Rants

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I hope I get a job very soon. I'm in desperate need of the money. Some of my needs are very expensive.

I'm exactly the same today as I was 6 years ago, today. I haven't changed at all. It's a good thing for me, but a bad thing for my mum. I sit here in front of the screen. A Germanic war relic leftover from the early 40s. I have no problem with it. I'm sure my mum still has a problem with it. I can't be my mum, I can only be me. I'm only what I am and that's that.

(No one else take this to heart, she's talking to me specifically.)

Just another night where I've come to the conclusion that I am unapproachable, undesirable, kind of gross, f****d in the head, and have very little left to salvage. My sister said she'd do acid with me but she's gonna be out all night with some guy and I probably pissed her off too much earlier.

I don't even want a boyfriend at this point, I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. The only person who makes me feel like that is in another country, so there's my luck. I can't fix anything on my own, no one else cares and no one will help me.

I'll be back.

I was going to clean a bunch of things today, but I got told off for somehow cleaning the litter boxes wrong (AKA I didn't do it exactly the way my aunt wants me to) and told to stop, instead of just letting me "correct" what I was doing, so now I'm just not going to do jack s**t. My cousin has been trying to persuade me to move in with her and now I'm starting to understand why she wants me to. After I learn to drive I might do that because I'm getting f*****g sick of this.

I hate dealing with other people. I wish I could just be alone. I got yelled at by a coworker at work again and ended up crying because I thought I was doing fine working with them. She only needed to work with me because her usual partner wasn't there. I don't get why she couldn't just work by herself if she's going to be a dick to me. Me and another coworker just do that if her partner isn't there and it works out fine. She doesn't invite herself over into my space and then get pissed when my developmentally disabled dumbass doesn't operate like an allistic person. I hope she doesn't do that again tomorrow if her partner isn't there. If she tries to I'm going to flat out tell her I have a neurological disorder that makes it hard to interact with and coordinate things with people, and she can either deal with it or just not work with me instead of being mean to me.

Later I was also visibly in a lot of pain and even with a partner (another lady though because the one from before switched with someone else) people were having me move bins by myself. I got lowkey mad because I mentioned to my aunt at last break that my back hurt so bad I wanted to vomit and my partner overheard me. She just stood there waiting for me to move bins. The lady from before also helped her get clothes out from the bottom of a deep bin (we're both short), but didn't help me which was pretty f*****g petty.

My aunt also yelled at me in the car because I forgot something since I was in pain and asked her a question she already answered. Of course I "don't listen" when I'm in f*****g crippling pain and spent half the day crying because everyone treats me like I'm a ret*d nuisance.

I hate seeing dead animals on the side of the road. I see multiple everyday. Some of them look really decomposed or really destroyed from being ran over and it makes me feel ill every time I see one like that. I always think about how painful it probably was to die like that. I also see cats sometimes and months ago I saw one with a collar.

The British government is useless and becoming dangerous.

They say anyone can hand out antibiotics if they feel like it. This is extremely dangerous to the human race.

They want to arrest 'people who are likely to protest about anything.' That could be anyone, it is very subjective because anyone could be likely to protest.

The Prime Minister has lost all her power and the Chancellor has now taken over leading the country. The British public did not vote for either of them.

Help!

I'm so sick and tired of being treated with suspicion, as if I'm a bad person who people should be wary of.

I've never committed a crime. I've never attacked anyone. I've never stolen anything or driven while drunk or taken drugs.

Instead I've worked with children, animals, disabled people, brought up my baby almost singlehandedly, tried my best to help others, be polite, support charities etc.

So why am I always treated with suspicion and mocked?

^Don't heed those people.

You know what you're about.......

/\Cinderella syndrome, it’s not you that’s mean, it’s your family.
Happy new move and fresh start!!