1001 Things Not To Do Around NTs...

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Share an amusing mental picture with them.

Well I think this is the case. It is mentioned on Juno, though she doesnt specifically say librarian... then again Ive seen music videos and TV shows with hot librarians that a man was trying to seduce.

The movie "It's a Wonderful Life" the Christmas classic with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed shows Donna's character, had Jimmy's character 'never been born' as a strict 'old maid' librarian had she not met up with Jimmy's character.

Also in another iconic movie "The Music Man" ( the song '76 Trombones' is from that movie) "Marion the Librarian" is the female lead, going from uptight libes matron to release her innner hottie..

Evidently the 'thill' for the guy is the seduction with the payoff being the woman is debauched. I tried to find a less loaded word for debauched, but when I read the definition, it was correct for the situation.

Don't say you're depressed all the time, or you will get labeled an Emo/Goth.

I once had a crowd of high school kids mockingly sing that song at me as I went by with my arms full of library books.

but Marion turned out to be GREAT! She got the guy and inspired Harold Hill to be a better man! As I look back on my life I see a lot of things I got teased about was really taken badly by me, and had I had another way of seeing it I might have taken it as a compliment.

I met my husband because of a book I was carrying. So glad I carried it.

What's so wrong with being a librarian? I would definitely have loved to be one (in fact, my paternal grandmother who died before I was born actually was one).

So there's hope for a literary nerd, after all? Glad to hear it!

I actually met one of my (many) ex's because he was interested in the book I was reading. I was sitting amongst a group of people who were all talking and I just looking through my book. It was, as I remember, a book about Van Gogh's art, and life, called "The Passionate Eye".

Well, I never thought anything was wrong with being a librarian. Those kids were from the popular, NT crowd at school, and probably thought that they were being insulting. Little did they know that I took it as a compliment. The discomfort came from getting all of that unwanted attention.

When you get down to it, NTs socialize for self-affirmation, all the don'ts are pointing to that.

Another generalization that I have seen plenty of examples are to the contrary. Not all NTs are self centered.

This is a weird one, that I only learnt the other day;

if an NT makes a 'half-joke' (i.e. they give out about you 'hogging' a particular chair, but in an over-the-top-'I'm only joking' kind of way), don't say 'do you want to sit down?' because they will always say 'no, no, of course not....I was only joking...', when in reality, what they wanted was for you to quietly vacate the chair without saying anything....

Basically, act like it's a joke, but take the message seriously

at least, that's what I was told by a friend, when I told him about a particular incident

(backfired later on with another person; I asked did she want to sit down nd she said no, & then I realised I should have said nothing, so I got up and stood beside it.. I think she was a little confused...)

Luckily not all NTs play these mind games; I certainly have no plans to kowtow to them anymore; it's insulting to the other people who aren't chosing to play them.

but it is not mind games to them They literally don't know any different, as they have met, what, ZERO other folks like you? The vast majority in life have rarely considered that there are other people on this world that are not wired just like them. Oh, sure, had you had a PHYSICAL disability and had to sit, they would have made accommodations, but they have no clue that you have a different mind that sees things differently about the social transaction and exchange. My point is, they will rarely understand about you 'not kowtowing' to their neurology, will be confused about your hostility towards their acting 'normally' in the situation and think you a muddled crank if you try to explain after they have been socially embarrassed. Even worse is when they ask for the opinion of others of their neurology and they all give you the eye roll.

just sayin'

I think in that instance, not all NTs would have reacted that way; it was a little more mind-gamey than I've experienced before (although, maybe I just haven't noticed the other ones). I wasn't rude or anything, I just asked her if she wanted the chair, and she started going on a stupid play-rant (*sarcasm*"oh, no, I wouldn't dream of it.. you keep the chair, it's okay...."*/sarcasm*) and five mintutes later, when I borrowed back my pen to fill in a form (she had taken my other one), it was; "oh, so now you're taking my pen, fine, be like that....".

Jeezus, the woman was at least 35, and acting like a toddler. I explained that it was a. my pen, and b. I was only borrowing it because she was currently using the one on my desk, but she still continued on and on. It backfired a bit, when I went to return it; I just put it on her desk and said 'here's the pen' because the boss was in her office with her; it turned out he was in the room next door the entire time of the rant, so she was at pains a few minutes later to let me know it was 'just a silly joke'

I've never experienced that before, but then again, I've had little experience in an office environment... I believe you when you say that people like that often don't think they're playing mind games, but are most NTs seriously like that?

WardenWolf wrote:

My boss always brings her two dogs to the office. I was chatting with her today and when there was a brief lull in the conversation I thought I'd say hello to the dogs. So I looked down and woofed. My boss just started laughing and said "What?!"- She was trying to relate it to what we had been talking about.