scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-0.5; slightly agitated without good cause, but just whimsical enough not to be -1; an odd Lagrangian point betwixt flame and shadow. I tried to chase the sanguine half-moon on the way home along a twisty, dark mountain road; just enough fog to bounce back a ghostly white haze in my high-beams, making the dark world seem more than a bit surreal; or a bit more than usual anyway. Luna rose before me, as if she was laughing at me. Or was she beckoning? She got away; she always does; but I will catch her some day; the irony is that once I do I will not be able to realize it; but that has never been imporant. All the while, and old Iron Maiden song was playing in my mind... Be Quick Or Be Dead. Just one step farther into the darkness...

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=8GC3O_2IQV4[/youtube]
Covered in sinners and dripping with gilt;
Making you money from slime and from filth.
Parading your bellies in ivory towers;
Investing our lives in your schemes and your powers!

You got to watch them - be quick or be dead!
Snake eyes in heaven - the thief in your head!
Youve got to watch them - be quick or be dead!
Snake eyes in heaven - the thief in your head!

Be quick! Or be dead!

See... whats ruling all our lives; see... whose pulling the strings.
I bet you won't fall on your face; your belly will hold you in place.

The serpent is crawling inside of your ear;
He says you must vote for what you want to hear.
Dont matter what's wrong as long as you're alright!
So pull yourself stupid and rob yourself blind...

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Lunatic

-2.
I hate being cold and arm is all hot.

3

I am properly functioning. No more.

5. My account was hacked again! but on the other hand, Riley_Joe, who also lives in Edmonton, wants to have coffee with me! Maybe I can take him to see my shrink too! Maybe we can have coffee in the hospital lobby, which is more attractive than the average coffee shop!

Oh; thanks for pointing it out!


I don't get the joke. Either they're smart or they're really stupid.


5.7... the mods are taking me seriously!

5.8 because Icarus isn't assuming I had an easy pass and telling me I deserve what I got like some people would do!


And he wants to be the best man.


Damn; I'm making myself too obvious! How do you strike a line thru some text in your post?

+9 wp is getting slow enough I think I will beable to break its chains from me very soon.

-8.
words cannot even express.

0. Well it's not minus, but it's nothing compared to the good I have been feeling in the past...
Sometimes I feel that what good is intelligence if it's not the type you can use to your advantage? You know - are there any NT girls out there who would actually be fond of aspies?

If I were a NT guy, or girl, with the approach to life attitude I have, I'd probably think myself quite lucky if I knew some aspies... chances are I'd be fond of some too.

All the other stuff I'm still fearing intensely - the work... the social stuff... it's quite horrible.
I ain't getting enough out of what I'm putting in - yes I have them sometimes nice patches of good feeling, but I don't get stuff from it all...

I sure could do with that girl from Yorkshire talking round about now... say what though - it wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for this heavy work crisis thing.
She ain't been talking for a good few days now... she probably doesn't think it's affecting me like it currently is - I guess a sure sign that I don't show this - I only lament in my own time sorta... so my approach isn't bad.

atm though, what do I do? This sucks. I bet the 0 will just get dragged down again.

+1

Creeping up there.... we'll see what's next.

-3

My head is shot to hell, I am dead tired. And I have yet to finish my Neurology, Chemistry or Calculus homework.

Oh joy.

+2 I think it's time to rally...
No more I say. I'm gonna take this work head on... it'll feel my wrath.

I must be professional and profficient...
I must do what I know I can do so well - pure goddamn adrenaline pumping determination.
If I ain't back yet, I sure will be back on my feet damn soon... I can do this!!

Seriously though - I'm a really strong and able dude... I kinda don't believe that typing it but I know I am.
It doesn't seem right somehow does it? It certainly doesn't fit... I mean it doesn't fit how I can sink so low despite the strong abilities and understandings... this is indeed a disturbing world for an aspie... we are folk who know what's going on and stuff... it's really quite disturbing to think how we can lose hope so easily... it just doesn't fit.

I tell you what though - I believe that if I were a Neurotype in the '60s I'd have a p*** easy time. My character has them sorta traits and I'd be on an everlasting roll.

Screw this man - I'm waaaay better than this. F*** the low mood - thrive on the good and smash the doubt to pieces.

-5

My body REFUSES to get enough sleep