Feeling Helpless :(

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I dont know what to do i've tried so many different pills, i gone to therapy for over 2 years now and nothing has changed, it become alm ost a custom for me to break down into tears during the day and my mother who stays home for me tries, but she dosent do anything she says she dosent know what to do, what do i do, no drivers lisence, cant make it into school, severe depression and anxiety, thought of suicide before a few times, never tried it, my dad dosent know what to do, how do i manage this pain. I've lived my life with few goals for 15 years and im finding that the logic i folowed isn't working anymore so i dont know how to go through life anymore, it's like someone wiped my life away, i have to start over because everything i did was wrong, please some one give me an awnser i dont know how to handle this and i dont want to go to a mental institue again, the first time was a mistake, but now im coming closer to going and i cant go, please help me!!

Why are you on pills to begin with? And what is the therapy for?

What did you do that was wrong?

Please explain more. It would help us help you.

Depression is the pits. Since you can't think straight when you are so severely depressed, you will need to rely on somebody else's thinking for you until you climb out of that pit. I'm sorry.

Some people have found... not electroshock but a name like that, therapy very helpful. Some haven't. Have you been at least 6 weeks on each drug you tried? Do you know that at first some of the best anti-depressants can cause increased suicidal ideation for a while? When I first started on 5 HTP, the suicidal ideation was nearly constant the first month or so and then tapered away. What a bother that was.

If you had a goal to work toward, what would it be?

I wish you well.

The only thing I know to do,

is try to be helpful to somebody - anybody

I dont know the names of all my pills, but im taking roughly anywhere from 6 to 9 a day, one is Remoron, Xanax, Clonazapan; those are the only onbes i know. I didnt do anyrthing wrong when i went to thre institute, the doctor said it would be a calm and refreshing place to go to, he was dead F***ing wrong. During the day i have sparatic moments of being lost and just walking around in circles, i also have moments where i just start to cry, and then i have some like the on i have right noiw where i have to take my shirt off, because i get so danm itchy and its like im whereing a coat made of tiny hairs. I dont understand exactly why i get these symptoms, the doc said i might have either ADD or OCD, if thats the correct way to pronounce them, i dont know? I have been tested before which is how i have come to where i am today. I know that the pills i am taking are at there max dose, and there have been times before where even after i was over dosed, with three diff meds i still couldnt calm down. I do beleive there is something wrong ? I am considering trying some other tests and college funded one also, im very desprate.

The side effects of your medicines are scaring me.

Is there a possibility that some of your meds are making the side effects of them all worse or that they need to be cut back on?

Perhaps check the side effects? and the reasons you are on each tablet? You could be taking a few different tablets for the same reason?

Have you tried activities? Swimming or walking? Horse riding?
It may be worth a try if you haven't tried it before or if you can try it. Just a suggestion, I'm trying to think of anything that may help.

Alot of the meds I'm taking do focus on one thing which should be anxiety or depression, my depression has gotten really bad to the point where I'm in despair, it sucks.