Lonely!

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I am *so* lonely! I can stave it off during the busy times but it wakes me when I sleep. I don't mean sexual loneliness (although that's part of it) but supreme longing for the company of another human being. Thre is one < look - re typos, i don't usually make them but this topic has me upset and can hardly making my type legible) - anyway - a human paid to visit me tuesday a.m.'s and i'm very grately, a kind soul. but the rest of the time i'm 100% alone.

to which ithere is easy answers - go out! join things! meet people! use social skilss (none).

i'm no kid, hitting retirement age, not my first bout with lonelineesss. but i know what's causing this one - i found the last Secret in my own life - i hope to goodness it really is the last one, these things are exhausting and terifying to fined.

reading, would you guess my high-funcitoning part is verbal?

what i found was the Obstacle. huge psychological - teh stone rolled over Christ's tomb? well there was my tomb and i just moved the stone. i don't mean sacrilegeous. but the image fits.

so that stone isn't there to fend off loneliness feelings anymore. i'm jut gonna go toalyy heebeejeebies.

just thought i'd share. sorry.

Hello Claradoon, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I checked the 'sometimes' choice on your poll because I feel like you do only sometimes. I mostly feel releif when I don't have to be around other people but I do remember when some older woman standing behind me at the bank gently put the lable back into my blouse at the back of my neck and pressed it lightly into place with a smile. I thought I had been hit with a taser the jolt of having another person touch me when I have not been touched in (what seems like years and now that I think about it, might just be true). it was not a bad feeling, it was just unexpected and the feeling of having missed that contact just swept over me like a storm.

So I am probably as lonely as you, I just don't know it.

I wonder what chemical causes the feelings of loneliness. Me, I was born lonely and depressed and spent most of my life cycling between AS depressed and AS normal. I've been on medications for over a decade now, and really appreciate feeling calm most of the time. And I haven't felt that bottomless pit loneliness in a while either. So maybe it's depression related. I don't know. I do know that despite having a marvelous husband and acquiring five kids and belonging to good churches and belonging to God and having a variety of acquaintances and a few friends, I used to still have huge bouts of loneliness. Tis no fun.
I used to hide in the house where my husband would not hear me cry. He couldn't help me and it made him frantic that he couldn't help me.

Sometimes. I am rarely alone now, since I reside on a psych ward. But lonely I feel sometimes when I have no-one to relate to. I don't feel lonely too often though since I have my bf. It's way less now than it was when I was in school, and way way less than when I lived independently.

I voted 'Always.' Even with people around I still feel lonely, and like Claradoon it's not a sexual thing, it's just me desperately wanting someone else to connect with.

You are all welcome to pm me if you want to talk anytime.

Yes I find it very lonely after a period of feeling lonely in seclusion being around people and feeling outside of real socializing. Because then I have to also manage the thoughts of inadequacy. It's hard to if I get close to a woman and we start to get intimate she will sense something is off. Then I start to remember I react to touch in some different way. "What's Wrong?" and I go from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other.

I'm not sure. Apart from my husband and my mother (rarely), and WP, I haven't had an actual conversation with a grown-up since February. Well, a couple of parent-teacher meetings, and a doctor's visit, but those don't count. And one email conversation with an old friend from 20 years ago.

I'm pretty "socially isolated" , and there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I can't leave the house, because there's no one to take care of the kids, and where would I go anyway?

Am I lonely? Hmmm....generally, no. The only time it ever occurs to me to even think about such things is when I come here and read about how people feel bad for only having three friends and 150 acquaintances. I have no desire to try to go out and "make friends", because I'm not sure what I'd do with them once I had them. My husband is on Facebook, and I've been trying to learn about it to see what the appeal is. I went to the home page and typed in a few names to see if anyone I knew was on FB, but that was hard, because I don't KNOW anyone. I could only think of two names from high school, and those were people I have no desire to contact, and they weren't there anyway. I couldn't remember the names of anyone from places I've worked, except a couple of people I wouldn't dream of contacting, and the same thing with my current life.

Still, I can see the appeal of having someone to share things with and to have a laugh with. I think I feel more "stuck" than lonely. I would like more variety and opportunities for growth in my life, and I suppose that generally involves other people in some way. But lonely? Not really, no.

I hardly ever feel lonely, but a couple of my non-ASD friends are very lonely, so this is a familiar topic. I can't say I understand it, but people seem to have different needs, maybe based on brain chemistry, upbringing, prior social experiences, or personality traits.

I live and work alone, don't know anyone in my area, and have a few friends and family (scattered across two continents) who I talk to once and again. But this is my preference, because the more I try to socialize or interact with people, the worse I feel. I get peopled out quickly and easily.

One friend of mine is on Facebook, but I don't see the point of social networks. I realize they are fun and fulfilling for many people, but not me.

Claradoon, I hope your loneliness is easing.