Girlfriend barred from entering US :(

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Turkey is circling the drain. They're getting pulled into the mess with Syria and ISIS. Not a great time to move there.

I don't think so. I'll be dependent on my parents. If they are resentful, it will be due to her choice not to immigrate to the US. It won't be my fault. In the US I can at least work on becoming financially independent. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do in Turkey. I can get a certificate to teach English, but that isn't a career. I have a degree in Meteorology. Do they need English speaking meteorologists in Turkey? I have no idea. I know the unemployment rate is around 10%.

Maybe something will happen that will convince her to move to the US. Maybe Erdogan will ban the internet or do something really stupid. He already blocks facebook periodically. Maybe there will be more and more terrorist attacks. I don't want to wish something bad, but I just don't think living in Turkey long term will be helpful. Even if I do get an income it might end up being less than what I get from disability now in the US.

It looks like moving to Turkey and marrying is my only choice. If I don't commit she thinks I'm abandoning her. There's no way I can convince her to move to the US now. I'm scared and stressed but at this point I feel I have no choice but to take a risk. I don't think I have much to lose.

I really need some support now. It seems like nobody is responding.

hey man, if you love each other then go for it

Turkey has problems but it isn't Saudi Arabia, maybe being with her would convince her to come to the US eventually. If you are married then I am sure it would be a lot easier to get a VISA.

Thanks man. I'm just so stressed over it. I think she just doesn't want to talk about coming to the US right now. I guess just too attached to her family at the moment. I can't bring it up without shutting down the conversation. I do love her and don't want to lose her. She feels the same. We both fell apart the last time the conversation went south.

She is okay with the plan that I she applies for residency in the US and I apply for residency in Turkey. The areas we are considering moving to in Istanbul are progressive compared to the rest of the country. The ISIS threat is definitely much higher than in the US, but I just have to consider I have equal chances of being hit by a car. Might just stay away from the big foreign tourist traps in the cities.

I'm more concerned about my health. I really will need an understanding psychiatrist who speaks good English. I'm very dependent on medications right now. It sucks, but it might be for the rest of my life. I think most educated people do speak English. At least that's what I'm told. Also, we both have depression (she's actually bi-polar I think). Just hope we can support each other. Another big concern is finding work other than teaching English.

This all sounds really scary. I wish you all the best and wish I had something useful to say. Just thought you should know that at least someone's still reading your posts.

I think it's a question of you doing your research or asking a lot of questions about Turky and your work prospects, and also weighing the other pros and cons. As for the doctors, maybe you could get someone to translate by phone? I know those services exist in the U.S.

Perhaps if you were married then her family could eventually immigrate too? Turks are a very nationalistic people but with the direction the country has been trending I think a lot of people might want to leave. YOLO is a stupid saying but it is true, if you tapped out now then you might regret it the rest of your life but it definitely understand how scary this is. I would just try to think of it as an adventure with somebody you love, in the grand scheme of things what's a few years in Turkey versus the rest of your life in regret? I just hope obviously this love is genuine and enduring, that's the most important thing above all else isn't it? Who knows maybe you'll love it there and never want to come back!

How did you two meet if you don't mind me asking?

I wouldnt recommend moving to Turkey. Not a good place for Aspies to go. Which area is she from? If Istanbul, Bursa, Erzincan or Tunceli, it might still be okay.

Have there been any new developments with you and your girlfriend? Wishing you both well.

I was thinking about this today and the advice I gave, it's an awful situation what is going in Turkey so hopefully all is as well as it can be at this challenging time. Hopefully things calm down in the country soon!

She is from Zonguldak (in the north, on the Black Sea), but we will be living in Istanbul.

We are still planning on living in Istanbul. She is now open to moving to the US if things get bad.

Thanks. She says things are pretty much back to normal. There are a lot of highly educated international people living in Istanbul. Everything is pretty normal if you just ignore the national politics. You have to be careful what you post on the internet, but in everyday life you are pretty free. There is a lot of fear when it comes to politics, but I don't think Turkey is going to turn into Iran any time soon.

Life in the US will probably be the same next year. You'd best ignore national politics and take comfort in the fact that the US won't turn into Russia anytime soon.