My final decision

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It was a bad steak.....but a steak, nevertheless

I hope you have better luck soon.

Nothing quite like the fearlessness of a man who’s already accepted death as a possibility.. because, really, what have you got to lose?

Bingo. Nothing.

That said, if you’re open to discussing trying something you likely haven’t to see if it changes your mindset & opens up new possibilities, feel free to pm and I’ll shoot ya a message with what worked for me to bring me back from that brink ~10 years ago. Then we can chat about it via pm, or on the phone if you prefer.

Because, really, what have you got to lose? Nothing.. and gain? Potentially everything.

Yup…yup…! Might not go to that same restaurant again…! Am hoping you do not base your life experience with women as a cause to leave this world , Same with steaks !

Are you seeing this as something that 'should' happen and considering it a failure if or that it doesn't?

If that's the case - I get that this view gets pushed on us all the time by culture, or by people who can't come up with anything else creative to do in life, and then they extend it to how they treat people (as a status marker) to a degree when they run into people who don't. They either don't account for the dynamics or they don't want to (in that case the goal is to smash people on immutable characteristics).

It's still a mistake.

Historically, particularly prior to monotheism and bans on polygamy, something like 50% of males didn't have children. Talking about other animal species, I can't remember which it was - sea lions or walruses - where the percent of males that don't procreate is in the 90% range. There was also a species of elk which went extinct because the females kept selecting for larger racks and eventually the males had 12 foot racks and couldn't make it through the forest.

This side of life is as cold, inhuman, really as psychopathic as things can get short of eat or be eaten.

If you like seeing yourself as a human in the philosophic sense and want to preserve it, really do what you can not to drag yourself down to that level. I'm not saying it'll be easy or that there won't be a lot of pressure in the other direction, just that if life isn't lining up like that and shows no signs of lining up like that - you really shouldn't torture yourself over it. It won't help.

I mean really thinking about it, it's sperm + eggs + vulva. By itself it's not an achievement. It may say something about a guy's genes that he passed a woman's boundaries but not a lot else. A lot of it is brutally arbitrary. Just to be 'different' in any way, shape, or form can make it almost impossible. I've had friends with high IQ's who were into creative endeavors, even with great social skills and reasonably good looks their being different made it really hard for them to find matches.

Point being - it's not easy, and it's either meant to be almost effortless or nearly impossible based on things you don't have control over.

"They always come back."

Lose weight.
Not rocket surgery.

Too much porn to watch.
Die later.

Bottom line is, that calling yourself a virgin is "Fake News".
Your cherry has been busted.
Time to move on.

I've had nothing but lousy luck my entire life. Why should that magically change now?



I am so fed the f**k up with this BS.

This isn't about what society is pushing on me. It's not about cultural expectations. This is about my desires and my needs. It's about what I want! I want to have satisfying sexual relationships with beautiful and interesting women. And because through neither choice nor fault of my own the universe arbitrarily chose me to be born different, that will never happen.



So what's your point?

There are winners and there are losers. And I am one of the losers. Why do you think that will make me feel any better about myself?



Losing weight will not reverse aging nor make me any less autistic.



You're still missing the point. I may not qualify of a virgin because of a one-time fluke that was terrible. But that does not change the fact that woman has ever wanted anything to do with before nor in the 12 years since then. Why should that one lousy time make me feel any better about myself?



Life is hardship. Life is disappointment. Life is exhausting. Life is suffering. Life is busting my back day in and day out at soul-draining jobs I hate just earn the bare minimum to technically survive another month at a time while my health steadily deteriorates as entropy slowly eats away at me and I have absolutely nothing to show for any of it.

"All my life I've watched others more beautiful and blessed. Life favors some and ignores others. But our respective standings are irrelevant when it comes to death. In death we are all equal. We are all silent and cold." -excerpt from Blackest Night

Instead of asking what's so terrible its worth dying over, you should ask me what's so great that it makes all the agony of life worth enduring.

Last edited by dorkseid on 04 May 2022, 10:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

There's your lot in a status game largely built on conditions and genes, ie. your starting point in life, and then there's your value as a cultivated conscious being. The later is far in excess of the former - that's what I'd encourage you to keep in perspective.

To underscore that point, I remember a comment Bret Weinstein made at Futures Salon a few years ago, that we know what our purpose is and that it's the same purpose as that of spruce and squid, and to that degree it's a purpose inferior to the minds and capacities we've been given and that we need to explicitly pin down a new purpose fit for what we actually have the capacities to be. I couldn't agree more.

If you do find a romantic partner of the type you're looking for it would be wonderful, if you don't you have to weigh out what you have, and I'm trying to suggest that you - as a person - are superior in value to passing or failing that game.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 04 May 2022, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If I had any value at all, someone would've noticed it by now.

The Theory of Evolution debunked the myth that all are created equal long ago. If all were equal, natural selection wouldn't be possible.

If zero-sum games and status mugging is super common, people hardly notice anything except the next person they can wring out for resources, their next rival, or the next person who could confer more status on them.

It's the realization something to the effect that Idiocracy is very much in the air, that a lot of people are treating themselves dutifully like throw-away objects and treating other people the same. It's not a psychologically healthy world and it's a place where very few people are ending up with great lives as a result.


It has nothing to do with being created equal, we're clearly not. It has more to do with the idea that human beings treating each other as pure meat, both in the romantic and economic sense, is wrong. I'm not even sure that death and nonexistence or death and further existence even means that much (outside of Abrahamic beliefs that I don't subscribe to). The main issue is that we're collectively going crazy, dutifully running head first at what we consider to be our only value, and for that we don't need any of this - chasing each other around in the forest with spears, or even just rocks, would suffice. It's a disgrace to what we've made.

Exactly!

So why continue to play the same losing game? Why not just get it all done and over with now?

It's smashing something that's superior to what's happening to you.

I can't tell you that the realization I'm trying to get across will make it hurt less, but what it may do - if you haven't considered it before from that direction - is you may see options for other ways of playing the game or other games you can pick up that add value, meaning, purpose, etc. in a way that resolves the worst of this.

On a side note - I'd really be looking carefully at any class action lawsuits related to student debt. I can see where that would give you the sense that your future's getting eaten by an unresolvable weight, it's really a massive f'up that our culture needs to sort out.

On that last note:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamminsky ... 5201491ff6

I'm not sure what the standards are for 'Total and Permanent Disability' but if it's the case that something like ASD makes it a near impossibility to ever pay it off (such as can't get the experience to get the job or then can't hold the job over social differences which is then back to can't get the experience to get the job, then years go by which means depreciated degree) it's worth exploring.

The "game " is a bloody joke, after all.
I just laugh at it, and it doesn't control my life.

<Pepe gives the bird to social convention>