Seems the hating on lonely single men is coming back

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If a guy isn't angry, but is extremely depressed about a particular rejection, what would that mean?

People chat here all the time to random strangers. I wouldn't expect a man I didn't know (unless he's drunk) to approach me at night if there weren't other people about and I would think it a bit odd if someone stepped out in front of me as I was walking and started a conversation, but other than that it's very common. I have been asked out in the street but that was a while ago and I don't recommend it. I think the important thing is what you're saying. If it's the kind of thing you could say to anyone then it's fine, and they're rude if they don't respond. If it's something you would only say to a woman you find attractive, don't say it.

Wow. I am being serious here, boo. It seems that your own social impairment is preventing you from seeing that people do in fact meet in public for the first time, share a moment, a smile, a greeting, an introduction, a conversation.. and then agree to exchange contact information and meet again.

My cousin Danny saw a pretty girl at a bus stop near where he was working downtown as a Realtor. He went back to that area every day for a couple weeks until he saw here again just to talk to her. Fast forward a handful of years and they're happily married and their baby daughter is a couple years old.

These are not myths or fairytales. People meet at random in public and talk to each other.

Yes, dating sites and apps are incredibly common vs. the stereotypical 1950's teenager asking a girl out on a date, but that doesn't mean it's taboo to strike up a conversation in public with a stranger and then decide to exchange contact information and meet again for a first date. These things still happen every single day - just maybe not to you if you're unable to communicate appropriately with women like that.

Rejection is depressing so this is natural and understandable.

Generally a good rule of thumb for keeping things PG vs. crossing the line into R rated, but what if a guy wouldn't say hi to random women he didn't find attractive and he would say hi to start a conversation with one he did find attractive? What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with a heterosexual man having a heterosexual agenda of striking up conversations with women he finds attractive in hopes that she might return the signal and agree to exchange contact information and/or go on a date.

This assumes that both are comfortable with this and that's not always the case. I agree it can work, but it takes the ability to read someone else well to know that. Plenty of NT's get this wrong too.

It assumes nothing.

If a woman isn’t attracted to a guy she’s under no obligation to exchange contact information or agree to a date. She’s not even obligated to carry on a conversation. She could respond with a simple “Hi.” In return and leave it at that. Or should could have a brief conversation and then do the classic cliche thing of giving him a fake name and number of she felt so inclined to provide contact info but was not interested in him - this happens all the time in the bar scene.

But there is literally no possible way for a guy walking down the street to know if a woman he finds attractive might also find him attractive unless he stops and starts a conversation and finds out for himself by asking in an indirect way. There is literally nothing wrong with a guy initiating conversation with a pretty girl in hopes that she might be interested in him. He’s not a mind reader; that’s why he’s to politely engage in conversation and test her interest levels without being a creep. If she’s interested, she’ll let him know by exchanging contact info and agreeing to meet in the future. If she’s not, she won’t, and single guy moves on to try his luck another day with another woman who may reciprocate signals of attraction. But to suggest that a guy should never start a conversation or ask a girl out unless he already knows she’s attracted to him is absurd. A guy misses 100% of the shots he doesn’t take & ought to be encouraged to put himself out there and find out if someone he fancies is into him, too. Just do it appropriately vs like some horned up creepy weirdo.

A woman is not expected to respond. She is checking out how to get away from him. Why do you think we carry mace? Do you listen to the news at all? If I'm alone in an elevator at night and a man gets on, I get off and take another elevator. A few streets away from me, a woman stayed and got stabbed. My friend allowed a conversation as she walked in the street and got dragged into the greenery and raped. A woman shouldn't even allow eye contact. Duck into a store or a church or a taxi and if he follows, call 911. That's what it's like here. Maybe other cities are different. I lived in a village for a year and things were the other way around. "Good morning" to almost everybody. That village had a population of 3,000.

Yep. In smaller towns, people do say hi to each other, and strike up conversations with each other.

Much more so than many parts of cities---where there are people who seek anonymity for the wrong reasons. People should be more wary in cities. Especially after dark.

I would never block the path of a woman while I'm talking with her. I give women space when I talk to them. At least like three feet.

