Moody moods

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I'm in one of my moods again. Lonely, mostly depressed that I'm lonely. What triggered it was this:

So today my ex who I haven't talked to all year long asked me to go "hang out" by text. That was an hour ago.....it was too short of a notice I thought so I said no and that I had other plans. Now I'm stuck having to go out to save face, and I'm going to Happy Hour with my friend, who had invited me anyways.......so now I'm just really depressed. Why can't I have someone who actually LOVES me the way
Michael Buble sings about?? UGH!! I hate this feeling. I feel literally lost in the world like I'm never going to find him. The guy I'm going to marry, I mean. I'm just frustrated.....where are you? Blah...

Sorry.....I vent a lot.

I thought I would never find the person for me. Me especially, because I'm a rare kind of person that needs a rare kind of person. But I found the person for me. I'm having problems with him but I should just get my mental health problems sorted out so that I can be kind to him no matter what like I want to be and know he deserves because he's him and because everyone deserves to have everyone be kind to them all the time.