Rants

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I hate people who smoke right outside of my school. They disgust me - first because its against the rules and quite possibly illegal and secondly because the reek of cigarrettes is awful.

I loathe people who are in line infront of me at a convenience store taking 20 minutes buying every lottery ticket they can get their hands on. Also for the cashier that does not take the people that are in a hurry like store policy says to. I hate people in giant SUVs who randomly slow down to 30 in a 40 zone for 5 miles. I hate it when I go into KFC and they are out of grilled dark meat. I am getting sick of all the glitchers, cheaters, hackers and poor sports in Modern Warfare 2... I swear I got 10 messages to do the 10th prestige cheat earlier tonight. Lately, the local Fox affiliate has been pissing me off because they have been playing the same damn Simpson's episodes from 2007-2009 seasons, I swear I have seen the one where they go to Sundance movie festival 5 times in the last month... All the idiots who try to race my car on the highway, yeah I know you think you can beat my Type-R with your riced out 95 with the Pep-Boys aluminum wing... adios MFer's... People who give me dirty looks when I am driving my Honda, what never seen a Civic before in your life? Yes, my car is modified and yes it IS faster than your mini-van... and no I DON'T want to race your diesel truck. People who do not acknowledge you in a discussion forum despite directly quoting them AND answering the question, what did my post not show up or something? People who hog the left lane... Cops who pull you over and act like they are doing you a favor by "only" giving you a 110 dollar fine for having improperly colored turn signals... come on a fix-it-ticket would have sufficed, but NO... Fast food places that forget your items despite complaining to the manager on three occasions about it... People who tell you to call them and then do not answer their phones... Well that is all I have for now...

I am tired of hearing about theoretical cures and helpful medicines for autism so that we with autism can better interact socially. I don't want to interact socially any more than I have to do already. Being socially awkward doesn't bother me---I absorb into my own world of interests anyway. I find peacefulness and comfort in my interests. My interests were my friends growing up, as a young adult, and now at 45 years old. I look forward living the rest of my life with my interests and my family. But as for the social scene---someone else can have that.

I have heard other people speak of using medicines to help them---that is fine, that is their right. I am speaking for me.

I am not defective---I am different.

I am so incredibly peeved with my 15 year-old sister, her mum, and our dad! Her mother KNEW that she has been sexually active since she was 12 or 13! WTF people! that is way too young! Anyway, I am pissed at my dad for letting his wife walk all over him, undermine his authority, and letting her get away with sneaking out, getting drunk and high, and sleeping with everything that has a penis between the ages of 14 and 40! As a result, she has become her town's doorknob (everyone's had a turn). Her mother is actually happy that her 15 YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER is in labor right now. My poor dad won't do anything because he is afraid that she will hate him, run away, or kill herself. He needs to put his foot down and discipline her. He won't do anything because his wife threatens divorce and to bring up his past and accuse him of things that he has never done and never did in the past anyway! I absolutely refuse to go see him now (I haven't seen him in 20 years 'cause of my mum) because of this. The little brat whines, cries, moans, throw fits, and makes threats when she doesn't get her way. from what I have heard she even smoked off and on throughout the pregnancy! I just don't get it! If she was my kid, she would get the whippin' of a lifetime for that, and would be forced to give the child up! For cryin' out loud guys! She is still a child herself, how could she possibly raise a child? It wold do well to give the child to a good family. It would allow her to grow up as well as the little boy she is in labor with. Will it happen? NO! My dad's reasoning behind it is that he hopes it will make her so miserable with what she is missing out on as her friends are out being normal teens that she will learn responsibility and/or give the kid up for adoption. LIKE HELL IT WILL WORK!! She will just whine and moan and scream and cry until my father (who is in very poor health) volunteers to watch the kid when it is her responsibility. I am so mad about it that I wish that I wasn't in Afghanistan so that I could go to her hospital room and smack the crapola out of her for being so stupid. It doesn't bother me that it is his first grandson (as people accuse me of saying). What bothers me is that she is only fifteen. oh well. That information was just background into why I am practically having a full on meltdown right now. I am so overloaded that I am not able to control how well I type, my grammar, mechanics, punctuation, usage, or spelling. I can't even seem to control if I have sworn in this or not. If I have, then I apologize to the admin. I am freaking out right now, and what I really need is to step outside for a second. thanks for listening to this my first rant.

I hate that I was born this way and that unlike the vast majority of people on this site and pretty much anywhere I could go on the net or in the physical world aren't deprived of the one right of teenage passage that might actually afford the "not so normal" some modicome of normalcy in their life because their eye sight can't be corrected in any way shape or form..

Now I welcome any who wish to to tell me to embrace it, love what god gave me or say what blasting negative thing you can direct at me for unabashedly admitting I loathe being Aspie because I really don't give and my not liking being it myself doen't have any reflection on how I feel about others who are aspies.

