scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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8. It's pulsating bigger and bigger...
Eventually it may explode into a powerful optimistic, confident burst!

Here's hoping... after that though, what then? Nasty side effect possibility? I've learned to revel in it while it lasts though - may lessen the side effect.

However, through this comes a tough fact - it's all me... I have to grab it while I can... it's still tough because I have to undergo a hard challenge...

Am I up for the challenge?
Damn straight.

Well, today I'm about a +5.

Yesterday was something pretty awful. I'm not really sure why it happened. I kept oscillating between about a -8 and +1, every few minutes, depending on the quality of whatever stimulus was last to enter my awareness (mother is cross with me, I had a yummy dinner, baby cries, baby laughs, I overhear an argument, I get a nice message...). In my head I kept having this image of myself drowning in the ocean and every once in a while--through sheer will to live--madly kicking and breaking through the surface to gasp for breath and flail for a lifeline, then to be dragged down again by the undertow. I haven't felt that way since the summer of '03.

Sink or swim? We'll find out what I'm made of.

Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea
I got a message I can't read,
Another message I can't read

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdrh_co1wTA[/youtube]

I don't know, ye Moirae... I'm pretty brave and pretty strong. What else can you throw me?

7.5.

I've improved from the last year of college, and I'm actually putting an effort into doing my work.

5.5... I'm so gla I'm not in school being forced to do stuff I don't want to! When I go back I plan to take only courses I will LOVE!


I also really want username88 to cheer up!

-10

I'm a 6! I finally finished organizing what I was dying to organize and now all I have to do is organize everything else-- my clothes, my writing, my other stuff in my bag.

Are you saying you are causing his depressive drops and feel better because that shows he cares? Not very nice if that is the case.


Me, I am a 4.
feeling fat.

Hey, where'd my last post go! That's odd!


Anyway, I'm still a 6... 6.5 now, actually. Like I said earlier, I got organized what I was dying to, and now I just need to organize my clothes, my writings and my other stuff in my bags... and I'm so excited/apprehensive about username88 coming whenever me, MADDuck and the others are ready! MADDuck says he'll be ready in 2 or 3 months! And others put their names down too!

EDIT: I don't want him to be depressed! Graelwyn, you know what I mean!

Ah, there was my post up there!

I'm at a slightly warm and fuzzy 1, up from my normal 0. Rain has come back to the northwest, and it feels like everything is being washed clean; interesting mushrooms are growing everywhere now.

Also, I've just ordered four Cold Steel throwing knives and two tomahawks; I've been wanting them for a while; the knives will replace my old Hibben thrower, which has served me well for many years; plus with four of them I'll be able to practice more effectively; and I've been wanting to learn to throw tomahawks for a while. There are several stumps behind my cabin that will make perfect targets.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Circus Freak

You make me feel so safe! If you join us in our commune I'll feel so safe around you; I'm glad we're friends, Icarus!


I feel like a 5.5, depression, dunno why. Clinical I guess.


Oh yeah, and Graelwyn, what I said is nothing compared to what MADDuck said-- he said he wanted 3 kids: a boy, a girl and an AS on antidepressants.

Between 2 and 5.
I feel a tad rough - out of tobacco, thrown out of my SU bar, and unable to say the stuff I want to.

All I can say to that is...

One of your most endearing traits is that you are consistently nondeterministic; what is the method to your madness, I wonder...

I'm not sure why what I said should make you feel safer, but I'm happy to oblige. The aforementioned items are just hobbies; it is likely that I lack the substantive skill to use them in any sort of defensive or offensive capacity. But, the satisfying thud of a perfectly thrown knife sinking true into a wooden target is like the striking of an angelic guitar chord that resonates pleasantly in my soul. Throwing from a well measured position at a static target is not so difficult as it might seem (or might not, I dunno). Get the commune up and running, and I'll stop by and show you, and whoever else is there who is interested.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Burgemeister

-5 I don't know what to do!

6! If you absolutely don't know what to do, PM me, Jim!

I made a friend today! RedHanrahan! I always knew we'd get along! We both want to make a place like Sealand in The Chrysalids, for Aspies! He doesn't seem to be able to come right now, but he'll come later, I'm sure! Even years later!

2.
Really bad tension style headache...think thyroid is playing up again as I have got a really bad memory again and lack energy.
On an up note, it always cheers me up to spend time with my loved one.