People here on WP are making me feel horrible about myself

Post Reply New Topic

Can someone explain to me why Quiet dove is getting told off so much in this thread in the Haven?

I'm not complaining about you OOM, you seemed pretty mean to her in PPR but that's over now. But if you read this and understand, I don't get it.

Why is this happening?

I agree. This is supposed to be a place to be helped to feel better, not to start saying "a haven isn't reality" or anything negative. I mean really, that's the last thing quiet needs at the moment. I'm pretty oblivious to emotions a lot of the time but even I can see she is hurt and doesn't need anything that'll make her feel even worse. These type of comments play no part here.

I haven't seen anyone jump on her here. I've seen people post to try and explain things to her so maybe that will bring her some comfort and see that nobody is trying to make her feel worthless. Explaining things usually goes a long way towards making most people feel better, but it seems that all she's wanting in this thread is to just have people agree with her that I'm a horrible person who needs to be at the very least banned, and most likely publicly whipped and punished and told repeatedly how awful I am until I break down in tears and lose any and all self esteem that I may have ever had. I mean, my mere presence was horrible enough to cause her to leave when I was simply trying to explain things and make her feel better. Obviously the only thing that will help her is to talk about what an evil malicious person I am and how I was unbelievably horrible to her and said the worst things that anyone has ever said to anyone else in the history of time.

If you want to talk about how careless someone is about someone else's feelings, I argued and said harsh things in PPR about a topic and someone's position on it, I did not start a thread about what a terrible person someone else on here was and fish for insults toward them and blame them for my own problems. I also tried to help here, but being such a horrible person, I obviously couldn't.

No You're not a horrible person OOM I've had a debate with you in the past but I didn't take it personally even though I can be thin skinned at times (I'm not afraid to admit it) I feel WP is a support forum its a shame this is happening.

My own experience of being called "racist" and, most recently, made a mockery suggests strongly to me, at least, that WrongPlanet.net is far from anything approaching supportive. Because of my 33 years of work in LGBT politics, I have been publicly called a lot of things for various reasons, but, I haven't seen such consistent hostility and humiliation since my public-school years. Bullies abound.

I don't think that it's actually happening to the extent that it's being played up right here to be happening. I went and looked at the thread on Random that was supposedly doing the same thing and could literally find nothing insulting. I think maybe she's blowing everything out of proportion, and I don't think she's neccessarily doing it on purpose either. However, I do think it's entirely out of proportion now.

I'm not saying she's making it up about her feelings nor am I minimizing them. I'm only saying that even though she may very well be feeling the way she is, it doesn't seem anything anyone is doing is helping her and it also doesn't actually make anyone else into the evil bully they are played as here.

I was also called "Racist" on here by somebody just because I said that Islam is causing a lot of problems here in Australia when they make demands about Halal and numerous other things.

Isn't this defense what was once common among male coworkers who argued that the mild innuendo tossed around the workplace had only humor behind its intent?

Unfortunately, welcome to the club.

Not at all. Read what I said. Read the post in Random. See for yourself. I also know exactly what I meant by what I said and my intent, which wasn't to make her feel horrible about herself and ruin her week over a discussion in PPR, which from this thread seems to be what happened. If you can't see the lack of proportion that I'm talking about then I don't know what to tell you. Again, I'm not trying to minimize her feelings, not at all. Depression, which she says she has, can cause you to blow things way out of proportion and that may be what happened. I tried to talk to her about it in another post on this thread, but since she has to leave the forum because I posted in this thread I'm sure she didn't read it.

This is not at all the same thing as a middle age guy with a combover saying dirty things to his secretary and then trying to laugh it off when it's obvious she's not only not interested in him, she's also offended.

OOM i thought a lot of you for trying to be kind to Quiet Dove once you saw she was upset. It seems to me this thread has been turned into an argument and when i and one other poster wrote that it's troubling to see people (other people not you) jumping all over the OP in the Haven, that wasn't a criticism of you, you weren't.

I really wish we (not you OOM but all of us) could be kinder to Quiet and I don't think you OOM look like a fool for trying to be kind, how she responds is up to her.

Maybe I just don't get what is happening here, sometimes I miss signs someone is out to start trouble, but I'm doing my best to figure out what's going on and I am just not seeing things any other way. It seems to me Quiet got upset, she was told her concerns were not legitimate, and I don't think it's reasonable to use subsequent sensitivity to prove she was wrong in the first place, because it doesn't prove that at all. All it proves is that right now she is very sensitive.

Thread locked on OP's request.