I do not like all the judgment that is on this site.
For everyone, and sometimes it is quite obviously hypocritical, where someone posted a list of people they hate.
On this list was 'judgmental people' and 'hypocritical people' and that made them hate themselves double.
Some hate others for not accepting them but in turn do not accept a lot of people.
I do not want to judge these people because I do not know them in any way other than their words.
I do not want them to be so bitter, but I cannot relate, I have not gone through all the things they have and cannot make an honest judgment about them.
I cannot honestly judge about anyone but myself.
I am narrow-minded in a literal sense of the word and I am egocentric and I do not accept criticism from others.
I do not really know the reason for that last thing but I do know that I am not happy with myself because I am very different from when I was younger, behaviour-wise.
I do not like the change that goes on in my head because it is the worst change because I cannot undo it.
But maybe I am not autistic and it was caused by something environmental but I hope that I become as I was when I was younger because that was a better time.

This has somehow turned from a rant into a sad story.

I am so sick of people telling others how to live their frickin' lives. Exactly what right do these type of people have over human lives? Are they really that insecure that they have to tell everyone else to conform to their standards? Everyone has the right to live however they want, even if it means not doing anything. In fact, we don't "have" to do ANYTHING AT ALL! If we want to spend the rest of our lives watching whatever we want, playing whatever we want, eating whatever we want, liking whatever we want, and even being nothing more than a 500 lbs. blob on a couch, we are entitled to do so. The meaning of life varies from person to person, because the meaning of life is subjective to TASTES and OPINIONS! The one thing that everyone has in common is that we are all different. Therefore, we will always think differently from one another and have different perceptions on life. Who is to say which one of these perceptions is the correct one that everyone needs to live by? No one, that's who.

This has been my rant for the day. So long, and have a nice day.

Aggghh - Too much paper. When I was a kid in the fifties my folks had bills for mortgage insurance phone utilities taxes.

Between taking care of some of my mom's accounts (she is 89), my home and my business I have 26 bills every month to keep track of. Now days we have Mortgage, insurance, car, phone, cell phone, 2 utilities, taxes, medical, cable, internet connections, how ever many credit cards, student loans, trash pick-up.

Federal, State, City, and County any licenses, all have their form to fill out yearly, quarterly, monthly plus correspondence when you or they make a mistake which is about another 40 pieces. Information on how to fill out, pay, screw up, changes in policies - gotta keep those receipts or they will come after you.

Reminders from dentists, doctors, opticians, check your mammogram, paps, your blood, get vaccinated, get your pet vaccinated, test results, insurance we paid this.

Ads - ads in everything from instruction manuals to bank statements, credit card offers, changes in card agreements and checks.
Ads in with bills all the bills, newsletters with bills, offers, rebates, 'points" earned from everything.

Stores that each have the 'your special clubs & cards sending offers.
Buy something? you get catalogs, special sales offers

Statements or proxy voting stuff (which is 20 pages of legal crap that I have no idea what they are talking about, don't have time to read or understand ) from any investments,irs, insurances, banks
Colleges - take this course
Churches - we would welcome you
Politic - look what we did for you, vote yes, vote no.
Coupons galore.

You need this, you need that, or you loose out -- give us your money.

I just want to put it all in a pile and burn it.

I know a lot of it is important but sifting through it all to get to the important information you need is a daunting task. Getting the right due date for everything is almost a losing battle.
I have tried every paper organization tip I can find/think of and still I screw up with it all.

The thing that really set me off today was a bill from the home insurance company got put in the wrong pile of papers-- I found out they canceled my insurance after I needed to file a claim for a collapsed patio roof. Guess who's claim is denied - after years of making payments to them.

I guess it's a minor thing, but it's the most recent thing.

I have a sleep disorder; I tend to collapse on a daily basis from exhaustion (my body's OK, but my head is exhausted), and at the same time, I have an extremely difficult time getting back to sleep if I'm woken up at night. 2008 was an absolute hell in this regard, since I just couldn't find a quiet place to rent. I was near suicidal from the exhaustion and pain caused by the lack of sleep.


Last night, some idiot decided it would be a good idea to trespass on the property and bang on the outside wall at 3:00 in the morning. It's bad enough when roommates wake me up on accident, but when someone does it on purpose (probably a teenager who's entire goal was the "fun" derived from inflicting pain on others), yeah, it's annoying. From the lack of sleep, I already have a pretty big headache.

Why do I keep getting myself involved with self-absorbed jerkwards who have themselves (and at first me) thoughroughly convinced that they're not self-absorbed jerkwards?? Why????

