Raves

Post Reply New Topic

Its a lot easier for me to be positive now cause I got the good life at last

I HAVE INTERNET-ACCESS FROM HOME! NO MORE SITTING IN ANNOYING COMPUTER POOLS, WORKING ON WINDOWSES!! ! YAY!! !

It's like we're a big family, long-lost relatives. I think we're descended from the same ancestors or something. We all have the exact same shade of hair, same texture of hair, same face shape, ame eye shape, same big fingernails, same ruler-straight bones, same flat smooth skin, same way of walking and standing and sitting and that. There was this show I saw once where this woman had her DNA tested and from that alone they found out what tribe in what part of Africa she was descended from and it brought her back to her long-lost ancestors' descendants. I feel like something similar is going on here.

I'm so glad I'm here and now still with my parents because here I can choose not to read my mother's messages! I'm a nasty mean person, I don't need telling. But my mother's shrewlike shrillness and abrasiveness-- not "f**k this, f**k that" abrasiveness, but "I'm educated and intelligent and therefore better than you" abrasiveness comes through even in her writing. Jack said he'd read my mother's messages to me and tell me if they would cause brain damage or not. He said something like "This one's nice, these three cause a bit of brain damage and this one is terrible." I swear, some stuff she says and the way she says it is like an electric shock. You start reading and aren't sure if you want to continue because will there be any little unpleasant zaps in it?

Yeah, your a full grown woman now, she cant keep thinking she can baby you around like that anymore. Goddamn.

Vodka and orange juice IS really good; I can see why it's popular.

It took me ten years since my illness and a year of living on my own to be able to easily say that I really, really love my mother.

There has been a lot of bad behavior, guilt and manipulation in those ten years- it was a long fall from the overachieving first child of intellectuals to being the black sheep. But having a sick child is hard. She will perhaps never understand me like I might understand her, but it doesn't bother me now. We are all still learning. She has more periods of reflection, and I am trying to learn how to not have to be so passive. Developing an understanding later down the line makes things much more difficult, but it is never useless.

If I am ever (big "if") healthy or stable enough to have kids of my own, I think they would like her. And I think I would feel good about that.

I feel really clear-headed right now, and I can see everything so well.

I finished my English project fourteen days before it will be due.

I, in turn, have called them everything imaginable too...muahahahaha.

Imagination - I laugh and amuse myself.

Jack is the most patient person I've ever met. I didn't realize until now that for my whole life I was constantly exposed to emotionally disturbed people (at school, at home, on the street, everywhere) and now suddenly none, and now I know what it's supposed to be like.

My mind!! I can pass any test with minimal studying. I is so smart!! !!

I'm excited because TWO WP members will be joining me, Jack and Rich and the five of us will live together.

In two days, I get the rest of the pins taken out of my wrist!

Hooray! Perhaps this time I will take a real camera, instead of just snapping a quick cellphone picture, so I can make a video of the event to gross out all the people I know. That should be awesome.