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KT67
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01 Feb 2020, 1:57 pm

I'm such a bad person that when I say I'm stressed about being a bad person and want reassurance nobody reassures me.


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AprilR
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01 Feb 2020, 4:18 pm

^ you're not a bad person because if you were, you wouldn't worry about it. And everyone has the chance to become a better version of themselves.
Also needing reassurance isn't bad.



KT67
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01 Feb 2020, 6:58 pm

Thanks.
It's just, if I tell an offensive joke about a group of people and someone spins it so it sounds like I'm talking about my mates, will my mates still be my mates?
That's what I'm worried about.
Cos it's not easy to secure friendships with people into the same stuff as me, it's the first time in my life I've had the chance to do that and I've only got like a year's worth of friendship with them.


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Joe90
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03 Feb 2020, 6:38 pm

I know I've mentioned this before here but I am getting sick of some of the guys at work that keep blowing up these bangers, I don't know what they are exactly (all I know is that they're loud and unnecessary), but they're these little things that you light, chuck on the ground and they explode, producing an intensely loud bang and some smoke. They seem to be so amused at these things, and these are grown men. They've been exploding these stupid things for about 4 months now and the humour in it died weeks ago. But they're still doing it, letting one off when you least expect it, and I cannot get used to it. Why should I have to get used to it anyway? It's 100% unnecessary, nothing to do with the work, and they shouldn't even be doing it in the workplace. I jump out of my skin each time, and it makes me extremely jumpy after I finish my shift. It's not fair that I have to suffer this. But the supervisor thinks it's great and if I react he just tells me to stop whining and get a sense of humour. I think it's them that need a sense of humour, because I don't see what's so entertaining about seeing a banger explode. It's obnoxious. I wish they didn't do it. :x


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funeralxempire
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03 Feb 2020, 6:52 pm

KT67 wrote:
I'm such a bad person that when I say I'm stressed about being a bad person and want reassurance nobody reassures me.


Most people can't say, and others who might think they can may still doubt their opinion is as valid as your own. No one reassures you not because you're a bad person but because if you feel you're a bad person how are we supposed to know better than you do? You're able to conceal potentially unflattering details from us, if they exist and if you so choose. You're able to invent flattering but untrue details to improve your appearance in our eyes.

Some bad people worry about it, because not everyone who engages in malicious or negligent behaviour lacks the ability to feel guilt, but they're better at compartmentalizing and addressing the self-critical thoughts that would cause other people to be more strongly disinclined to repeating those types of behaviours.



KT67 wrote:
It's just, if I tell an offensive joke about a group of people and someone spins it so it sounds like I'm talking about my mates, will my mates still be my mates?


Most likely. Part of what draws people together is the ability to trust their friends motives. If you tell a joke that might step on toes, someone who tries to spin it to appear that that was the intended goal will have to convince the group (rest of the group?) that you were trying to scorn them. Considering they probably judge you to be a good person who likes them, they're unlikely to get butthurt, certainly not the first time around unless the joke is particularly vicious.


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AriaEclipse
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06 Feb 2020, 2:41 pm

It's so hard for me to understand what people mean when I'm trying to talk to them and make friends. It is definitely starting to seem impossible for me to be successful socially. I wish I could just survive by myself but I don't understand why I always feel the need to push it and try to communicate with others and socialize. I wish I were somebody who could keep to themselves and just have their imaginary friend (It might sound strange at my age but I have one and she is my best friend) and be perfectly happy that way.


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blooiejagwa
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06 Feb 2020, 3:11 pm

AriaEclipse wrote:
It's so hard for me to understand what people mean when I'm trying to talk to them and make friends. It is definitely starting to seem impossible for me to be successful socially. I wish I could just survive by myself but I don't understand why I always feel the need to push it and try to communicate with others and socialize. I wish I were somebody who could keep to themselves and just have their imaginary friend (It might sound strange at my age but I have one and she is my best friend) and be perfectly happy that way.


I hope you do get someone thrown your way who understands and cares and vice versa!


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07 Feb 2020, 2:51 am

Why do I always feel like everyone dislikes me or hates me?


