Rants

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Been feeling like it for a while.

Yeah I know but just keep posting

OK.

I don't want to tell you how to post Joe but I have seen it before where members have posted in the Haven about members here and it never ends well. I have also seen members post bigotry hoping for protection in the Haven, also doesn't end well. As long as you post within the forum rules you should be untouchable and the mods will protect you from Haven rules being broken.

I should probably add that my comment was not saying that's what you would do (I'm currently having communication issues getting my points across).

Are we mostly victims of our own expectations? I think so. I go to work at this extraordinary, amazing place, somewhere you can really tune in and approach any kind of labour as a creative process. Alas I am outnumbered by a bunch of turgid turd people today, waddling philastines, every one. Slack, grunting dullards. Shifty eyed phone gazers. Human blots on the pristine landscape

I know posting veiled posts about members is not a good idea but I've been told it's fine and isn't against the rules so I'll do it. Or maybe it's one of those rules that only applies to me but not to others.
But don't worry, I understand what you're saying.
I'm actually very good with comprehending what posters mean here, and if I feel their tone (which is invisible I know) is slightly off then I know that they are implying something else, but when I react they say "I didn't say that". But I know and they know what they did mean.

I think the best way to deal with it is to not feed the argument. If it looks like I'm having a "woe is me" moment then it's best to just reply matter-of-factly like you and Babybird did, or just ignore, instead of protesting and name-calling and accusing, because that just angers me further, and it's not like I'm some troll wanting to upset people. It's the last thing I want to do. I hate upsetting people but now I'm frustrated that I demonstrate narcissism here, when I'm indeed not a narcissist. My boyfriend has dated narcissists before and he says he can spot a narcissist a mile away now but he said I have never shown any narcissist traits in the whole 9 years we've been together, and I don't mask with him.
Well, we as humans all show narcissist traits but you know what I mean. So I get frustrated that I seem like a heartless, self-obsessed narcissist here, and especially that two members left because of me. That is a thought that will have me beating myself up for the rest of my life.
But even when I'm avoiding any discussion about politics, I still somehow manage to offend people, just by using analogies or expressing my woes. So now I'm nervous of posting anything. Even this post.

Your boyfriend probably knows you best so you should listen to him and trust his opinion over anyone on the internet.

I think we are all guilty of posting an 'in the moment' reflex comment (Your ADHD only compounds this). I have found the best way to deal with this issue is to type out a long post slagging off everyone to get it out of my system, then delete it (might be best to type it out somewhere else just in case you accidentally post it or get the urge to hit reply), ignore the post that irked me, have a cup of coffee and a fag and come back when I can be more rational (which sometimes take a day). I learnt this technique when working in internet retail and had to deal with muppets (can't tell customers to f**k off now matter how much I wanted to), I am slowly trying to implement it here.

If I'm honest you sound depressed which makes everything worse (ASD/ADHD included) and it can ramp your RSD up to intolerable levels.

Do you talk to your boyfriend about WP, maybe his insight into your issues here may help.

I find it helps to ignore the tone in texting even if you think you might be right. I do this and within a couple of minutes I've forgot what was bothering me because I've moved on to something else.

I just literally read the text and ignore what my mind is telling me about the tone with which it was intended.

Not always, but tone in written text is dependent on your mood.

Yeah that's exactly it.

A prophet is not without honor, except in his (or her) own country, among his (or her) own relatives, and in his (or her) own house.

^ Are you getting s**t at home?

I do, although I just call it "the internet forum I go on".
But mentioning this site often causes a small argument between us (and we hardly argue!) He says I shouldn't go on here if I keep getting upset. But I'm just as addicted to this site as he is the cigarettes. Smoking has caused him to go to hospital a few times with COPD flare-ups but he just can't let the cigarettes go. I don't get on to him about it any more though because if quitting smoking is a hard as quitting an internet forum then I totally understand how addictive it can be even if it's destroying you.

When I posted on impulse here before and got the whole forum mad at me, I went to the ADHD forum I go to (it's not as addictive as this site, as it's less active and not as easy to navigate around like this site). But they all had a go at me too, saying you can't possibly have an impulsive moment on the internet because you have time to think before you post. But impulse doesn't always work like that, especially when addiction is involved. It's a bit like when people (even without ADHD) go on to Amazon and start impulse-buying even though they have a small budget. They could think before they buy but they don't, especially that shopping on Amazon is easy and is done at one click or tap.

It seems that my social instincts kick in when I'm interacting offline or even on Facebook, but here I just become carried away at tapping. Also I forget that there's a wider audience reading my posts here, and I use this place as a sort of blog or diary. Yes I've tried writing an actual blog before but it just didn't feel as enjoyable as writing here, so I ended up losing interest and deleting my blog account.

What types of things do you feel like you can’t rant about here?

I know what you meant but this made me lol. I, too, just need a fag sometimes.

Well as a lot of people on WP also have adhd then why don't you use this site to get support for that.

I also have impulse control issues and sometimes it is difficult. I had a fight in a pub because of it on Friday night and it could have turned nasty for someone. My T is already doing his best to keep me out of trouble and I could easily have been calling him from jail yesterday instead of going to see him in person. Also on WP the other week when Misslizard had to stop me from doing something that would have lead me into disciplinary action. I really had to work hard to not do what my impulse was itching for me to do.

Impulse control for adhd or aspd sucks but at some point it does become our responsibility to keep ourselves in check.