How do you feel about this statement ^ now that three women here have pointed out flaws in your heterosexual logic

Who has pointed out what flaws?

Did I stutter or something? I stand by what I said 100%. There is nothing wrong with a heterosexual male striking up a conversation with a girl he’s attracted to in hopes that she might be interested in him. Obviously don’t be a jerk, a creep, or a rapist etc - but those things should go without saying, at all times.

The flaw is: You think it's fine but 3 women have said otherwise , I'm pretty sure it's not just those 3 who feel that way either. Some women don't want this attention but f**k em , you're 100% right

Three socially anxious/impaired autistic women are not representative of women in general. If a NT woman isn’t interested in conversing with some guy that says hello to her she will politely reject his advances. Women are not all so antisocial that they fear any sort of initiation of communication from a human of the opposite sex. This is reality. I see it every day. I observed it for several years as a bar tender. Get out into the social world and pay attention.

You’re mixing the bar scene with the street scene; it’s not the same.

The bar is a social venue, it's well lighted, women are with their friends, there are guards, waiters, bartenders , people....all around.

The street is not a social venue (nor the bus or subways). How the hell you are even equating these two venues?

And honestly, I don't buy your cousin story, I bet there's an untold part in it, maybe they chit chatted in the same bus stop for a long while while waiting for bus and so a rapport flourished, .... ok, this may happen, usually there are always other people around in bus stops too - but it's not the same as a guy chasing a woman in the street, and asking her out a woman suddenly.

I did not say Only at bars. It happens Also at bars. It happens at the beach, on the street, at coffee shops, on the bus, on the train, at parks, at the office. Anywhere social humans happen to be socializing in any capacity.

No. That is the story. I didn't fabricate it. It's how they met. He saw her, returned daily around the same time until he got a chance to meet her, greeted her, introduced himself, struck up a conversation and the rest is history. I met their baby girl a few weeks ago for the first time - she's just as real as the story of how they met. The story isn't yours to "buy," or reject or whatever. I'm not selling it. I'm only telling it. It is what it is.

So what if there were or weren't other people around at the bus stop? Maybe there were, maybe there weren't.. you're acting very, very, strange about two adult human beings of the opposite sex meeting each other for the first time at random in public and the guy then pursuing said girl etc. This is a VERY normal thing among NT heterosexuals. If men didn't pursue women then there wouldn't be anymore babies. Just because Tinder is a thing doesn't mean that all humans are required to meet each other via a smartphone app. Get real, boo. People still meet each other at random in the produce aisle of grocery stores. Or other places.

NOTHING is the same as a guy "chasing a woman in the street and asking her out suddenly." Wow. The image that brings to mind would be exactly what I said not to be: a weirdo, creep, or rapist. A man pursuing a woman with a friendly greeting, introduction, and striking up a conversation is not the same as some guy running down the street drooling as he shouts "she perdy!! !! !" before he jumps out in front of her to say "U date me? Panties, drop 'em?" I mean F, boo. I said be a normal civil sane gentleman about it, not some weird creep chasing some scared woman down a dark alley at night and picking up the pace as she does. Big difference. Learn it.

Honestly, your stubbornness is as thick as a brick.

You must be insane or living in an alternate reality to think that all these places are social venues for strangers to chit chat; as far as I know the bar is the only venue for that.

At the beach and coffee shops may happen via social networking ie. friends of friends; but I see no guys striking with women they don't know at the beaches.







Yeah, and I am now a millionnaire.




You're making it sounds as if Public places and Tinder are the only two exclusive areas where relationships emerges, either this or that - you're totally wrong and far from reality, these are the very least two, and the public place is certainly the very least one of the two. Most relationships happen via social networkings (socialization via friends of friends, friends of family...etc), college and workplaces.






A guy who goes back to the same spot everyday just to find a girl he liked visually, does sound pretty much like chasing to me.
That if your story is totally true the way you're telling it, which I still highly doubt.

If you suddenly say a Hi to a woman in the middle of street just to introduce yourself, no matter how gentlemanly and charming your words come out - it is still a very very odd thing to do.