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07 Feb 2020, 3:12 am

another case of narcissistic pingpong
applaus & cheers

famous quote from self: "as long as your hair's nice"
:jester: :jester:



blooiejagwa
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07 Feb 2020, 10:49 am

blackicmenace wrote:
Why do I always feel like everyone dislikes me or hates me?


Let them who cares.
Did they survive encounters with a shark and snake?
NTs are often too full of themselves.

I heard an ad on the radio where the man says 'you look people in the eyes when you shake their hands because u care about presentation' or something similar (the last Word )
I felt annoyed ...
cuz i thought i can never do that bcuz im focusing on the movement n looking at their hands

. Also it feels disrespectful and aggressive like you're a moose challenging another moose instead of cordial.

Since animals glare at each other like that evil previous lawyer who wd look at my dad like he wanted to kill him while shaking hands every time.

Probably he can sense honesty and it makes him hostile.

Since he was smiling nicely at my XH when he shook his hand n acting all syrup-y like he wanted to marry him. Even my brother said that.


I was paying close attention because I was feeling bad vibes from the man so I was noticing everything.

But idk why NTs think everyone has to think the same or it's a character flaw.

I am mad at ppl who make sudden plans without informing anyone n expect everyone to just automatically fall in line even though it makes no sense to.


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blackicmenace
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07 Feb 2020, 1:44 pm

I know it's an irrational feeling, but it makes it extra hard to believe when people like me and easy to fall prey to the idea they simply want nothing to do with me. I wish I didn't have to struggle with my own mind. It makes it very hard to trust people.


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blooiejagwa
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07 Feb 2020, 10:31 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
I know it's an irrational feeling, but it makes it extra hard to believe when people like me and easy to fall prey to the idea they simply want nothing to do with me. I wish I didn't have to struggle with my own mind. It makes it very hard to trust people.


Maybe others just generally have a distrustful hostile inner view of people, and you pick up on that. Like the inside doesn't match the outside.
I noticed the most delayed severe ASD kids can notice that, and it affects them greatly the same as when they thrive from genuine, loving people involved in their lives.


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07 Feb 2020, 10:45 pm

My rant is that I hate this house, even as I recognize that it's better than being homeless or paying exorbitant rent prices.

My other rant is that my younger has feesing issues too and even though it's not as devastating and pronounced as the elder's I feel angry that my kids were born with so many issues. Not at them but at the fact that there is no solution despite following everything attending years of feeding classes for parents that thr government offers in lieu of actually having the feeding clinic or therapist involved. The fact that othee parents who whinge about their kids' feeding issues have kids who eat 3 meals a day at thd least and are often overweight or normal weight. The fact that nobody helps. XH has his family helping daily. I have nothing. My parents choose to live far and nobody helps even when they can.

My last rant is the fact that I am still breathing and still have to deal with this world.


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rileydaboss2000
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08 Feb 2020, 11:45 am

I'm getting real sick and tired of being told repeatedly about my freaking age and that I am a fully grown adult and I need to stop acting like a bloody child and make the transition to adulthood. It doesn't matter about any of that at the moment, and it needs to bloody stop because I am seriously going to lose it sometime if it keeps happening.

I am just myself, and it shouldn't really matter about what I like and what I can own in my life you know. I am well aware that I am now in adulthood but it's hard for me to evolve in life because of my difficulties, and I really struggle with these things most of the time, so I need to get better. I just want the repeated mentions about this to stop now because its unnecessary and I don't like it being told to myself because it's really upsetting for me to hear.



PeachyKeenPeach
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08 Feb 2020, 9:21 pm

I have a very strong feeling I’ll die before I become an adult.
The real world is far too stressful and scary, and I’m not strong enough to survive.
All I want is to be able to stay inside and innocent forever.



blooiejagwa
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10 Feb 2020, 7:44 pm

PeachyKeenPeach wrote:
I have a very strong feeling I’ll die before I become an adult.
The real world is far too stressful and scary, and I’m not strong enough to survive.
All I want is to be able to stay inside and innocent forever.


There are adults who retain the best parts of innocence even as they become wiser from bad experiences and observations. Actually in my life I noticed the most intelligent educated peoplle I ever met and know are all what others describe as innocent. Though they understand everything better than others (maybe that is why).


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