How can I get other people to understand my son?

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This summer has been so frustrating to me. I can't even begin to imagine how my aspie son is feeling.

In summer school he had to contend with a girl that stood a foot taller than him who bullied him relentlessly, got others to bully him, and during the last week of school she physically attacked him, spraining his right wrist. And this all happened in his gifted class! The girl was sent home from school for two hours! They didn't even suspend her!

My son then went away to a week-long summer camp. The medic at the camp sent all his medication back with his tour leader instead of keeping it and dispensing it himself, as stated in the parent guide. His tour leader failed to give him two-thirds of his medication, and had the nerve to complain to me about his behavior. He was going on his sixth hour of an anxiety attack when I arrived for visitor's night. And to think, they tried to get me not to come when I was in route to the camp. I gave him his medication and thirty minutes later he was calm. I can't believe they actually asked me what I did to calm him down! Like it was some great mystery they couldn't grasp. They actually had the nerve to tell me that it was his responsibility to come take his medication. He's only 11 and can't focus enough to remember to take his medication without taking his medication first! Idiots!! !

At youth group tonight, another parent was on him about his behavior (talking too loudly and interrupting) all night. She threatened to remove him if he misbehaved again. The youth director wasn't concerned about his behavior, knowing about his Aspergers, OCD, ADD, and anxiety problems. But, when he spoke too loudly and out of turn again, this woman tried to physically grab him and carry him from the room. She whispered in his ear that she was going to take him home. He perceived this as a kidnapping and raised holy cane! I arrived just after the incident. The mom headed straight to my car and proceeded to tell me how badly he behaved and how if her child behaved that way she would remove them from the activity. It took me 20 minutes to get him calmed down enough to talk to me. When he went to bed his voice was hoarse, his nerves shot and his feeling of safety at church totally destroyed.

When he goes back to school he will start changing classrooms for each subject. I can't get the school to do an IEP for him because he's not failing any of his classes. Unbelievable!

How can I get other people to understand my son? I tell them about his conditions and they think I'm being overly protective. They think I want preferential treatment for my son. All I want is some patience and understanding. How can I get them to understand that his brain simply works differently, that he doesn't perceive body language and other social queues?

He really is a great kid with an awesome sense of humor and he has sooooo much knowledge and love to share. He has the faith of a saint and is so talented vocally. He is the most creative person I know. I just wish I could get other people to see his value and worth.

I welcome any suggestions I can get. All I know right know is I need help!

First off let me say, that your son is very lucky to have a mom like you. I just wish my parents showed a quarter of the attention you show towards your sons AS.

How will people become more understanding? If you have explained to them already about your sons symptoms and they are still unwilling to be more compassionate, then I have no idea what can be done. When I was in primary school (I had no idea of AS then), my parents on one occasion did ask a teacher to place me in a different seat, because of someone harassing me. The worst part was that this particular person didn't bother me anymore, instead the teacher became rather hostile. Mocking me and insulting me, calling me a coward because I had changed seats.

I had another teacher who was always on my case because of my daydreaming. I was the most well behaved child, probably in the school, and yet she always singled me out. Even kids who were rude and disruptive seemingly got less attention than me. The worst however was the ridicule I got from a certain teacher who was clearly aware of my terrible anxiety.

School was tough. And in hindsight it seemed the more protection I got, the more hostile others (who have no understanding of what I'm going through) became. You can explain things to people. They can listen. But to listen and to truly understand are two very different things.

I wish I had some real advice for you. All I can wish is the best for your son and yourself.

I don't know where you live nor I guess does it matter except for terms of reference regarding school etc.
Your son has one awesome Mum!! Keep up the great work!! ! I too have a son with Aspergers & can fully understand your frustrations & despair. All I can say is keep plugging away, especially at the school & teachers. See if there are professionals around who will go in to back you up too so that it's not 'just the mum thing'. I explained to the principal of my son's school that I would much rather not be going on about him all the time but the systems & people in them leave me no choice.
I always keep in mind that if I don't go in to bat for Daniel, who will. It keeps me going & keeps me focussed. I guess it's our job, with Aspergers being reasonably new to many, to inform others & help understanding. Try offering resources, info, anything you can think of. If they are not open to it then I would be questioning that environment for the child.
At the end of the day they are our boys & we have every right to be doing what ever we feel we need to to get the help & understanding they so DESERVE.
Hang in there. The most important thing is the safe landing pad he has at home with you! It's great to see other mums going for it.