I feel discouraged...

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...I put up an intended post here that became a separate line, due to my pressing the wrong button. It was about the fact that I have only one pair of shoes, Teva sandals that are maybe getting a little old - and which no longer close completely over my water weight-swollen feet, the middle strap won't close as my feet are too big .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Merry Christmas, ASS-P.

...Thank you. Likewise. I should say that, I was given a couple of presents Yesterday, presents of the " for charity/given to people who get nothing else " stripe, some gloves and a calender and such, I suppose everyone here may have received them - I opened them and looked at them and appreciated them - and then put almost all of them in the garbage, I have no space for them. As it happens I have no chair even to sit in in my corned of the room .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Happy christmas ASS-P. I wish you all the best.

Merry Christmas, ASS-P!

...Additional thank you a to those who wished me MC after the first one !

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...More about what I don't have and are running out of...My ID card expires on my birthday, IIRC, exactly a month from to-day. I certainly cannot be without one! I do have a voucher in my picket, to get one from the DMV, having got that voucher from the HSC. To fulfill it I would have to go to the DMV, this apparently involving going to the end of the Capitola Mall bus and - walking?? - a bit beyond that. I did that years ago, when I got this card - but I wasn't as crippled then .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...When I came to SC, I essentially went directly to the hospital and this rehab from there - Since I needed yet another amputation and recovery from it, it was good that I got it. Beyond that; should I be here? I don't any other " place to go " presenting itself .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Aside from having only the shoes I was wearing, I came here with very few clothes. I have had to build them up, practically 100% of the (non-underpants/underahirts) clothes I've bought here being from the Sally Army or Goodwill - so am I sufficiently humble for you ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I know how being crippled sucks. On bad days my mobility is so bad I need help with things like getting in and out of a shower and even using the toilet. I know how being a shut in sucks. I can't go anywhere by myself. I get lost and it's not allowed by law. The minute I'm by myself I'm on missing person status like a silver alert. I must have a guardian caretaker looking after me 24/7. This is unlikely to ever change.

^^^I couldn’t grow a beard when I was 17.

How are you doing today, ASS-P?

I’m wondering if the social workers could take care of the ID thing.

...What I do in here, and what they push on me, is primarily " sleeping and eating "! I am in my room, or the bathroom, perhaps 23
÷ hours a day, if I do not go out. (Especially with the sun going down so much recently.) I am brought my meals in my room. Perhaps I ciuld eat in the common room if I pushed to - However, I did, for a long time, want to stay off of my feet in order to let them heal, and I am taking that - Though it gets too cold in this room, and generally somewhat gloomy, and the dementia'd roomate.
I get a little afraid that I might be stuck here forever. I don't want to be. I think this is the longer-term wing. I don't suppose I could have staying here forever paid anyway. I have another roommate other than the dementia'd one, I have no trouble with him.. From something I heard about him seems to indicate he's considered schizophrenic and the thought is to bring him back there; so perhaps we are both considered more serious, but not meant to be here forever; cases.
It's 6:05 A M. and it really is cold here! It's internal coldness/shivering - I've shown that some - in part; I guess .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

What 17-year-old doesn’t have a scruffy beard?

You can actually do lots with your brain.