Panic attacks.

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I'll definitely do something about it. At least I got out of work a bit early today. For what it's worth I'm testing civil engineering & architecture CAD stuff so that's a decent distraction but it's not entirely sufficient.

I'm seeing some friends tonight anyway so I guess I'm glad I was wrong. I suppose I'm the weird thing happening I don't really think I'm agoraphobic but anxiety sure makes things seem like it.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

happens to me quite often. we have a f*****g procedure set up on dischord, code words and stuff, for friends to take care of me when im like that (or otherwise, in some cases)

The longer I spend at home the less I want to go out.

I'm with you there. I'm afraid the same thing is happening with me at work, I'm from a generation of interns. I'm baffled about how I just managed my week at all. It was probably naught but a combination of plants, beer & crazy pills (in that order).

I'm no longer all natural 100% organic human & people say I'm a better person that way. Good thing my beer tastes are generally pesticide free & aren't GMO.

Bleh. That's enough drinks for a while though. I should switch to plants for the most part.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I think i feel much the same as you, having caved in to the prescription painkiller.
Like you've betrayed yourself a bit.
But they did help, they gave me enough of a break that I could manage to uncrazy myself, now I can focus on more natural methods.

there is no betrayal of self. the reason im not doing neuroleptics OR painkillers is pure traumatic, not any belief stuff. u can do it, get it easier, well, its better that way. seriously. it can help and it can help a lot if selected right. (ofc gotta be a doctor selecting). this s**t wont go away, but it can be made managable. just need some routines to keep it in check...

Hi. Hope everyone is feeling okay today. If not, you still can. This said, I suggest to google "marijuana psychosis"; "marijuana anxiety" and especially "marijuana panic attacks." You may find some of the information very helpful. (I used to smoke a lot of marijuana many years (decades) ago, every day for fifteen years, but it was not as strong then.) I have five very severe panic attacks a few years ago and thought I was having a psychotic breakdown. These panic attacks were terrifying beyond description. Then a couple of years later I had some minor panic attacks (still very unpleasant verging on terrifying) around paying bills--had the money---it just was around like writing the rent check and mailing it, that kind of thing. That is when I began to study myself and gain insight into how panic attacks work. Very interesting, actually, and I will share this either here or on another thread on the general autism discussion," the reality of repetition for autistics." Already wrote some stuff there which relates to this subject and will be writing more, maybe or maybe not today,about my compulsive desire to scream and actually screaming. Anyway, the main point is that the way the mind/brain works is that certain experiences can overlaps and one "thing," such as memory or a sensation can become related to some other mental chain and trigger a certain exotic response that becomes conditioned and I guess this can create a kind of self-reinforcing loop, so a solution is to create another kind of relationship within oneself. Not that articulate here, but the gist is to consciously take steps to break this panic creating kind of loop amd make new patterns within ones functioning. I will explain in the future my limited but still hopefully helpful understanding about how to do this.

i dont smoke. and even if cberg does, its not about that.

maybe not....it is just something to possibly consider....different factors can play into creating certain affects....did you google the links i suggested?

i know exactly what is happening to me and why.

Interesting response, Serpentari, and a good learning opportunity for me. Personally, I have known some pretty elucidating stuff about myself and my own functioning, but certain understanding became more comprehensive as I got older--am a senior now, not that this means I understand that much, though, according to my own opinion, at least, I might.. Some of the writings on this thread have really touched my heart and I am writing here to share. Maybe someone can use something I have to say. Anyway, some of the ways I was thinking about myself over the years which felt very real and true to me were definitely throwing me off track (but I didn't know that at the time); however not implying this is you, as I don't know you or the op or anyone here, for that matter.

IN fact I do not really know that much about other people's panic attacks or meltdowns. it is all subject of interest and possible self-inquiry for me-- the dynamics of my own screaming impulse and sometimes sheer unadulterated terror, and also am interested in what other people are experiencing. One thing I do know is that no one wants to suffer, and most people---I will assume probably all of us here--do not want other people to suffer either. Getting engaged in trying to in some way to help myself, and also, at the same time, maybe helping other people to feel better, always seems to help me.

The marijuana thingy I was just throwing out as something to look at, as I like to be a sleuth, and this activity has been very fruitful in the past. I do know that someone in my family when a teenager had a psychotic episode brought on by smoking marijuana and was hospitalized because of it. Actually, another thing to possibly look at is alcohol. I find the day after drinking my mind is much more scattered, even though I am cold sober, and sometimes because of this it is more difficult to make certain mental connections, and this can cause panic, if not an actual panic attack, but maybe this is because I am older. Anyway, because of this I do not like to consume alcohol, even a small amount, if I have some kind of complex mental work that might cause me anxiety the next day, such as, for example, filing a tax return or filling out certain applications etc.

ps. Just saw there is another message on this board which I have not read yet. Will respond to that later.

I suppose I might as well explain that I live somewhere full of herb dispensaries so I've learned to discern what will make me anxious & what will chill me out. Same goes for drinking, at most I'll have a few beers in a month; it's clear to me when they'll relieve anxiety or amplify it.

I'm no less bonkers when I'm sober, I know because I stick to non-psychoactive hemp stuff pretty often.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

ya, scary stuff. many ppl do try to mediate it that way and i dare not say whatever it is or not a good idea. a psycho gotta do what a psycho gotta do. my coping habits are not exactly good either. and maybe even more self destructive. as in, being a compulsive comfort eater, for example. we cope as we do.

ceberg wrote: "I'm not all that concerned with cause and effect s much as preparedness...."

This makes perfect sense to me. I tend to get lost in analyzing details, maybe because I am addicted to doing this, or this is just how my brain works. Yes, focusing on preparedness would be better. I like to stretch things out when I communicate, as it is possible to factor in other maybe subtle data that way, kind of like starting from both ends of the stick and then coming to the middle, but for some, even me, maybe, it ends up losing the forest for the trees. If you care to share, what would preparedness be? Do you mean stuff like being mindful, taking good care of the body, having a support community in place? If so, or not so, could it (also) be learning ahead of time, or practicing to be able to apply a certain kind of antidote?

I have something called hypnagogic hallucinations> At least it is similar to that, which involves yelling out when I am falling asleep, either a scream, the last words in my thoughts, or the last words someone is saying on t.v, maybe, if I start to crash when the t.v. is still on.. Usually it does not bother me but has been getting worse. I did not even know the name of it until two days ago when I had a terror attack because of this and was too afraid to go back to sleep when I really needed the sleep in order to function. I guess it was similar to a panic attack. Anyway, I have to make sure this never happens again. One problem is even talking about it--right now, at least--kind of brings the terror on. It is extremely important to me to understand the dynamics of what is happening, and I think I have a clue. Actually when I began to understand it is when it began to get worse. I hope this does not discourage anyone from investigating their own internal dynamics---weak ha ha:-)