I don't look for "projects" I don't want a guy "I can change." So why does this keep happening?? I'm too god damn niave for my own good. I believe what people tell me and trust them *completely* and put my whole self into the relationship and devote all my time, money, everything. I was looking for someone who did the same. And perhaps, to a certain degree, he does. But there's more on top of it. He is so self-righeous and judgemental and completely biased and doesn't even see that he is any of those things!! I don't know how I'm supposed to go through my life with him isolating every single person we ever might have interaction with. He's never going to be able to keep a job, of that I am convinced. I'm not real into friends or a social network of any type so it doesn't much matter to me if I have no connections. However, for some reason HE wants them! He tries to make connections and then systematically sets about destroying them in a great burning apocalypse. If I bring it to his attention, he tells me I'm wrong and thats not how it is and these people don't think that way about him, they like him. Then.. two weeks down the road.. guess what? IT HAPPENS EXACTLY LIKE I SAID IT WOULD. But I'm still wrong according to him and I couldn't have possibly predicted that this would happen, I just got lucky on a random guess. and yet he will tell you that he understands people and he knows what they are thinking and I don't. Nothing that happens in his interaction with people is ever his fault. It's always someone else who pushed him into doing what he did.

I would be happy having no friends and maintaining cordial work relationships in order to sustain my livleyhood. I'd be fine with that. I am, however, NOT fine with him bringing people into our lives and then PUSHING them out and blaming it on them. I can stop myself from being affected by this by not joining into any social groups he gets involved with. I don't need friends. I don't need family. Problem is, I KNOW that this WILL happen with EVERY job he ever manages to get. I can't possibly stop that from affecting me.

My life is over... AGAIN

This such BS. God damn. I need a body guard who will watch me at all times and remind me to never form any emotional attachements. I promise to myself that I won't and then someone comes along again that I believe for some UNKNOWN STUPID ASS REASON. I believe him and trust him and form a bond and then the whole thing starts ALL OVER. Someone, please punch me in the face any time I start feeling a bond with someone?

I cut my arm with my fingernails last night because I don't have a knife. I really wish I had the courage to take myself out of this world.

Many things annoy me. People get really upset with me and I haven't said anything wrong. It's as though I'm communicating with animals because their emotions appear instead of common sense and logic. For hundreds of times people get really angry when I point out their flaws in listening to what I just said, and this was to improve on the situation, and calm them down but instead they become really angry. It's as if they hate being told they didn't understand.

Often people never apologise for being rude to me and saying offensive hurtful things. They become extremely upset if I retaliate and when I apologise (which I always do), they never forgive me. Then they go around telling everyone that I'm "terrible at communicating"! !! I mean, what???

Do I need to make new friends with regular people? After the hassle they keep giving me?

Two years ago I "worked" closely with a group of people and got to know some of them as we were in the same "environment". A woman named Anne was experiencing problems with her husband and teenaged kids. She was always crying and depressed. I comforted her. I offered her advice and just let her talk about her troubles. Well I fell out with my boyfriend one day during a phonecall. This was most upsetting and I felt really down about it. I almost cried and Anne was there in the room. I wanted to talk to her and the moment I started, she became really nasty and told me:
"I have my own problems to worry about! Don't give me yours!"
I said in shock: "What's the matter?" and she screamed at me to leave her alone. Maybe it freaked her out? She ran out and I heard her shouting into the corridor. She was loud voiced in the communal room and I heard her telling everyone about me upsetting her.
Then a senior "staff" supervisor came and coldly said that I was causing trouble for Anne. I tried to explain how there's been a misunderstanding and the woman told me, "Enough! I'm not interested!" She wanted me to drop it. What was this all about, I wondered?
Since then Anne became aloof towards me and avoided me like I was a plague. People were protective of her and some never spoke to me again. None of them told me what exactly this woman said about me or what's going on. So do I need friends with NT people?
Is it possible for them to be friendly towards me?

I hate the part of me that still believes the parade of therapists that told me I was broken and defective. No matter how hard I try, I can still hear the voice that thinks I am a monster, an abomination, every time I fail at anything. I hate the piece of me that is self-destructive. I am so tired of fighting it.

Listen, we aren't at school anymore so stop repeating his name to me constantly like I'm going to respond, I'm just walking faster and faster away from you. I'll sprint if I must! We're glad of the break but it seems people still haven't moved on.

For christ's sake where are you??! ! I've been trying to catch your attention for ages now, I walk past your group purposely all the time. I have to talk to all of you, I know we'd get on like a house on fire!! I'm sick of this now, I'm over half way through the college year and I'm still bored s**tless with nothing to do all the time. My classes have already given up on me, everything I say in RE get's a f*****g reaction and I don't even have a clue what's wrong.

I find the rantings of people who have perhaps 10% of the relevant information to be the most tiring of them all... yes, I realize that you may have been alive when this particular item was being produced, but you haven't spent the past several years researching the history of those items. No amount of explanation on your part is going to change the fact that they didn't make that pattern during that time frame. Similarly, when people start talking about situations outside their own scope of experience as though they know facts instead of hearsay... it's incredibly tiresome as well. Don't you have something better to do with your own life than talk about other people?


M.