Loneliness

Post Reply New Topic

I don't have much energy to write too much right now but I needed some support and someone to read/listen.

I feel so alone all the time and have such a hard time finding my words, whether to express my feelings or to make plans with another person. I just feel as if no one really wants me or will ever want me. I am so confused about my future; if I'm making the right decisions or if I will ever find my place in this world.

Currently I am feeling suicidal but I know I won't do it. To be honest sometimes I wish I could. I know suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem but it really feels as if this "temporary problem" has shown up so many times in my life that it feels permenant.

Thank you I maybe will update more later.

So you feel suicidal? You must be feeling pretty bad and pretty alone. I'm the first one to post (yeay!), but others will chime in too and offer you a hand of support. You say you have a hard time finding the words to say to people. I too put a lot of energy and focus into finding the words to say, and end up with broken, awkward, confusing sentences. People tell me that talking to me is weird. When I write an email to a person, I cannot make the sentences flow. I might sit for an hour, typing and then rewriting what I wrote and come up only with two choppy paragraphs. Some people have a more difficult time with language and communication than others. There are many people at our level who are willing to talk to us. Heck, some people will even be your "silent friends" I find it helps to refresh your mind by taking a walk outside, doing some sit ups, stretching. If you need advice with anything, feel free to PM me. I'm in my mid twenties and oh boy, being 18 sure as heck is stressful and confusing.

Hey Akwime,

People may say it's easy, but expressing your feelings, whether it's in words or writing is a very hard thing to do. Writing them down may be a bit easier because you can take your time, but even then it's still hard sometimes! The good thing is you've reached out and there are people who can help you and will listen. I find if i feel really mad or lonely it helps to write it down, even if i throw out the paper (or delete the word document!) later, that way you can read through it and make more sense of how you're feeling. And as Learning2survive said, taking a walk outside or doing excersise helps. There are even activities which help you to concentrate and channel your feelings eg martial arts, tai chi etc.

Nothing in life is ever permanent, even the sea and the sky changes. I think you are a very strong person to have the courage to ask for help, and you're still here with us which shows how resilient you are. If you need any help, need to vent, or just want a friend, PM me.
-Cad

Hi, akwime1290.

I was in the same situation you were at 18. Yeah, it sucks. I wanted friends and especially a girlfriend, but every time I talk to new people I'm either too scared to speak or I say something offensive without knowing it... and it's not like I could hold a conversation with anyone anyway. Hang in there. I met Steven Hawking in 1995 and he said something that really helped (well, his voice machine said it)... albeit I took 10 years to take action. He told me, "When there are so many things you CAN do and enjoy doing, there's no time left for the things you can't do and don't have."

PM me if you ever want to chat.

Be assured that you are not the only person with the feelings you describe. This is a large and popular web site just for the many, many people who at some time feel just the way you are feeling now.

And this is important. Because it means you are not as alone as it seems. I don't know if you are in counseling or therapy. What I always tell people who are hurting: Counseling has no magic, but it helps to share your problems with someone trained to understand them. Sometimes you must try a few therapists before finding one you can connect with.

And: Try to get up and DO something. Anything. Go to the coffee shop; go to the mall; take a nature walk; kick a wall if you have to. But this is not a good time to be having a dialogue only with yourself. I know, I know...the depression saps your strength. But that is temporary.

As a young man, I met and dated young women in a dating service. I don't think I could have formed relationships any other way because I needed a structured process for meeting people. I soon realized how many people are out there with similar issues.

Sounds corny, but hang in there. And please keep us posted.

I know what it must feel like, it feels pretty hopeless. People like ot point to a chemical imbalance, and so some degree, they have a point. But I can remember feeling straight up suicidal over little things, I've felt like I was valued less, in the past. It was pretty hard not to care about the rest of the world, even though it seemed to ignore me. Then I'd not care anymore even about the people closest to me.

I don't know if that's your experience, but you can tell us more about what you're going through. I know people in the real world like to blow stuff like this off or roll their eyes when feelings are discussed, but I've unloaded here without any criticism, people listen over here.

I felt as you do at 18. I was at my worst and i even thought out a way to kill myself. I didn't want to die but i felt so sad.

It will get better though. I will be your friend if you want. I know life is hard but it gets better as you get older. 18 is the start of being an adult and that means you have a bit more freedom.

Pm me if you want to talk, any time. I will try to respond as soon as I can. You can just vent if you want. I'm here for you and I'm sure a lot of WP members will be too.


