I repress my emotions till they go through a state of sorrow

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then complete anger, especially right now with my relationship not existing any more. It's frustrating talking to my ex because I never get anything positive as such in terms of promise and commitment any more.
I feel down and for my personal self, 19 and 20 have been very difficult years for me. I incredibly rarely feel consistently happy and I haven't been pro-active for ages now.

I just feel sad all the time, but help is on its way.

I'm just not happy right now. I never allow myself an emotional safety net or anything, because I naturally am not like that - my emotions are always right below or above the surface, so when things go wrong I can't cope.

I don't want to really be where I am any more as a habitat, I want to go and further my progress, I want to start playing music and genuinely believe it, and believe in myself. I don't have many friends at all and I have a lot of pain to express. Also my girlfriend moved out of the relationship.

I don't have a lot of things to look forward to any more at all, and not much at all to fend off emotional distress.

if you had one GF, you are capable of getting another.