How do i deal with berievement and ultimate sadness?

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You know, about horses, my big brother exercised horses at the race track for several years. I'm not sure what he did, but he certainly didn't get on them. I guess he walked them around, and I saw him play with a horse once - how's that for a visual? He sort of patted his knees like you would for a dog, then the horse did some sorta of "Ya I wanna play" and then Bro sorta made like a bear and lumbered to the horse, who cantered off and came back again. Equine tag, maybe.

Anyhow, any kind of horse establishment might be delighted to hear from a possible volunteer. Maybe you could go have a look see.

How are you with animals generally?

That's a good idea Claradoon! there are a few stables within walking distance of my house!

Animals seem to get on very well with me btw
A couple of times people have tryed to warn me that their dog can be aggresive, and had them come up to me and be very nice and friendly!
Maybe because i don't come accross as a threat? who knows why?

You sound so much like my big brother. He has that reaction with animals too. No matter what pet we got, the pet preferred him. We had a big ol' tom cat that wouldn't let anybody pet him, except Bro would lie on the floor and offer his forehead, and tomcat would come and wash Bro's hair.

And Bro's son inherited exactly that same trait. When the kid visited my sister, she launched into her standard "welcome and please pardon my cat who hides under the bed" but she stopped when she noticed the "shy" cat climbing up the kid's leg, purring like mad.

That's quite a talent you've got there, Justin. Animals are excellent judges of character btw.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad by saying you should be over it because x amount of time has passed. Everyone greves at their own pace.

That being said, make yourself aware of the stages of grief. Most people simply progress through them, but it's completely OK to skip one or go back to one breifly. You just want to not be stuck at one for longer than you feel is necessary. It also helps you know whats coming next.

The stages Kubler-Ross identified are:

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Additionally Dr. Roberta Temes in the book, "Living With An Empty Chair - a guide through grief." Temes describes three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss. For me they seem to be the stages of the Acceptance phase. They are:

Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)

Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)

Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)

Disorganization is the hardest one for me. I start to do something then get distracted and pretty soon nothing gets done.