done just done could really use a hug.

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What do you have the 2 year degree in?

And people who list on Craiglist are not always honest, and some might have a screw loose somewhere. They are not a good representative of the actual population.

QFT
One must be careful in choosing one's sample population.

I have to learn my internet acronyms. I had to Google QFT. I found out that it means "quoted for truth."

Did you think I was cursing you? Lol

Now....why would you do that?

I thought it was an internet acronym which I didn't know yet.

well it also use the hundreds of women proflies on okc and pof.

its in automotive technology. ie mechanic.
but it turns out loud noises are sensitive to me and make me blink. I tend to be slower then others, and have bad anxiety about hurting cars. pluse they all yell at each other. yelling makes me want to cry and hide.


so not sure if I should reply to that lady.
I mean I'm not good. I ugly and don't have a "real: job. I also suck at sex.

You have one advantage over me: Your height.

I'm 5 foot 5. I've spoken to many woman who state they want a guy at least a couple of inches taller than them.

There are MANY women these days who are in the 5 foot 7 range, or above.

true but I also have other disadvantages. Ive never had any woman consider my height a good thing.

it seems they want an all around perfect guy. so if a guy is tall but fat its pass. skiny but short pass. etc.

at least that's what it feels like.

i am ugly, a bit fat, no real job, own a old car, rent a house with family.

those seem to out weigh all the good about me.

I'm just not into being fit and playing sports. I never will be.

feeling really sh***y

I feel like i should stop looking and hoping for love cause I have too much wrong with me.
I feel horrible. should i die?

whats that mean?

I don't know if I'm supposed to say stuff like this in 'The Haven', but I honestly don't understand how anyone expects to better their situation if they aren't hit with the cold, unsweetened truth eventually. So, here goes.

Did you really think people would jump on here and tell you, 'Yes, you're right! You'll never find love, so of course you should die!' I'm pretty sure you didn't. What you wanted was for people to feel sorry for you andtell you it isn't so, only so you could argue, 'Yes it is! Look at all these things that are wrong with me!'

I've held my tongue [fingers] for a while, but I'm getting pretty fed up now.

For one thing, not finding love isn't a reason to die. It sucks hairy lollipops to get rejected. I know. But it's not the end of the world. You're only twenty-six, anyway. You don't know that you'll never find love, but wallowing in self-pity is sure as heck not going to help your case. It's not attractive to a potential lover or friend.

This is coming from the queen of self-loathing. Several nights ago a friend of mine got angry with me to the point where she wrote:


Although she was kind of right, I certainly didn't like the delivery, and I wasn't having a pity party, but rather venting to someone about the months of pain I had been caused. I was venting to her because she didn't seem to understand how I was feeling?or the fact that she could have helped me by talking to a certain someone for me...

Anyway, it sounds as if other people are understanding your problems just fine, while also comforting you. Though I think both of us could use my friend's advice (even if I can't talk to her about feeling depressed without being told to 'shut up' and 'stop having stupid pity parties'), I would definitely omit the last thing she wrote.


(I find this ignorant and very dismissive.)

But the point is, you should stop having pity parties, maybe find a hobby or special interest to throw yourself into. It's okay to talk about your problems?don't feel like I'm telling you to 'shut up' the way my friend did, because I was honestly just trying to vent?but when you say things like 'I want to die', that's too much. That's self-pity.

I know it's hard, but try thinking positively of yourself. I saw one of your dating profiles (I think you posted a link somewhere on WP), and I liked that you had listed positive attributes about yourself, which is good. I understand if you're not an optimistic person?I myself am a proud pessimist?but kicking yourself the way you are now will get you nowhere.

I said it cause It's how I feel. I can keep it repeating in my head building or I can say it out. just saying it to someone helps.
I don't have many people to talk to. I don't even speak with my voice very often as I'm alone in my room 90% of my life. The unfortante truth is while talking to people online helps. It'll never be filling as interacting with people in rl. to talk with my voice and do things.

i don't seek other people saying nice things. It helps a little I guess to battle the internal thoughts built up by negtive comments and self beleifs. I don't believe all what people say. people can never understand what its like from my view.

seems to be the general comment you're only 22 you have tons of time, you're only 26 tons of time. I have 9 years left. people tell me I won't find anyone. the person I considered my best friend told me that for years.
non of my self pity as you call it shows in person. I come across as confident, funny, joyful, good guy to be around. only 4 of the people and then people here know the depressed me. conceal don't feel, that and I am generally more happy when around others.
I do not discuss my bad stuff in person via voice and when i do get really bad I go silent and hide.

