I wish I could just have my remaining sweetness taken away

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Although I don't like people, I still have pure parts of my heart. I still retain some sweetness and kindness and I like naive stuff like kindness and love.

I just wish there was a way for me to kill the remaining goodness inside me so I can be hardened and cynical like everyone else. (Funny how this is reverse conformity)

You don't wanna do that, FP. It happened to me, and it sucks cos during religious arguments I can no longer say, "I'm a good person, if God puts me in hell just cos I'm an atheist, he must be an a**hole." Cos I'm only partially a good person now.

keep the goodness. your young, your technically a teen, and teens are all about being "bad"

i also "toughened up" and tried to turn into an ice-cold a**hole, there was a period where i would say "a**hole" to my friends instead of "hello"

now i have no friends left :]
well, maybe one or two

point is, once your a bit "more grown" its a lot more rewarding to be a nice guy. among the few friends i got left, if we're in the store together, i'll gift them money for a can of soda, if they ask to borrow some, you know? being nice is cool. the same friends have since then returned the favor.

Don't do that, we all need kindness. Sure I can be uncaring a lot, but if I see someone drop their papers or needs help opening a door, I'll be the first to help them out. I am nice to strangers just as long as they are nice to me.

I once wished that I had been a b***h and a bully because it seemed like those kind of people always won. I thought that people liked them, but one girl said to me she only hung round with the bad girl because she was frightened of her.

So, maybe stay nice

Don't do that FP.

We all need kindness these days.
Maybe try out a volunteering job?

Wanna trade for my bitterness?

If you want to be cynical you need to suffer for it. You need to be hurt a lot by other people. Really, you don't want that, believe me.

For a minute there, you made it sound desirable like you have to sit waiting for weeks by the Christmas tree before you can open your presents

Oh, I WISH!



I have hurt alot by others, the funny thing is that it makes me more feeling and sweet and feeling sorry for myself. If I haven't suffered enough, then how much more do I have to?

I know exactly how you feel. See I am a very sweet and friendlyperson and I do not mind it. the only part I do mind is that there are people out there and unfortunately almost everyone in my life who takes advantage of this trait to a very painful level. They bully me into getting me to do "favors" for them and things that are even difficult for me. See I have aspergers and I am very sweet, but I have trouble with empathy,sympathy, and understanding other people's emotions, feelings, and/or intentions. But because of this friendly trait, no body believes me and expects me to not only have all of the empathy,sympathy and/or understanding, but they up the ante and expect me to be the best expert at these things. Especially wehn they are having it bad and/or having a bad day, I am the one they go to to put out and vent their frustrations too.A lot of times when they are upset and can't express it too others, they can just take out that stress out on me and they expect me to understand it enough so I have to put up with it.

I don't really mind that, but my emotional sensitivity seems to be bothering others. So I want to be cynical and uncaring just like them.

I was very sweet up until my mid forties, but I have noticed a change, I think we get naturally more horrid as we get older, which is good in my case. I am becoming a grumpy old woman and later, I am going to be a grumpy old woman with a grey bun in my hair and spectacles and I am going to peer over the top of them in a very grumpy and unsweet way

I'm not as sweet or naive as I use to be. It's sort of a double edged sword for me. I don't get the same positive attention I use to and kind of don't care anymore.

So there are some things to learn from these experiences. I think I'd rather be more assertive than bitter.

You get the best avatars, I loved the cat, now I love the guitar with the music coming out too.

I am not as naive either and also I really am more grumpy but very kind still.

Taken away? I wish I could have my sweetness given back to me!