I found a lot of friends here. I know you will too!

Don't give up! cause if you do I wont get the chance to be your friend.

Thank you for all of the support . I am feeling a bit better this weekend but my moods just feel as if they are going up and down. Just-me I don't think I actually want to die but I feel so sad that I don't want to live either, it's a really horrible feeling. At this point I am very nervous about starting college and making new friends there, I know there has to be someone else like me in the mix but it feels as though the majority is not. After college also makes me worry some because I know then I will have to be out in the cut throat work world which isn't to sympathetic to those with Aspergers or other differences from the mainstream.

For the past four years I have been in and out of counseling because I could never find the right counselor. At this point I think I might wait until I go to college to find a new counselor. Hopefully, I will find success this time. Before I hadn't really brought up that I may have aspergers to the counselors (I wasn't formally diagnosed, I'm still not in a way but I am diagnosed with NLD) so this time I will mention that or find one who understands Aspies. In the past I don't think any of my counselors or anyone in general really understood how I work so hopefully they will now a bit more. Thank you for letting me know that I can PM you if I need too. I will try to sometime, however, I also find talking to people online hard also (This post was a bit difficult for me to even post).

I can remember the time in between graduation and college myself. It was not the best time for me. It will get better when you get busy with school. Just do you to pass the time. I mean do some fun stuff you like now and don't worry about feeling disconnected. I used to worry about stuff but now I make myself only concern myself with this day and even the hour. I do plan for the future but if I find I have worries I do some smallest thing toward that situation now if I don't like what I percieve it to be. It's the difference between thinking about life and living life. If i new all the hard and bad stuff I had to deal with each of the days in the year ahead, I would get depressed. But I don't know what those days will bring. I do know that I have this day, this hour which has not been the best hour for me to tell you the truth. But like you I know I have come through these times before. I heard an analogy about our emotions being like cargo in the back of a truck. You're the driver and you know how to keep the vehicle going down the road despite some things that are not tied down back there. Sometimes the cargo is heavy too. Just go slow and steady you will get down the road and carry some good stuff around too. You are fortunate to be self aware with this at your age. You have an awsome oportunity to figure out a few things about this social thing. You will. What do you think you will be good at in your classes?

Composition time(48mins.)

The analogy was very interesting, it's easy for us to forget that we are in control of our emotions because the emotions (to me) feel like they control us. I am not exactly sure what I will be good at in my classes only because I do not know how different college classes are from high school classes. I think my biggest strength is writing essays and answers to open ended questions, I do pretty well on tests depending on the subject. I am honestly not sure how well I will do on note taking only because in high school it felt as if the notes we're being practically handed out to us so hopefully I can keep up.

I am going to have a 504 plan but I'm not sure what accommodations I will have until I make an appointment to meet with the disability office. I mostly concerned about my social needs not so much my academic needs. Thank you for adding the composition time it was a friendly reminder that I'm not the only one who takes a long time to write out an response, not sure how long one this took me because I was doing various things at the time (easily distracted I suppose).

I have note issues too. I'm taking a class for professional reasons. I looked over my notebook and there is a few scribbles at the top of each page illegible. I just don't know how to do it and I can't write fast enough to take everything down. It's ok I do well on tests like you if I apply myself.

College class is most times like a high school class it's still learning except without all the extra rules for people who act like idiots. People are there because they want to be there. You can figure out what you want to take and do and there is plenty of time to do that. I really enjoyed learning once I found something I liked.

I was unaware of why I am dysfunctional socially until about a year ago. But I started making progress a little before that. For me it was gaining an understanding of the dignity of people(myself included)which is hard after many disappointments. Again we can't let our self image be determined by our emotions or by what others do. A healthy self image is not synonymous with self-sufficiency or self-confidence. It comes from knowing the innate value of people weather they choose to realize it or not. They may not understand their value or try to live as though they have no value and live an awful way and do rotten things to others but we cannot strip a person of their dignity. Not to ourselves either. The other thing that has helped my social life has been the way I approach the whole thing. This is corny sounding but, What I do is to remember to focus on giving the love. I mean to approach a stranger in your class or on campus or try to figure out what to do after you start to know them. It works well to focus on giving some good feeling to the person. After all you can't focus on other unhelpful feelings when you are loving people. Try it. exercise it in some low risk sittuations. Thank you for posting your message because I have to remember to do this very thing. I am this way and will be ,you know? Praying for you akwime