I don't want to be a narcissist

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racheypie666
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29 Apr 2023, 8:38 am

Recidivist wrote:

racheypie666 wrote:

(I'm sorry I'm not contributing much to the discussion btw, very selfish (dare I say - narcissistic) of me :lol:

)

Well, if that's your definition of being narcissistic, I'm f****d and should be carted off by the men in the white coats :jester:

Don't worry, I'm sure they're on their way now for both of us.

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29 Apr 2023, 8:43 am

^ I hope I get a padded cell this time :jester:

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Joe90
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29 Apr 2023, 9:04 am

Please, I'd rather not have the thread derailed on to jokes, as I'm very serious about this.

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MatchboxVagabond
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29 Apr 2023, 9:18 am

Joe90 wrote:

So now having Asperger's means I'm a narcissist. Just as I never thought it was humanly possible to despise having ASD any more than I already do...

You probably don't. ASD can look rather narcissistic if you don't know what's going on under the hood. I'm positive that it's possible to have both, but most of the ASD "narcissism" is either the result of misunderstood social cues or needs that don't match with what the NT world expects. Hardly any of it is driven by that level of egocentrism.

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29 Apr 2023, 9:45 am

MatchboxVagabond wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

So now having Asperger's means I'm a narcissist. Just as I never thought it was humanly possible to despise having ASD any more than I already do...

It’s definitely possible to have both as Narcissism can be a coping strategy in response to the problems experienced due to ASD.

Having said that, many people with ASD are very compassionate and caring individuals. ASD certainly doesn’t automatically lead to narcissism

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29 Apr 2023, 9:50 am

Joe90 wrote:

Please, I'd rather not have the thread derailed on to jokes, as I'm very serious about this.

I thought we had already established you are not a narcissist Joe, I thought jokes would be the natural progression.

I shall stop now.

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Joe90
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29 Apr 2023, 9:58 am

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

Please, I'd rather not have the thread derailed on to jokes, as I'm very serious about this.

I thought we had already established you are not a narcissist Joe, I thought jokes would be the natural progression.

Well, thank you.

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

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racheypie666
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29 Apr 2023, 10:06 am

You can neither know nor control what people think about you.

No more jokes, fair enough.

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29 Apr 2023, 10:16 am

Joe90 wrote:

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

That's a strange way to word it.

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funeralxempire
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29 Apr 2023, 10:34 am

Joe90 wrote:

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

Please, I'd rather not have the thread derailed on to jokes, as I'm very serious about this.

I thought we had already established you are not a narcissist Joe, I thought jokes would be the natural progression.

Well, thank you.

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

I'll admit, I believe a degree of child-like narcissism is typical of ASD, based on having known many people with ASD.

I don't believe that narcissism is the same as NPD, even if it might appear similar.

If EF deficits are like a small plate, it's unlikely that empathetic considerations will make their way onto the plate unless they've consciously forced on to the plate. When they're forced on to the plate, they dominate it. If I'm correct in how I understand that tendency it might explain why so many people with ASD can be very considerate when they're actively making an effort, but also can be highly inconsiderate in other contexts.

Most of us are forced to learn to be actively considerate because we get corrected repeatedly. Most of us also understand that the feelings of others matter regardless of how well-equipped we are to evaluate them.

That said, I recall reading an article that said NPD also correlates with reduced ToM and EF. If that's the case, their narcissism might be closer to ours than we'd like to admit because of how badly theirs is stigmatized.

Here's the article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... tic-people

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Joe90
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29 Apr 2023, 12:36 pm

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

That's a strange way to word it.

I meant I (fear) I may come across as narcissistic on WP sometimes but that is not my actual persona.

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MatchboxVagabond
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29 Apr 2023, 12:43 pm

racheypie666 wrote:

You can neither know nor control what people think about you.

No more jokes, fair enough.

I always thought that meant that nobody had any idea what anybody else was thinking or feeling. Apparently, most people have a general sense of sort of where other people are emotionally.

It's even worse online, where the NT have to interact the way that the ND have to. I try not to get too much amusement out of that. Operative work: try.

Anyways, trying to control what other people think of us isn't something that's viable. The absolute best any of us can do is to decide what sort of evidence and support we want to lend to different opinions people can have. But, at the end of the day, people are weird, and you can't ever be sure how anything is going to be interpreted. Even amongst the NT community, you get extremely large gaps in opinion over the exact same occurrence.

MatchboxVagabond
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29 Apr 2023, 12:44 pm

Joe90 wrote:

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

That's a strange way to word it.

I meant I (fear) I may come across as narcissistic on WP sometimes, but that is not my actual persona.

Honestly, I doubt anybody around here really gives that much thought to things like that. Or at least I'm too busy to bother having opinions about people beyond the things that they post.

Joe90
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29 Apr 2023, 12:55 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

That's a strange way to word it.

I meant I (fear) I may come across as narcissistic on WP sometimes, but that is not my actual persona.

Honestly, I doubt anybody around here really gives that much thought to things like that. Or at least I'm too busy to bother having opinions about people beyond the things that they post.

Trust me, I've been called a narcissist here before. But if I were a narcissist then I'd be running into the same problems offline than I do here, but I never, ever do.

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29 Apr 2023, 1:01 pm

Joe90 wrote:

Recidivist wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

I think some people on WP do think I'm a narcissist but believe me I'm not in real life.

That's a strange way to word it.

I meant I (fear) I may come across as narcissistic on WP sometimes but that is not my actual persona.

So you think you may come across as narcissistic (based on your ideas of what narcissistic is) here on WP but you don't come across as narcissistic IRL?

Why do think that is? What do you think the difference is? Identifying the difference may alleviate your anxiety.

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29 Apr 2023, 2:35 pm

You never seemed narcissistic to me for what it’s worth.

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