Im in so much emotional and existential pain/noone will help

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yes i do, to many bad things happened to me here, lots of left over negatitivity.

im fascinated with the samurai zen hakiu and japanese culture wich got their start in the fuedal era

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences there. Have you had a good day today?

What do you like about Japanese culture, other than the Samurai? Have you been to Japan?

sort of im just kinda winding down due to sleep deprivation



i love anime/manga giant robots bushido the paintings architeture

I'm glad you've had a better day today, Nightbender.

Are you able to pursue your interests in Japanese culture? There are certainly plenty of interesting websites about all of the topics that you mentioned, and it's easy to download anime.

I know that you mentioned the need for intellectual stimulation- it sounds as though you have plenty interests which could provide that.

sort of its really hard to stay with an interest for more than a minute

i saw the chiropracter today. he seemed ok seemed like he could help, didnt talk much though.
when i got home, idk, it was like i almost expected the whole thing to fail on me.

I'm sorry you find it so hard to concentrate on your interests. That must be very frustrating.

What do you hope the chiropractor can do for you? Do you have something wrong with your spine? If he didn't talk much, perhaps you need to ask him more questions. You could write the questions down before you go to see him so that you don't forget.

What do you mean, that you expect the whole thing to fail on you? Don't you think he'll be able to help you after all?

he did an evalution and found several things like my rib cage and my pelvis were out of wack, also when you clear up physical issues emotional ones clear up too.

I Have had my hopes raised in the past about getting back to the normal business of recovery only
to have it not work out. i kinda stuck in that dynamic.

Hi, Nightbender. I think it's important to stay optimistic but also not to get your hopes up too much. This chiropractor may help you with some of your health problems, but he's probably not going to be able fix everything. If you don't have unrealistic expectations, you shouldn't end up feeling let down.

Why would your ribcage and pelvis be "out of whack"? And why should they affect your emotional health?

I hope you've had a good day today, anyway. Jenny

simple the brain/mind and body are connected, a imbalance in one will set of an imbalance in the other, fixing one fixes the other. they would be out of wack just from stress. im not expected him to fix everything, just hoping he will help bring me to a point where i can do all the therapies and treatments again

I have communicated with you before nightbender. I want to help you if I can. However, I do see that jennyishere is helping you, so my help may not be needed by you. If so, that is fine. I do not want to get in the way. You will not hurt my feelings on this. But I am offering support if you need it. And to jennyishere---thank you for your help to nightbender.

I have posted this because I have noticed for a long time that nightbender does not seem happy---and you, nightbender, deserve some happiness.

thanks glider

You are welcome nightbender. I was reading about your ribcage and pelvis problem. That sounds painful. That could definitely play a part in not feeling good. In 2004 I underwent back surgery because I had a chipped fragment off of a vertabrae or something---so I can relate to physical stuff like that. I hope that gets worked out for you.

Hi, nightbender and glider18. I'm glad that the two of you are friends and that you have someone to help you, nightbender. You sound like a good friend, glider18. I think I should probably leave the two of you in peace to chat here- I don't want to get in the way of your friendship. It's been nice talking with you, nightbender. I hope things improve for you. Jenny

Hi nightbender. I hope jennyishere knows that she is more than welcome to stay here and talk with us. Anyway, I glanced back at some of your posts and found one a few days ago about "leftover negativity." Is there anything negative bothering you now? Again, I am no counselor or anything, but I am just here to talk with you as a friend.

left feelings of being abused and neglected by my parents, some of wich still goes on.