I've had that said to me. to be honest it would be best for people to not become a close friend to me, they'll never know my troubles. I seek communication about my issues with close friends. well they tend to push the how are you . its their fault.

its hard to be positive when I feel so alone, then get told how bad I am by multiple sources, and see no way out. I try hard I do things that make me uncomfortable. I'm told I'm awful and worthless and should die. can't help but examine it and see they are right.

people saying bad hings sinks in more then the few saying good things. its been compounded for years and years.

i imagine it must be nice for those people constantly positive enforced though out their life.
instead I've been told what i can't do. and whats wrong with me.

like sex, its a big part of relationships, if you aren't good it will end relationships. and I get told I won't be good, so then how can i possible be in one:(

Listen, you have actually managed to do very difficult things, like losing 8 sizes. That is an accomplishment!
You are naturally pear shaped. Well, that is a rather healthy shape. Don´t be sorry about that.

Who on earth told you, that you are bad and should die? Who told you, that you can´t become good at sex?
Someone must have done a good job tearing you down early, or you wouldn´t be, where you are.

Yes, there are people, who seem to recieve reinforcement all the time. They hear bad things too, but they have an ability to focus on the good stuff, - the nourisment.
They can accept the positive and let go most of the negative. There is no use for it.
´"people saying bad things sinks in more than the few saying good things". Ay, there is the rub.
As an aspie you have this obsessive mind, that plays off negative thoughts in a loop, unless you do feed it with something better.
The mental focus is like a muscle. It can be trained to work in one or the other direction. Changing the pattern may be easier for some, than for others, but it can be done.

I am not telling you: "Think positive-think positive", because that is a totally superficial exercise and it doesn´t work, if you are depressed or in a serious self-crisis.

You have to build up your self esteem slowly, because you have spent so many years telling yourself, that you are worthless.
Intelligent people have the worst time with that, because they invest all their reasoning ability in proving their worthlessness to themselves.
You are so low now, that you have to start from scratch. There is no quick fix.

You may have heard this so often, it makes you puke, but nevertheless:
Note one good thing about yourself every day, and write it down, - even if it makes you sqirm. Nothing is too small to be noted! See it as a medicine, you have to take.
Don´t listen to that inner critique. It is not you. It is the internalized "others", - your critical super-ego, if that word means anything to you.

Note and write down one good experience/feeling or whatever each day. Nothing is too small. (It is still medicine, you have to take).
It will prepare your focus for the good things. It is a hard exercise, but it works slowly.

If you have a special interest, you probably have a special talent there. Use it every day! Make a big deal out of it, because it is.

Do these things a month every day, and then have a look around....then one more month, and one more.

Being social seems to come easy for you, which is a very good quality to have. It means, that you are able to make others feel good.
Go and seek some new friends, - ones , you can share interests with. The ones you have don´t sound very supportive.

friends.

I lasted 5 mins or less the two times I had sex, while some here said it was my first time and normal , but then this lady friend told me nope she had sex with a virigin and he lasted way longer, and women won't want me bc I don't last long. then she wants to help me find sex buddy on cl, why if i am terrible at sex and women won't want that will anyone want to have sex with me. she then gets mad at me for saying that

idk about that stuff. as for my special interests I am not good at them. thats one of the wrong stereotypes about aspies. not everyone has a special talent that they are fantastic at. some people have the idea that all autistics are great musicians, artists, or scientists. I am not great at anything. I have things I enjoy doing, but Im not great at. I love videogames but i lose and die alot, I love firearms, but I'm not a great shot. makes me feel like Im a sucky aspie

I like making people happy. I can make people laugh. over all Im just good at things, ut not great.

I know I have good things about me. I use to think they made me a good person who could make a gf very happy. but everyone points out the bad things about me that are out of my control.