust the other person to do the same? As much as I questioned if I can trust them not to take advantage of it, can I trust them not to be burdened or distracted because of my 'situation'? Can I trust them not to be 'sad' or worried for me? I can't do that, because they're humans.

I don't like it when someone acts on worry, or say stuff be it gentle or rough. Yet at the same time, I don't wanna be ignored...
Not even the less emotional ones, they're even worse somehow. Solutions? It just gave me a sign this person will can worry or think much about it.
In the end, to me it's the words that would ruin it if the sign of acknowledgement is words. I'd need something else other than words.

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How Aspies view NTs:-

-Smiling in every photograph as a baby
-Hate routine
-Talk about sports and nothing else
-Hate science, have no interest in science
-Hate studying or having a career
-Have fairytale relationships
-Have a thousand friends
-Dislike animals
-Are dimwits
-Are 99% of the population


What NTs really are:-

-Can look serious or blank in photographs too as babies
-NTs have some sort of a routine, they don't hate it
-Not every NT is interested in sports, and the ones who are don't talk about sports all the time
-A lot of NTs do find outer space science rather interesting, even if it's not an interest of their's
-A lot of NTs choose to go to college because they are interested in a particular subject and want a career because they enjoy it
-These days even a lot of NTs can't seem to hold down relationships
-Nobody has a thousand friends
-Every NT I know loves animals, and a lot of people own pets and love them like they're their children
-NTs can be intelligent, and the average IQ NTs are not dimwits
-NT doesn't make up 99% of the population, as there are other neurological disabilities that makes a person atypical

How Aspies view Aspies viewing NT's:-

*insert genralisation here*

Really not in the mood for sarcasm aimed at me here today, I'm feeling f****d off with everything, can't even rant on WP any more, I just might as well go away and die I'm just feeling so miserable.

It was hard to tell by this specific rant that you were so unhappy.